Rosie suggested I start a new thread about my husband's first day, so here it is. As to how it went--long, boring, and uneventful. The hardest part was leaving; I have a teenage son, and while he is quite self-sufficient, I didn't want to leave him alone all evening with his father in the hospital. But Ken was quite comfortable, had his books, TV, etc., and begged me to leave, so off I went. Called him 4 or 5 times throughout the evening, however!
The only bad part was seeing Ken's roommate. He is through his second round of chemo, and on week 5 of radiation, I think. The man is in appalling condition! He has TWO tubes (peg and naso), is in the bathroom all the time, throwing up or otherwise occupied, is incontinent-wearing a diaper, taking morphine and oxycodone, and pretty much unable to function. It frightened Ken to death, and didn't do much for me, either. Is this the norm after 4 to 5 weeks of treatment?

Dolores, glad Ken finally got started. Is he on a chemo every 21 days of rad schedule? Is his chemo cisplatin or something else? Don't worry too much about Ken's neighbor as we all react differently to treatment. I was checked into the hospital for each of my 3 chemo treatments and had very little difficulty. Except for the first time when the anti-nausea medicine was a problem and they switched me to another type, everything went well. When I was in my fifth week, I was a little gray, and had lost a lot of weight, but was still continent, if thats a proper word, did not have any vomiting issues and took meds only after work each day as I drive a lot and didn't want to have any falling asleep at the wheel issues. I also drove myself to each rad treatment about an hour and 15 minutes from the house. So not all reactions are the same. I found that the worst part of rad treatment was after the chemo in the last week and first 3 weeks after radiation. The doctors indicated it would keep doing its work even after treatment. My neck also cooked a little bit, but all of it was worth hearing "all of the cancer was gone" after the radical neck dissection and the lymph nodes were biopsied. So just think of this next couple of months as a dream, get through it as best as you can, and know that it will end and is the weapon that is killing this cancer in Ken's neck. Also, make sure you take time for yourself so you have energy for Ken when he needs it which will be especially high at the end of rad.

Hello Delores,

I also had a stage 4 tumor on my right tonsil. I was a T4NOMO. I had IMRT radiation and sailed right thru it. No mouth sores, no burning of the neck, I was lucky. I am currentely going through
chemo. Three weeks on every Monday followed by one week off. I have had no side effects from the chemo either. No throwing up at all. They do give meds to minimize the sick feeling with chemo. I am receiving Carboplatin & Taxol. So far it has held the recurrance in check. Hoping Ken sails through his treatment.

The fear of the unknown is always worse than the actual event.

Danny Boy

Sherry,

I don't know if there is a norm, but if there is, I don't think the roommate's condition reflects it. The fact that he has both a peg and a naso tube is unusual, since they both basically do the same job. This fact alone makes me wonder if he doesn't have other more complicated issues going on. I am also surprised to hear he is on both morphine and oxycodone, unless the morphine is primary and the oxy is just being used to treat breakthrough pain. It's just my non-professional opinion, but his condition just doesn't sound anywhere near the norm. I wouldn't be too concerned, although I'm sure that is a lot easier for me to say, being as I'm not the one who is there beside him. Perhaps you could discreetly ask a nurse about it. I know they can't divulge specifics, but they could probably tell you enough to set your mind at ease.

Hang in there,
Rosie

BTW, how is Delores? She must be one special cat for you to use hers as a screen name. And I don't think you'll escape being called Delores. Just human nature to pick up on that name as it is so prominently displayed.

Sherry,

From my experiences, Ken's roomie is not what I have seen. As Rosie suggests, there must be some other things going on with him. Maybe keeping your focus on Ken would make the hospital visit a bit more enjoyable...maybe snuggle up next to him in the bed...on the side away from the roomie, of course ...

May you have many more boring, uneventful days and nights through Ken's treatment and recovery!

Ed

Sherry,

Maybe I'm not one to comment as I have never had chemo, but I have had two neck dissections, three additional surgeries beyond that, and 37 treatments of radiation. I'm also a dentist, and as such I am pretty familiar with treatment protocols.

I agree with other posters here. We all react differently to treatment, and I strongly suspect that this other patient has other pre-existing medical concerns as well. While I'm sure that experience did not help either of you, it truly doesn't have anything to do with how your husband will fare. I can tell you one thing from the bottom of my heart-your husband is sooo lucky to have you supporting him. I have an 18 year history of oral SCC, and my wife for reasons that I clearly do not understand, has not been there emotionally for me.

Good luck to both of you, and keep on fighting the fight. Take care.


David

Sherry
Just you concentrate on Ken...the guys are right, everyone reacts differently.
My hubby was one sick puppy for a while but, think of it as like labour pains..the result is worth anything ..right! Cuddles and hugs go a long way, made me feel good and I wasn`t the sick one.
Lots of positve thoughts coming your way.
Take care of yourself.
Marica

Thanks, everyone for the reassurances. I didn't think what the roommate was experiencing was the norm, either, so I guess I was just looking for some affirmation. When I arrived at the hospital this morning, Ken was completely exhausted from lack of sleep. The roommate had been up all night, sick or in the bathroom, with battalions of medical people constantly in and out of the room. Also, his room is right beside the nurses station. I requested a private room (none available), but they were able to move him down the hall, away from the station, and in with a man recovering from a transplant who just sleeps a lot. What a difference it made! The room is quieter, less traffic in and out, and Ken is able to use the bathroom. Before, he had to go down the hall to the public restroom because his was always occupied. So I didn't feel as bad leaving today, because I know he will sleep better and have more peace of mind. It was really nice this afternoon; we drew the curtains and I crawled up on the bed and we took a nap together! Hope I didn't break any rules!
Rosie, Dolores the cat is 14 years old, fat and sassy, and likes to sit with me when I am online-hence the original screen name. I answer to either one....