Hi All,
I am 36m straight, have been sick (Strep throat) 2 months ago and when opening my mouth I saw a white thing that the doctor later said its Papilloma.
I had 3 doctors tell me its nothing to worry, they say I can choose to remove it, or leave it as is and it might disappear in the future (I'm going to remove it, because I can't tolerate the thought it in my throat) but I'm here very close to a breakdown after I have seen it causes throat cancer. It made me so anxious I had a panic attack last week where I couldn't breath almost went to the ER.
The doctors didn't say its HPV specifically just that its benign, non cancerous, and one of them said its not an STD. Not sure if its to calm me down or there could be other types of it. In any case I only been with 3 women these last 2 years. 2 one night stands (Protected, some oral). One for few months but we broke up.

I have never heard of HPV up until now and google screwed me up completely. Everyone around me says I behave like I'm about to die next week. I have dropped 12pounds in a week and I can't do anything at work besides being concerned than I'm about to die and if not now, I will be scared of throat cancer for the rest of my life. I don't wanna live like that.

I have always been ultra careful about these things (Elite hypochondriac + HIV paranoid) but apparently not enough.
I doubt I'll engage at any sexual contact anytime soon even with condom. Never going to do Oral sex ever again unless I'm married. My anxiety is through the roof at the moment. This is definitely the worst episode I have had in my life. Can anyone suggest how to get out of this?

Thanks a lot, any help would be appreciated.

Welcome to OCF! Im very sorry to see you are going thru so much stress over strep throat/a papilloma. Do yourself a huge favor and RELAX!!!!! As of this moment you do NOT have cancer and the odds are you will NOT develop oral cancer in the future. I suggest you avoid Dr Google like the plague as its only fueling your anxiety. I advise you to read and educate yourself at a reputable site such as ours (OCF is Health on the Net certified) about your condition. We have lots of info about HPV as well. By educating yourself about your conditions and HPV you will learn those conditions are not the end of the world. There are far worse things patients are diagnosed with. We have many members who have very serious conditions who are out living happy, productive lives even if they have gotten a cancer diagnosis or in the middle of their treatments or recovery. Many people go thru cancer treatments and go on to live decent lives, it is not a death sentence anymore. Having cancer does not mean your life is over. That said, other non-cancerous conditions are able to be managed with very minimal side effects or impact in patients day to day life. In no way do I mean to minimize your situation, I understand its upsetting when facing unknown medical issues. If after reading about what you have has not helped, you may want to seek out some mental health professionals or anxiety meds to help you better cope with a non life threatening situation. We have many members here who do have serious medical conditions (some have been given a terminal diagnosis) where they would trade places with you without a second thought. Count yourself as a very fortunate person to be coming to our site without having cancer. Hopefully you never have to experience it! Here are some links to info that should help you learn about noncancerous lesions and HPV.

The HPV Connection

Premalignant Lesions

More detailed info including ... Histopathology, Biology and Markers

PS... Even if you would have HPV, its not the end of the world. Most of the adult population has or will develop HPV at some point in their lives. Its very common and for most it creates no negative issues! Most with HPV are able to clear it without the virus going on to cause any ill effects. There are no signs or symptoms of being HPV+. Learning more about HPV will help you to understand there are hundreds of different HPV strains. Only a very few strains can go on to cause cancer. Also just because you would have the HPV number that could cause cancer, the odds are it still will not go on to turn into cancer.