I had a biopsy last friday (june 22) and the unknown is terrifing me.

The oral surgeon said not to worry, he probably wouldn't have taken a sample/biopsy except that I am, or I should say was, a smoker. He said he wanted to cautious and not to loose any sleep over it. I am 38 and have smoked about a pack a day since about 14 or 15. I also drink. I now know this is a terrible combination for oral cancer. The ironic part is I finally quit smoking about a month ago, and here I am several weeks later scared out of my mind.

I have white lesions in my upper jaw (intertior), it's not painful, doesn't bother me, I know that doesn't mean its not cancerous or could turn cancerous. It could be benign. It could be in an early stage, it could be treatable, it could be more severe. I just don't know. My mind has convinced me of the worst. The waiting is seriously driving me crazy. And the internet searches on what oral cancer is, leukoplakia, erythroplakia, and a bunch of other names I had never heard of before and can't spell is making my head spin. I"m looking at pictures, and trying to compare to my lesions, some pictures seem okay and turn out cancerous, other look terrible and are not cancerous. it seems that you really can't tell by appearance.

When the dr. took photos of my mouth before taking the tissue, it really set in how serious this could be. I've been thinking, why didn't I quit smoking earlier, I did this to myself, I could have prevented it, I look at people smoking on the street and it's like they are sucking in death and how could they do that, how did I do it myself for 20 some odd years, why did I do that!! I look back to what the oral surgeon said, was he just saying not to worry but he really thinks it's cancerous, or did he honestly think it's probably not cancerous. I go from expecting the worst, to thinking it's going to come back okay, back to thinking the worst.. I know I'm just driving myself crazy and doesn't do any good. The only thing that is getting me through this waiting game is the love and support of my wife.

I will say this, No matter what happens, smoking is no longer an option for me, it's just that simple. there are other lifestyle choices that will be changing as well (alcohol, food, exercise, etc). This past week has been the most terrifying experience, i'm sure others on the board can relate. I know no one has any answers, I just needed write down some of my fears.

much love.

Joe

Dear Joe
you are going through what will probably be the hardest part of your ordeal,...the waitng.Everyone here will probably say the same thing,take a deep breath,then another and try to calm down.
You have found a good place to get all your fears and questions down in writing and i think you will find this very helpful as everyone here has been where you are now either as a patient or a caregiver, so we all understand.

Keep posting and let us know your results as soon as you get them

Joe,

Waiting will always be the pits to deal with and nothing we can say will change that but education is the key to helping your mind deal with the unknowns and you're at the right spot to achieve that goal.

Hi Joe, hang in there. It is a scary time. One thing I have found out is that the only thing I can do is live. I'm just wating time worrying because if it is, it is and worry won't change that. Like David said educate yourself and it will help. The good thing is this may come back as noncancerous and you can make some lifestyle changes and be a healthier man. It doesn't do any good to look back either. Focus on the changes you want to make and try to make them whether it's cancer or not. Good Luck

Joe --

You did the right thing by getting it checked.

As you can see from my signature, my husband was in a similar situation -- his dentist noticed a tiny white patch on his tongue that hadn't been there on previous visits. (He had quit smoking more than 20 years previously.) While the initial biopsy by an oral surgeon showed dysplasia, a noncancerous condition, the pathologist's report (from a lab that does only oral pathology) did raise some potential red flags, so he had the whole thing removed by an ENT a month later. That's when they found SCC at its earliest stage.

He has required no further treatment, other than regular checks by an ENT at a top cancer center not far away. In an abundance of caution, between those appointments he also checks in with the local ENT who did the excisional biopsy.

Fingers crossed for good results... and stick to that decision to quit smoking!

All the best,
Leslie

Hello everyone. The leukoplakia came back as "hyperkeratotis without dysplaysia". I know there is chance it could turn into something worse, but I am so relieved I can't even begin to explain! I do think I will get a second opinion on if it should be removed (was told no action except to watch for changes).

I don't even know how to put this experience into words, or at least how to say it without writing a novel! So I'll just say it's something I never want to forget, actually I should say that I will never forget, and that it has changed me forever.

I only posted on this board once, but reading all the various threads, experiences, and stories helped me get through a tough time. So I want to thank you for that.

all the best.

Joe

So glad it's good news Joe!
Brenda

Remember Joe,

Smoking is not an option and things like alchohol and excercise will change. Your words. Please do these things because you never know what tomorrow may bring.

This is great news here my friend. All the best of luck to you in the future.

Billy

Trust me, I won't forget! I wrote a letter to myself, sort of written from the persepctive of my 3 year old daughter. She reminds me of what I went through, the fears, the guilt, the remorse, she says she wants her daddy to be there for her high school graduation, her wedding. for the birth of her child. She said she loves me and doesn't want to lose me. I mailed copies to myself. I plan to open every 3 months (or eariler if I need to). this was my wifes suggestion and she promised to help make sure I dont' forget.

ps- still not smoking and it's really not as hard as I thought!! i've also joined a forum for support in that arena.

Joe, Great news (both that you don't have oral cancer and that you have quit smoking). I quit smoking at age 37 and was so glad to be rid of that addiction (and I know how hard it can be). I love your wife's suggestion about the letters to yourself, sounds like you have a very supportive (and creative) spouse there to help you.

I hope you never have the need to come back here again!

Nelie