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#195543 - 12/28/17 04:13 AM Scared Caregiver  
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 15
trisha Offline
trisha  Offline

Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 15
Who do you talk to when you're frightened? Has anyone been caring for their loved one and started thinking, they're dying in front of me? I'm sorry I can't be more articulate, I just deal with fear every day and then there are the nightmares. Does anyone else feel they're caught in an endless trap of care giving and then crying into a pillow so your sick partner can't hear you?

trisha baker
#195546 - 12/28/17 04:23 PM Re: Scared Caregiver [Re: trisha]  
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 889
gmcraft Offline
"OCF Canuck"
gmcraft  Offline
"OCF Canuck"
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)

Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 889
Toronto, Canada

I started seeing a therapist when my husband’s cancer metastasized. I found that very helpful. It was suggested by my family doctor because she thought it would help me. Is there a counseling department at your hospital? They can be of great help too.

She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails... Elizabeth Edwards

Wife to John,dx 10/2012, BOT, HPV+, T3N2MO, RAD 70 gy,Cisplatinx2 , PEG in Dec 6, 2012, dx dvt in both legs after second chemo session, Apr 03/13 NED, July 2013 met to lungs, Phase 1 immunotherapy trial Jan 18/14 to July/14. Taxol/carboplatin July/14. Esophagus re-opened Oct 14. PEG out April 8, 2015. Phase 2 trial of Selinexor April to July 2015. At peace Jan 15, 2016.
#195547 - 12/29/17 08:01 AM Re: Scared Caregiver [Re: trisha]  
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,007
tamvonk Offline
"OCF Kiwi Down Under"
tamvonk  Offline
"OCF Kiwi Down Under"
Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)

Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,007
New Zealand
I too had some sessions with a Councellor. I cried often when not around my husband, - in the car, shower etc. I was overcome with the fear of losing him and what my life would be like as a widow.
Just talking about this to someone who was impartial helped me enormously. The Councellor made me see the whole picture, gave me options and gave me coping strategies.
We are 7 years from diagnosis now. 😀

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!

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