Hi All:
I AM the caregiver. First post here. . .suggested by OCF survivor contact.

[b]49 YEAR OLD BOYFRIEND

Rebecca,
If it were me me I would just show up at MD Anderson and let them deal with the paperwork. "Moderately to poorly differentiated" is never a good thing and he needs to get into the system as soon as possible. When a tumor is poorly differentiated that means it invades all tissue types, even bone. This is precisely the type of condition that needs to be treated at a comprehensive cancer center. MD Anderson is one of the best. Get copies of all of his medical records and a CDROM of any scans and take them with you.

Rebecca, I would think that whoever "confirmed" the cancer could also push to get him into see someone at M D Anderson. You and he need to scream loud at the Doc who identified this and have him get a referral set up now. You can deal with the medical assistance research and paperwork later. Good Luck. Amy

Thanks for the great advice. I'm getting similar responses from everyone (i.e. 'Go now. Don't wait. Do whatever you have to do.'). To date, he's been 'playing by the rules', trying not to tic of anyone in the system. All along I've thought there was no time to worry about that but he's an extrememly headstrong man & and has always tended to become 'aggitated' when I suggest something that doesn't fit in with his game plan. . . .and when he gets 'aggitated', lets just say rational communication fails. I've also been concerned about scaring him (the concern he most vocalized is that he may loose some ability to speak), but you all have confirmed I need start playing hardball. I'm going to speak to his mother first but think she'll agree I need to print off these e'mails (to back me up) and give them to him to read tonight.
Thanks for all your help.
Rebecca

Oh my goodness, as I read about your boyfriend you could have been easily describing my husband, Same age He has stage 4 cancer on the base of tongue which completly took over his tongue. The first signs were the clearing of his throat all the time then difficulty swallowing and talking. Labor day weekend he was in so much pain that he went to the ER he thought he has an absessed tooth. They gave his some antibiotics and pain med told him the dentist he did that and had a tooth pulled (needlessly) nothing got better he went back to the ER they took a CT and sent him to a ENT were he put him in the hospital for 5days treating him for an infection of the tongue with IV antibiotic and morphine drip. Sent him home for 5 more days with IV antibiotics mean whil losing 30pounds and not getting better he finally was going to do a biopsy but by that time I took him to a Boston ENT who scoped him and found it in minutes. THey tried to do a MRI and He couldnt even lie still he would keep choking so the Radiation Oncologoist went by the CT from the one at the ER in may. He had his first radiation June 29 he finished his last one august 11 with 2 chemos. THE most IMPORTANT thing for your boyfriend is to get the GTUBE he needs the nutrition. Brian could not get chemo at first because the drs said he wasn't strong enough because the lack of nutrition from not being able to eat. Please Do not wait any longer we no first hand. It took him from May to June29th to get his first treatment. You have to be your boyfriends advocate he will not be in any state to be able to speak for himself I had to have a Meltdown when I talked to the radiology dept. And explained the run around and time that had been wasted and they got me right in. The radiologist oncologist couldn't believe how long it took. He had my husband and fitted him for his mask ( be warned not a pleasant experience) that same day and schedualed his Gtube placement. So please make some noise.
Take Care
Take Care

Check with hospitals social workers, they can direct you in the way to go. It is a scary time. I went thru it may 2005, what seemed to be a nightmare, is pasted and there are alot of us that are still here.
Good luck to you
Chris

When you feed him (liquids of course) consider Carnation Instant Breakfast VHC which has a whopping 560 cals in each 8 oz can. Get it through your pharmacy for the same price as Ensure Plus. I started using it & it's the best thing out there.