Husband (Buzz)is a very healthy 76 y/o diagnosed as noted via biopsy by oral surgeon, now referred to primary care physician at VAMC, Salisbury, NC on 06/15; We are scared and unsure of what our future holds. I am (Lois)56 and a two-time breast cancer survivor, but this is obviously much more serious. We don't even know what questions to ask! We have read so many articles online, it's just overwhelming! It is my understanding that the prognosis is not good, especially since the pictures made inside Buzz' mouth show large growths, similar to cauliflower clusters, and this appears to indicate the probability that the cancer has been there for a while. He thought he had an abcessed tooth! We look forward to becoming better informed as we go along, and this site is certainly a blessing!

Lois, All of us can relate to your being scared and to your reading "so many articles" on line. My suggestion is that you concentrate your reading energies here, because it is a hugh resourse for oral cancer. As to questions to ask- #1. Take a notebook to every Doc. appointment and write down what you hear them say. #2. Anything they say that you can't spell or don't understand, ask for clarification [you can always come back here and re-ask the question]#3. Who told you the prognosis "was not good"? That could be a long term outlook. #4. The most important thing now is to get a clear picture of the proposed treatment and be sure you understand it. [OCF can help you here also] The old cliche "when the going gets tough-the tough get going" really applies here. There will be lots of folks here to talk to and hold you hand. Amy in the Ozarks

Thank you for your words of encouragement, Amy! We are trying so hard to have a positive outlook. What does your post mean "lost our battle"? (hope I'm not asking anything too personal)...Lois

Lois

You have come to the right place for answers and well as people who will stand by you and pray for you and offer you everything they can , These are an amazing group of people with incredible amounts of knowledge. this is a horrible and scary disease. But you can get through it even if at times it doesnt seem so ..We learn one important thing of nothing else and that is " One day at a time and some days it is one Moment at a time." We can give you questions to ask and suggestions of things to try ,.we are hear to listen and share things with you . I am fairly new ..but always willing to listen . My cancer was on my tongue..but now they are thinking possibly in my Jaw. So I will possibly be going through all of this with you as well ..And I am willing to learn with you !!! SO anything at all ..just ask ..somone usually has some kind of an answer..they will tell you if they dont , but will try to point you in the right direction.. I hope all goes well and i hold you in my thoughts ,,you and your husband !

Sharlee

Sharlee: It's ironic that you have just posted to me, as I had just finished reading your last posts regarding the past couple of bad days you have experienced, and am still teary eyed because I wanted so much to reach out to you and give you a big hug! If anyone believes that being the mother of five children is "having no job", then he needs his head examined! I would prefer to be the patient, rather than the caregiver, if given a choice. The caregiver never knows what to say or do, or how to act. I have been the patient - twice - and know from experience. Now it's my turn on the other side of the fence, and I'm learning quickly that it isn't a fun place to be! You will certainly be in my prayers daily as I know we will be in yours. Chin up, sister...you can do this! I am believing for you and know that you are stronger than you think you are at this point! Keep me posted on your progress! Good night...Lois