Dear Michelle, I don't know how many people here have had the exact diagnosis as Pauline, but I do know that everyone here has experienced some kind of head and neck cancer- and has experienced some mix of surgery, radiaton, and chemo. You and your family will have to get a grip on the fear quickly-get "unparalyized" and start your plan to help Pauline through this. The answers to your treatment questions can come in a little while. Here is my suggestin for "1st things 1st"
#1. Find the "Getting through it" topics on this forum and read the entries carefully.
#2. Designate 1 or 2 clear headed people to go with her to all Doctor appts. from now on and take a notebook.
#3. Pick only a few good websites to research on [you can drive yourself crazy with more information than you can digest or understand]
#4. Make a good list of the practical things Pauline's suppost group can do to help out during the next months. [are there kids involved, a house to run and clean, monthly bills to be paid, a yard to mow,groceries to shop for, someone will need to be in charge of Insurance claims, etc., etc. It is a cliche, BUT it is sooo true here. When the going gets tough, the tough get going!Pauline will need all of her energies directed toward winning this fight- whatever the rest of you can do to relieve her worry and stress will go a long way in helping her. Think positive, think practical and think solutions- One step at a time. You are in a good place here at OCF. You will find lots of answers and lots of help. Amy