Scamous cell carcenoma diagnosed in 1999.never smoked didnt drink. Removoved all teeth. Surgery.radiation.9 mos later guess what? I have had 20 surgerys since then.I have a free flap. Ive had interoperative radiation. I have a gastointestinal tube. Part of Bottom lip removed. The graft isnt healing. I can barely drink water. I am not regaining my ability to speak. The scary part is the head ache on one side of my head also an ear ache. ringing in my ear. I think this may be the beggining of the last act. Does anyone know how the play ends. I havent asked my doctors about the ending. I bet someone here can give me a hint.

Gypsy, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish I had some advice to offer you to give you some comfort. I will only say that I hope you find some peace by asking your God to help you. I hope you have some family and friends to give you support, and that you have doctors who are doing everything possible to help you. You have found this forum and everyone here is very caring and supportive - do not hesitate to reach out to us.
Michele

thanks Michele, I FOUND OUT TODAY THAT THERE IS CANCER IN MY NECK. MORE SURGERY MAY 15. I DONT KNOW IF I CAN TAKE MUCH MORE. I HAVE A STRONG CHRISTIAN FAITH. THERE IS MY REFUGE. I AM HANGING AT THE END OF THE ROPE,WONDERING WHEN IT IS TIME TO LET GO. WONDERING WHAT IS INSTORE

Gypsy
Im gonna preach at you. God is your strength, but you are here on this stinkin earth that is filled with yuck. But in that yuck there is some real great things, you know this. The only way Erik and I made it through this was to look for the blessings. Every day I looked for a blessing, there were days where I kinda needed to help the blessing along,one day (I went to the pet store to look at the puppies, this one little doxie looked at me with those big brown eyes and rolled over on his back, soft tender, vulnerable, belly up. I stopped and realized that what that puppy was doing with me (trusting me) was what God wanted from me too. So get on your back and stick your belly to the sky, start looking for a blessing every day, and write it down. When this is over, however God chooses to finish this cancer, you or your loved ones will have something that will be forever cherished, seeing the things that blessed you through this journey. My blessing book has small blessings and huge ones, and on those really rotten days Erik and I could go back and read them and it did make us feel loved, and the most wonderful thing about it was that we could really really see Gods hand and all the things he was doing, and how he used this ugly cancer for beauty.
I am praying for you, and I hope somehow I brought encouragement to you tonight.
God Bless
Jennie

Dear Gypsey, you are surely being tested to the limit now. Hopefully you can decide how you want to spent each day you have left on this earth-And that may be 1000's of days- and direct your energy toward that pursuit. Wishing you peace. Amy