Let me introduce myself. I am the newlywed spouse of a wonderful man diagnosed with cancer. We are through the treatment, but this has been the scariest thing I have ever gone through. This story will probably just be like all the others, but it is mine. My husband had a sore on his tongue that would not heal. Saw family doctor, sent to ENT. We saw the ENT the day after Easter. The ENT wanted biopsy. LONG 10 days to wait for results. I was relieved. If it was serious, they would have called us before the 10 days were up, right? Nope, it was cancer. After that, things moved fast. CT scans, specialists, X-rays, more specialists. They staged it at 3 for the tumor, 4 if you included the two lymph nodes that might be involved. They gave us the option of surgery or rad/chemo. Better long term odds with the surgery, so after much soul searching (and crying) we went with that. He goes in for surgery a week later and the surgeon cancels the surgery 2 hours in. The cancer had spread from the right side to the left in the intervening 2 weeks since the CT scan. He said he could not remove the cancer without removing his tongue, and therefore his voicebox. Suggested we go with rad/chemo route. Hubby was devastated when he woke up. They had already put the trach and feeding tubes in pre-op, so it took a while for all that to heal. Trach was removed a week later and he went through 36 rad treatments, with Cisplatin chemo. Brutal, as you all know. He finished treatment July 13, has had two clean check ups, his hair is growing back, he is back at work, looks and feels great. My question is, how long before you stop worrying every single day that the cancer is going to come back and steal your husband before his time? Oh yeah, he is 34 years old. I know the odds of recurrence and they run through my head every day. Have you changed your priorities in life? How do you re-learn how to care about work? It was so not important while he was sick and I don't know how to make it matter anymore. Any thoughts?

I was a newlywed too when my husband was diagnosed. I remember telling the doctors that I just married the love of my life and they had better guarantee me at LEAST 30 year's with him. I think I kind of scared them!

My husband is about 2 year's cancer free and we still both worry. I think it's only human...especially after what we all went through to fight this disease. I believe for you and your husband, it's going to take time. The longer he is cancer free, the more at ease you'll become.

Our priorities have definitely changed. My husband use to work 6-7 days a week. Not anymore! He takes more time to "smell the roses" if you know what I mean. We both have realized just how short life is, and we cherish each and everyday.

My husband and I both have to work. Unfortunately that is not an option, but we keep it balanced. We work hard, but work is not our life. Our marriage and being together is most important. I hope this helped a little. You're both so young to be dealing with all of this.

All the best,

Shelley

Welcome, this is a good place to be if you have to be somewhere because of OC. I'm about a month ahead of you and am have had radiation and chemo. Right now I'm dealing with the initial 2weeks after treatment issue which are rough. Before cancer I worked extended hours everyday and put a lot of things off with my family (wife and son) because of work. I won't be doing that anymore once I get back to work. Like you I worry about how much time I have left with them (I'm 44 yrs old). I have dwelled on statistics, rates, etcc...way too much. I have put myself in some really dark places and found it difficult to pull myself out of them. I will spend everyday I have left, and I pray for 30 years too, with my loving family. I couldn't get through this without the support of my wife, she is still the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

Again welcome, let's agree not to dwell on the gloomy side, care about work but keep it in perspective and stay positive to the best of our abilities.

My RO and ENT Surgeon both told me my prognosis was good with our tongue surgery althou I did have a neck dissection to remove 1 positive node and a bunch of others that were negative. Not sure, but I think the NCI web sites state that there isn't much difference between surgery only and radiation only. I have been told by many though to have chemo with radaition for the best prognosis. Myabe someone else know for sure.

Edited for spelling reply:

Welcome, this is a good place to be if you have to be somewhere because of OC. I'm about a month ahead of you and am have had radiation and chemo. Right now I'm dealing with the initial 2weeks after treatment issues which are rough. Before cancer I worked extended hours everyday and put a lot of things off with my family (wife and son) because of work. I won't be doing that anymore once I get back to work. Like you I worry about how much time I have left with them (I'm 44 yrs old). I have dwelled on statistics, rates, etc...way too much. I have put myself in some really dark places and found it difficult to pull myself out of them. I will spend everyday I have left, and I pray for 30 years too, with my loving family. I couldn't get through this without the support of my wife; she is still the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

Again welcome, let's agree not to dwell on the gloomy side, care about work but keep it in perspective and stay positive to the best of our abilities.

My RO and ENT Surgeon both told me my prognosis was good with our tongue surgery although I did have a neck dissection to remove 1 positive node and a bunch of others that were negative. Not sure, but I think the NCI web sites state that there isn't much difference between surgery only and radiation only. I have been told by many though to have chemo with radiation for the best prognosis. Maybe someone else knows for sure.

Hello
Mine was May 18 2005. 54 Had stop smoking 6 years prior. Non drinker. The fear of it coming back, does not go away,I think we get use to living with it. My right arm does not work as well, after the neck surgery, but I get bye.
My wife had breast Cancer 4 years ago double masectomy. With 12 and 15 year old boys, we tried very hard to keep there spirts up as well.
We all are fine I go back to Rochester Nov 13
This will be the first chest X-ray since the start. I still have that wonder, what if.
But learned not to dwell on it. This Web site is a great thing, before I found this I searched in my area for a support group with no luck for OC.
But did find 3 people that live with 20 miles of me, that had my same surgen, we chat every now and then,2 are 4 years out 1 is 10 years.
Good luck You have alot of support here.