Hallo All,
I am new to this forum. Today I learned that my best friend will not make the end of the year. He has been struggling with jaw cancer since last year september. Laser and radiation , 2 small operations, nothing could stop this tumor.
He is still able to swallow ( ensure), talking is painfull but clear voice. I want to help but don't know how, I feel so useless.

Welcome to the forum.

Not an easy thing, and I am sorry to hear about your friend. You have come to the right place for support and answers to questions. I dont know how much I can help but I can tell you that I am def hear to lend an ear.


Shar

DEar M61, the best help you can be is to be there when he needs something - or just be with him. You can't fix this, but you can share his last months with him. Will Hospice be involved in his care? If so, learn what you can from them, if not- it would be good for you to talk to some Hospice nurses and get some guidelines from them. They are well trained in death and dying. It would also be helpful to get some understanding of the medications he is on and what is expected by his Docs as he goes forward. This will take guts on your part. The more you understand about the process, the less useless and more helpful you will be. Amy in the Ozarks

Thanks Amy and SHar. Right now he is home, on Tylenol 3, but pretty soon that wil become something more potent I was told. Because of the Tylenol he is constipated which worries him the most. The specialist said as long as he can swallow he can stay home. He refuses to ask what to expect that is the way he is. He says I take it as it comes. But I like to know what to look out for. His mind is clear, talking hurts becauseof earlier laser treatment in september his tong was affected. The swelling is severe on the left side, it has gone to the lymphnodes and 6 weeks of everyday radiation did not stop the growth one bid.
Ofcourse will I be there for him in everyway possible.
I would like him to take a week vacation and he is thinking about it. He loves the sun and has traveled extensively in his life. Maybe a place closer to home, but just to get away from home, his kids etc etc. Just sitting at home waiting...... I feel is not the right approach and he seems to agree with me.
Thanks for listening that helps me. Mieke 61