Jill,
you need to talk to your dad and find out exactly what his wishes are. He probably has friends and a network of people where he lives now that you probably aren't even aware of. This could be of major importance to him. Being isolated from his friends may not be the best thing. I had to have the same conversation with my dad and in addition to the being close to friends things he also abhored convalescent hospitals and literally BEGGED to be able to die in his own bed. It was really a stretch for me to line all of of the caregivers and manage all of the money and bills. I struggled with resentment from time to time because of all of the unanticipated diversions from what I thought was my "normal" life. In the end it was a tremendous spiritual gift to me to be there for my father. I could not wipe his butt though or do the diaper thing -I paid others to do that (some can - I just couldn't get past it - believe me -I tried).

I have to say though that sadly, many of his friends abandoned him because they just couldn't face it - even the sickness part of it - much as some of my friends did the same thing,

Then I spent years in therapy wondering whether I couldn't have done more, like take him in but he set me free - he adamantly did not want to live with us. It was a blessing for me to be able to honor his wishes and God opened every door to make that happen at exactly the right time. There were many other issues even before the cancer - he fell and broke a femur, had a corneal transplant and extensive MOHS cancer surgery on his face, of which I had to nurse (in my 1st six months of alcoholic recovery). I did the best I could and reaped benefits and blessings I never anticipated - sure it cost me a lot of business, lost money and relationships and other things but today I have a clear conscience that I honored my father and helped prepare him for his death. A pastor once told me that the most important people in your life are those that will cry at your funeral - they certainly aren't your co-workers or your boss - you're just a number to them. Our worth is really measured by the quality of our families and our relationships.

Little did I relaize that this was a lesson to prepare me for the same possibilities.

I put together a team of people to spread the load out. I had some paid, some hospice and some volunteers. I saved the quality time for him and I. I let the paid people and volunteers do the dirty work. I was actually able to get some semblance of balance back in my life and that is what you must focus on, especially with a husband and children in the picture. This is an opportunity that you will only have once.