hi. my dad has stage 4 throat cancer.it has several sites in the mouth and throat. it hit all the lymph nodes above the neck.he went thru the chemo and radiation together.well they did his pet scan last week. the dr called and said that the main tumor has shrunk ,but is still lit up showing cancer cells are present.it has not spread anywhere else. i guess my question is since its still active and they did the most drastic treatment,is this it? is he going to die from this horrible disease. i know my mom reads these so mom if you read this dont be mad! the doctor told us if this didn't work then we at least bought him some time. i am so angry right now. i guess i never really dealt with the thought that my dad could die from this.i just kept thinking he can beat this thing. i guess i just never expected my dad(my superhero) would be taken by this.thank you guys so much for letting me vent all this.its been a really rough day.....

There is still surgical intervention to get rid of what remains. Don't expect the worst, there are still options to beat this if there are no distant metastasis.

I agree with Brian, if it hasn`t spread........surgery could certainly be an option........I had radiation and my tumor continued to grow.........surgery got it..........so don`t give up hope..........Prayers your way.............Packer

the problem is my dad has said no way to surgery.he said that if it means he will die without it then he'll die.

I would like to say something understanding and sympathetic here...but the opposite comes to mind. Your father

Brian:

As always, you have left me a different person that when I logged on tonight and I thank you for the powerful prose.

To Daddy's girl: your screen name says it all-ask your dad to risk the scary next step for you if he can't do it for himself. If he is willing to come talk with us here on the board, we would welcome his presence warmly and help allay his fears.For many of us, this forum provides a sense of strength and hope.

Hang in there,

Kim

i cant tell you guys how much i appreciate your words of wisdom.my dad fears disfigurement really bad.they did an mri this week,but then ordered another mri of the sinus cavity.i guess there's concern that it might possibly have entered the muscle and got into the sinuses.he has this mri done tomorrow.i talked with my dad last night. he said if it was just a tiny peice of tissue that they had to remove,then he will try ot.however,if it involves any disfigurement then no he wont opt for it.i mean,i knew the chances of a cure were pretty much out of the question. i guess deep down inside i just wanted him so badly to beat this ugly monster.our family has a heavy history of cancer, so i guess i'm not really surprised.its just the moments of thinking what he might miss if he isnt here that just overwhelm me.my babies are still young(8,6,and4).i know how rich my life has been because my dad is in it,that i mourn that my children might not have that option.for my dad i think he still very much in denial of this disease.fear and denial may turn out to be a fatal combo for him this time.he says he is just not afraid of death.he will miss us when he goes ,but he's not scared.i dont know how to combat that!thank you all so much for loaning me a shoulder.right now it's really hard to express these feelings to anyone around me.

Sounds like your dad is also terrified of disfigurement which may or may not be the case depending on what options are presented to you. Keep us posted and we might be able to match your dad up with someone on the board who has a case like his.Many board members are willing to speak by phone if the message board doesn't work for your dad. Often speaking directly with someone who has had similar surgery helps.

Meanwhile, hug your kids tight-they will give you strength as you go forward.

Kim

Disfigurement is a small price to pay to watch your children and grandchildren grow up.......it`s not the bookcover, it`s the book.............some would say I`m disfigured, but hey, I`m alive and that`s what counts........I`ve been to the arena 5 times and I`m still me!

Hi, I have looked at this post several times and did not know what to say.I am disfigured, when this started my Doctors were worried about how I would take this because I was a real good looking woman (their words not mine), and could I deal with this? What a piece of "fluff" they must have thought I was. I have grown stronger with this than I ever thought I could be, I appreciate my family more. It has not been easy. I am more proud of myself than I ever was before. I have had 6 operations, big and small. On Monday I go in for the 7th. and 3 weeks later for the 8th. a big operation.Most of this is to put me back together again. There is plastic surgery for any tempory disfigurement you Father may have.Once you start this race you can only work your way to the finish line.I will say this, your father has just went through treatment to get rid of his cancer to find out its not all gone is probably a very depressing thing for him. He may look at this differently after he talks to his Doctor and sees whats really up. Give him some time. I am not afraid to die, it is just part of the circle of life. I am just not ready yet. I do believe every person has to make their own decision about a life threatening illness.If your Father makes this choice , it is his choice, it is his life.I wish you the best with all of this.gnelson