Dear all,

My name is Sarah, I'm 36 years old, and I only gave up smoking 2 weeks ago. First, I want to thank you for reading my post. I'm glad there is a support forum for this, and I never thought would stumble across a cancer supportforum, but here I am.

Last week (6 days ago) I had a biopsy of a slight discolored irregular lump on the right side of my tongue (which I have had for years, but last time I checked it, about 3 years ago, the doctor said it was a pigment spot and nothing to worry about, so I left it). But a few months ago, it started growing, and also an irregular white growth next to it appeared out of nowhere.

Since the biopsy, things have gotten so much worse, the lump in my tongue has doubled in size and grown to underneath my tongue too, it's extremely painful, (the lump was painfree before) and a new tiny painful new sore next to it has appeared as well as a red spot on the other side of my tongue. I can feel two lumps in my stiff neck, and the inside and outside of my upper lips and tongue are absolutely burning, and I'm noticing new sores and patches in my mouth.

I have lost all taste in my mouth (this happened a week before the biopsy), and my tongue was bleeding this morning.. I'm so scared it's cancer, I know I shouldn't google and I'm so angry at myself for not getting it checked again previously.

I know, I'm a big wimp, since it hasn't even been a 100% confirmed yet, but I'm shaking and can't stop crying. The surgeon last week said he wasn't worried about how it looked, but the said only biopsy can confirm. I can't believe how much worse it has gotten in a week!

Any tips at all on how to calm yourself down? Or any word of comfort?

I can barely breathe and I'm so scared of what's a head.

Thank you so much for reading.

Hi Sarah! Welcome to our group!

First please do yourself a big favor and take a deep breath and remain calm. Being upset and worrying will only make everything so much more difficult. Plus, worrying has never, ever changed a test result or helped a patient get well. Its been scientifically proven all that stress is bad for you and makes things worse. So how to stop the worrying you ask???? It takes practice but if I can control mine I know you can control yours too. Understand you are among friends here and we will do our very best to help you thru whatever life is going to throw at you. We have been thru some pretty dark days and horrible medical experiences ourselves so we completely understand what you are facing. Just knowing you arent alone in this should be of some comfort to you. I know when I first found OCF almost 10 years ago I felt so relieved that people "out there somewhere" actually seemed like they cared and that they would help me. When you find yourself "going there" and you start thinking "what if" take a couple seconds and tell yourself "ok I will only give myself 3 minutes to think about this then I must do something positive". After 3 minutes, you need to physically stand up and go do something productive and positive that will keep your attention focused on it. Maybe start a hobby, search for your heritage and ancestors, read a new book series that holds your interest, or anything else like clean out closets, walk the dog, just do anything besides sitting there worrying. With some practice start cutting back your "going there" time to only one minute a day and you will realize you really do fell so much better and more positive about your situation.

As of right this minute today you are not an oral cancer (OC) survivor or patient. Right now you have not been diagnosed with cancer so as far as you know you are healthy. Dont allow cancer to steal away your time like a thief. This is YOUR time and you can do anything you want with it. Dont waste it worrying or contemplating "what if". Go out with your friends and family and make memories, have fun, do things you always wanted to do. Just dont let the word cancer become a fear so great it paralyzes you (cancer is just a word, not a death sentence). Everyone is afraid of the unknown, every single person to varying degrees gets nervous when facing unknown territory. Dont let this fear get to you! We all have those feelings, but many dont stop to take a breath and understand YOU are the one who is in control over how you feel about things.

Your doc is correct about the biopsy being the only way to tell what the spot is. For now... "a spot is just a spot until the biopsy says its cancer". Thats one of our sayings around here. You are doing the right thing, just take it step by step and soon enough your little "spot" will be eliminated and you can get back to your regular life.

I hope Ive been able to ease your troubled mind a little bit by my suggestions. Please keep us posted on how you make out. I hope you do not need our group but you have found the very best place to help you thru OC if you get diagnosed with it. Good luck!!!