I'm calling my ENT first thing tomorrow morning beacuse this has been one of the most horrible weekends of my life. I noticed a quarter-inch white/grey patch back of my mouth (oropharynx?)and, as a smoker, I think I've done myself in and will leave my wife and children without me.

I've been all over the internet, looking at pictures, got out my old Merck Manuel, looked at the spot in the bathroom mirror dozens and dozens of times. It is there.

Maybe it is nothing, but it is there. So is a great fear.

I've read just a couple posts on this forum so far, and I'm going to read more.

Just thought I should introduce myself and if anyone can tell me how to be reasonable and handle this fear -- whether this huge fear is justified or not on my part -- I would really be grateful.

John

Take a deep breath, John. There are a number of things it could be, but one thing it is definitely is a flashing neon sign to stop smoking. You will need to stop if it is cancer and you want the treatment to be effective, and if it is not cancer, you can consider it a close call. Okay, lecture over, and I promise no more.

We have all been where you are. I don't know a cure for the fear, but somehow we all got through those first scary days. Everyone on this forum hopes you get a negative result. Please let us know what you find out.

Please also know it is not an automatic death sentence. I had a really ugly tumor and am well and happy more than 5 years later. Somehow we seem to take in only the negative information when we first come to the realization that we might have cancer, but try to temper that with the fact that there are good treatments, and survivors.

Thank you for your kind message, Joanna. I am so pleased to read you are well.

Funny thing is, every time I look at it it looks different. Sometimes pink, sometimes grey, sometimes whitish, sometimes it looks bigger, sometimes it looks smaller. I fear I lost my rationality about this . . . and I'm . . . in a very aggitated state!

It doesn't help that my family is on vacation now and won't be back for another 10 days, so I have no one to talk to to help me calm down. I don't want to call my wife because I don't want to spoil their trip.

Tomorrow will be better, I know, because I'll at least be moving forward.

Again, thank you for your message. It meant a lot to read it.

John

John - it's a good thing you are calling your ENT. Make sure you see the doctor as soon as possible. Don't let them put you off - it's way too important! That way, you will know more about what's happening should you decide to call your wife. When I was on vacation at the beach a couple of years ago, I suddenly started having some very anxious feelings about my son but I put off calling him until the next day only to find out that he had had a motor cycle accident and ended up in the hospital. He's OK now from the accident AND from the cancer but I really wish he had called me. Everyone is different, but when something happens to someone I love, I want to know about it right away so that I can be a part of making things better, even if it just means giving someone a hug or being there with them to get some important news. If you have someone go with you to the appointment tho', it does lessen the anxiety a bit and they can help you remember what the doctor says or ask questions. Let us know what happens.

My tongue had been sore for over a year. I had been to the eroom quite a few times because of infections from my sinus and phneumonia. Each time the Dr would look in my mouth after I told them my teeth had been breaking off and my fillings falling out. Not one Dr mentioned oral cancer until the surgeon that does my scopes every 3 months for Barretts Esophagus , had just finished a scope on my throat, and told me he had made arrangments for me to see a cancer specialist to check my tongue. Yep, good old cancer. Make sure you do what you say you are going to do. Don't put it off like I did. Go for the Gold man and find a good Dr.

John

As they all have told you ....The fear and anger and thinking the worst is normal..the unknown is the worst part ..aside from hear those words "you have cancer". But Take a deep breathe and I am glad you called the Dr and if it is somthing that has been there for a while ..I might even request a biopsy as that is the one way to be truley sure.

I was never a tobacco user . Yet I had cancer in my tongue and a dentist and an oral surgeon and a Dr told me that there was nothing to worry about and that they really didn't think it was possible for me to have the cancer And It was Crazy for me to even think that ......Well I was right ......1st and maybe ONLY ( LOL) time in my life I wish I had been wrong. I had my "sore" for 9 months before I got it checked !

So while I can't answer you on how to "handle the fear " I can tell you we have all been there and gotten through it.....Knowledge is power and for me it helped..the more I knew the more in control I felt over somthing I had no control in.

I honestlty wanted to know worst case scenario so when it was better that was good and if it was to be bad ..I wouldn't be shocked. That is
me and that is how I did it ..That And I am a mom of 5 kids and I coached Oddessey of the Mind and I was diag on Jan 23rd and Surgery was Feb 9th so alot was happening so fast and I had to get alot in Order.

PLease keep us informed and Know that we are all here with you waiting and wishing you the best of news. We will answer as many questions as we can , listen to you and give you as much advice and comfort as we can !


Shar

John:
I completely understand your fears. Go to your ENT and see what they think it is, dont panic. They may order a biopsy which will give you the answer not just their opinion. Dont just let it go and wait, oral cancer isnt something to put off. Oral cancer pictures on the internet can be terrible to look at. Dont let that get you upset. You are doing the right thing by getting it checked.

I was diagnosed with oral cancer stage 1 in two areas of my mouth. My doctors have told me its 100% cureable without surgery. I will need chemo and radiation treatments for 7 weeks. I am going to fight this and will be ill for a while, but I will get thru it. I am a single mother of two children, they will be by my side the whole time, just as Im sure your family will be.

John, to add my pennys worth....it's not cancer until they say it is!!! I would CERTAINLY concur with what Christine said DO NOT WAIT!!! I did not and the cancer I had on my tongue has been removed and dealt with by surgery alone. If it is cancer (which of course is by no means certain) then you deal with that as it comes and take it one day at a time (a worn out cliche I know, but it really does work!).

I hope all turns out well for you!

Thank you all for writing me. Been to the ENT and what I have is a regrowth of tonsil tissue and "normal vascular variation." I asked about a biopsy and he said it wasn't necessary and I asked about a followup and he said I could come back any time. So, I will be back in 3 months.

It was a terrible weekend but I'm taking NO MORE SMOKING from it. Sure, as the ENT says, I'll "always be more vulnerable" to cancer, but quitting won't hurt.

I've told my vacationing family. Even though it was good news, they cried. No more smoking.

And I'll make oral cancer screening just as much a part of my routine as the annual skin check, dental check-up and the dreaded 5-year colonoscopy plan.

Thanks again to all of you would thought of me and my thoughts will be with you.

John

John,
I've heard REALLY great things about a new prescription anti-smoking drug called Chanix. (I'm not at all sure about the spelling.) You might want to check it out.

THe anti-smoking drug is Chantix. They have their own website (Chantix.com). It is also available from Canada if you provide a prescription whicch is often cheaper.