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#197290 10-04-2018 11:03 AM
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 345
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ConnieT Offline OP
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he made it through the rad and chemo treatments but this week.....oh my. i got a hold of a nurse without him knowing and told her what is going on which she shared with the team.

he is arguing with me about things like...we don't leave at 7:30 am. Yes, for 34 days, we have left at 7:30 am. He wanted pancakes right now from McDonalds. I said I will drive through when we get near the hospital. So we did. 3 stack and 2 milks. I said you are going to throw that up because he put this huge bite in his mouth. He hasn't eaten or hardly drank anything for over 2 months. Yep....he was so happy he could swallow it and then he threw it up immediately. Doctor told him to start with a small bite not a stack of 3 pancakes! He was sitting in the driver's seat and wanted the keys. I said no. I will not get in a car with you as you cannot have a good reaction time as a driver. I'm getting irritated at this point because I"m being challenged on everything.

I told the nurses of his history of verbal/emotional abuse and how he told me he wasn't using the feeding tube because he did not want to. He had told them yesterday to just take it out and they refused. They also told him to use that IV drip as he's losing too much weight so we will see if that happens, he's refused up to this point. They took it from there and told him to buck up and just do these things so he can recover faster. The doctor also told him no driving for a month. I"m pretty sure he is not their first stubborn patient. I talked to them afterward and they asked if they covered everything and I said yes..thank you!

My daughter hid all the vehicle keys as he took my van angrily the other day late at night and no one knew where he went to and now with him demanding the keys this morning....she also hid all his shotgun shells too. She said, he is not present mentally right now and let's just cover all the bases. He is a hunter and has lots of guns right in his bedroom. Oh boy.

I have referred to him as a belligerent 2 yr old right now. I am holding on but this stuff....well, it never crossed my mind that I would be dealing with his control issues like I"m having to do at this point.

thanks for reading.....you have been a lifeline for me!

Last edited by ConnieT; 10-04-2018 11:05 AM.

Spouse of 58 yr old with BOT cancer
Stage 4a HPV16 positive
3 chemo treatments cisplantin
35 radiation treatments 7000 cGy
former smoker/chewed tobacco for 38 yrs.
1/2020 diagnosed with cancer near TMJ
4/2020 chemo 5 days every 2 weeks
6/2020 proton therapy
9/21/2020 cancer free
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 10,507
Likes: 6
Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
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Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 10,507
Likes: 6
Connie, thats what were here for.... to help! We listen and offer our input about things we went thru ourselves. Sharing this sort of very specific medical info helps all patients and caregivers tremendously!!! Im so relieved your husband has finished his treatments!!! CONGRTAS!!!!! . Its been quite a long road for you with your "challenging" patient. While you have shared so much info with us Im certain theres many other things left unsaid. My heart goes out to both you and your husband and I wish for easier days ahead.

Best wishes!!!


Christine
SCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44
2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07
-65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr
Clear PET 1/08
4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I
surg 4/16/08 clr marg
215 HBO dives
3/09 teeth out, trismus
7/2/09 recur, Stg IV
8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy
3wks medicly inducd coma
2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit
PICC line IV antibx 8 mo
10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg
OC 3x in 3 years
very happy to be alive smile
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 345
Likes: 8
ConnieT Offline OP
Platinum Member (300+ posts)
OP Offline
Platinum Member (300+ posts)

Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 345
Likes: 8
thank you KristenS and Christine. Your support and words have meant the world to me.

Last edited by ConnieT; 10-05-2018 10:18 AM.

Spouse of 58 yr old with BOT cancer
Stage 4a HPV16 positive
3 chemo treatments cisplantin
35 radiation treatments 7000 cGy
former smoker/chewed tobacco for 38 yrs.
1/2020 diagnosed with cancer near TMJ
4/2020 chemo 5 days every 2 weeks
6/2020 proton therapy
9/21/2020 cancer free
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 51
Supporting Member (50+ posts)
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Supporting Member (50+ posts)

Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 51
Glad he is done! Hopefully things will settle down now. Keep your head up, we are here when you need support.


Diagnosed 11/17 SCC right side of tongue
Surgery 2/18 Partial Glossectomy
Radiation 3/18 - 5/18
Clear PET scan 10/18
Non smoker, occasional alcohol use

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