I agree with Amy, the above posts have certainly given me food for thought. Just recently (last couple of months)I have been really down and depressed the doctor has even suggested antidepressents which I'm afraid I refused so started taking St John's Wort which have helped a little but still couldn't shake the feeling of sadness and after reading this thread I have just realised I have been mourning for my old "normal" life before cancer. But even though most of the posts in this thread are encouraging it's still difficult to make your mind get back on track and adjust to what is now the "new normal". Linda

You are all so terrific! I have been mourning our past lives -- just got an empty nest and then bam, look what we hit head on. I have to admit I've been having a bit of a pity-party. I've given myself a good kick in the pants and am determined to have a more positive attitude. I know that cancer has changed both me and Kenny. We are certainly different people now. I believe we are both more humble, patient and kinder today that a year ago. I hope I have the opportunity to help others as much as you guys have helped me.
Thanks!
Carol

I never believed that life would be normal after Dennis' treatment. He had stage III tonsillar, had the upper right lobe of his lung removed and drank like a fish. Had no hope.
He changed. He stopped drinking. Completely recovered from chemo and rad, and now I sometimes am amazed that I no longer question a difference in our diets. It used to be nothing but chocolate shakes with as much protein as I could cram into a serving. Three times a day.....begging him to just take a little. Now, he is eating anything that he wants. Prayers are answered! (Don't give a flying rip who your higher up is....he knows, and he hears, if you mean it!)
I'm the one who has to back up sometimes and wonder. It was soooooooooo f...ing hard for so long, and now we're supposed to act normal again?
It's always a feeling you have in the back of your mind....'what if'...'what now'....but life has always been that way, hasn't it? We were just to busy to notice.
I'm trying to thank God (hope that's ok to say now...???? ) everyday that I'm able to realize the gift we've been given.
An ordinary.....boring.....BEAUTIFUL....Life..
Mandi

Mandi, thank you for your honest, refreshing post...so glad things are going well for you and Dennis....Take Care and God Bless....Love, Carol

Carol, I was diagnosed 4 years ago come this May 10th. I have to tell you that I honestly believed my life would be the same after surgery and radiation, of course it was not. Getting oral cancer has definitely had a huge affect on me. It changed my outward appearance, I still have some speech issues due to dry mouth, neck stiffness, dental issues, etc. But cancer affects so many people, young and old, I am grateful to be a survivor of this dreaded disease....Happy to be here...Love, Carol

An ordinary, boring and BEAUTIful life - ain't that the truth! I've only been going to work a few hours here and there when I can manage - I told my coworkers the other day that I will never again complain about the daily grind of going to work everyday. If only things were that simple again. I hope they will be. I told my daughter once that she should pray and give thanks every morning when she gets in the shower that she has been blessed with the ability and the clean water to shower with. She laughed, but she got the point. As they say, little things mean a lot!
Michele

Isn't that the truth! It's funny this is coming up now - I was just telling my sister the other day to be thankful and happy about her routine when she was saying how boring things are. I can't wait until my husband and I can get back to our routine. I will never complain about that again! It will be soooo wonderful!

My children attend a private Christian school and we are members of the church that is affiliated with the school. Close community to say the least. One of our mothers, Jeanne, died last May of ovarian cancer. She was in her mid 40's and she and her husband have 4 beautiful children, 2 boys and 2 girls. She died one month before her oldest, a son, graduated. Her youngest is in my 9th grade daughters class. She fought this cancer for 5 years, opening her house to the kids when she was home and healthy for study nights or just to have fun. Even when she got to sick to go upstairs and they brought a hospital bed in and put it in the living room, she still had the kids over, and they would simply sit around the bed or even on it with her. This was a loved woman who also lost her mother when she was 17, to the same ovarian cancer. She knew how to help her children lose her, as she had been through it herself.
One time that she was in the hospital, she quietly said that she would give anything to be at home, on her hands and knees, washing her kitchen floor while the kids did their thing and her husband watched TV. That has always stuck with me. I have never, ever bitched about washing my floors again...........and I do it on my knees, throwing a hello Jeannes way each time.

Love, with a healthy dose of kindness, consideration, compasion and appreciation for what we have in the present and what we have been given in the past will see us through to the end. Amy