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#51239 07-20-2005 04:55 PM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,627
Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
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Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)

Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,627
Hi Cindy,
Keep in mind that Harry is only a couple months past end of treatment, he probably has a tough time seeing beyond himself right now. Working on the marital problems right now and wanting him to act on his words may be setting you both up for failure at this stage of treatment. I couldn't imagine having to deal with marital problems in his physical and mental shape. He is probably deep in the part of this process that has us possesed by fear of the cancer coming back and a certainty that we are going to die. I know at two months out it consumed me.
Don't be so hard on yourself or on Harry. You may be asking to much of him and of yourself. Marital problems are no easy issue and I'm not making light of them, but you may help Harry more by putting them on a back burner now and let him focus on beginning to feel normal again. Speaking from a patients end, at two months out of treatment I certainly wasn't thinking rationally.
Take care,
Minnie


SCC Left Mandible. Jaw replaced with bone from leg. Neck disection, 37 radiation treatments. Recurrence 8-28-07, stage 2, tongue. One third of tongue removed 10-4-07. 5-23-08 chemo started for tumor behind swallowing passage, Our good friend and much loved OCF member Minnie has been lost to the disease (RIP 10-29-08). We will all miss her greatly.
#51240 07-20-2005 05:31 PM
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 72
Supporting Member (50+ posts)
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Supporting Member (50+ posts)

Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 72
Hi Dave: I want to follow-up on what Danny G. and Erik said about exercise. Exercise is an excellent antidote to depression. I know this from personal experience. If you can get yourself up and out and doing something (walking, swimming, biking), it will help tremendously with depression.

However, If you find yourself lying in bed (or on the couch in a fetal position), or at least unable to leave the house, then you need to get to a doctor to get antidepressants. Good luck! Candace


Sister of guy w/base of tongue cancer, Stage IV, Dx 4/03, finished Tx 9/03
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