Hello,

My name is Samantha Dominick and my 71 yr old mum has just been diagnosed with tongue cancer. The ENT guy has said that he thinks the tumor on the base (under) her tongue is the primary area, and that it is localized...we haven't gotten a stage yet but the tumor is 3 cm X 4 cm. We have an appointment with a radiology oncologist and an oncologist next week. I am so scared, I am an only child and I'm all my mum has but I am an hour away and have two small children and a husband. I will be her primary caregiver, but I don't know if I can give her what she needs. I have already posted in the Introduce yourself area, but I thought I would post here as well, just to cover my bases. I am going to need some help, and I have been reading around this site all day, so I thought I would just vent...I hope you don't mind. My mum has been sick for a year and has only recently seen a doctor...she has lost so much weight, that she weighs 84 lbs and she is 5'6...The thought of any kind of treatment is terrifying, she is so weak. Thank you for listening, I know we'll be okay, but I'm scared and overwhelmed and a little panicked!

Hi Samantha
You will do just fine, you will sort what your Mum needs from you, one step at at time, help her sort her treatment plan and see how you can give her some special Mum and Daughter time, that is what is important.. You may not be there for every trip to the hospital, BUT YOU ARE THERE FOR YOUR MUM...
Sunshine... love and hugs
Helen

Samantha, here are a couple of tips for you. Since you have a family of your own to care for, try to get help on your end to free up more time to be with your Mom. Go to as many Dr. appts with her as you can- you will then hear 1st hand what everyone is saying and can ask questions that you Mom may not think to ask. Get as familiar as you can with her Medical Ins. policy so you understand it,as you may have to argue with them down the road. Read everything you can here-but do it step by step and stage by stage of her treatment-or you may be overwhelmed with too much information! And always ask questions-here and at the Doctor's, or hospital, etc. Write down the name of every person [and phone #] that has something to do with your Mom's care so you can contact them if necessary. You will have to be very strong after her treatment starts. Amy