I'm curious as to about how long after a 14 hour surgery do you wake up and are alert? ( I realize that everyone is different but I'm just trying to get an idea of how long) my 73-year-old mother is saying that she's going to stay at the hospital till I wake up now I think that's a little bit absurd so I'm trying to figure out about how long it will be before I wake up.

Hmmmm? Thats not an easy one to answer with so many variables to consider. Thats a very long surgery to go thru so it must be a very intricate one with tons of teeny tiny blood vessels to connect. With that type of surgery, you may be awaken only briefly in the recovery room to make sure you are ok and then kept asleep for a couple days. Doctors do this sometimes with big surgeries for the patients comfort. Doctors also book the OR well in advance and for 14 hours that ensures it will be their OR for the day. Your doc may have an idea of the surgery being only 12 hours but saying 14 in case it runs longer than expected. Usually they dont know exactly until they get in there to take the tumor out. Dont worry! You wont remember if you are woken up in the recovery room. Your doc could have you awake right away. I would talk to your doc for more details about this to find out how he usually handles this type of major surgery. Thats a very long day for your mother. Its so sweet she wants to be there for you.

Make sure your mother understands you are going to have swelling and be uncomfortable so you may not be up for visitors. You probably will have some drains and be on strong pain meds. Patients dont always look the best coming out of surgery. As far as the pain meds go... ask your doc for 2 different ones to be an option to you so you can be sure they are always working. Sometimes pain can be pretty bad and you will have to wait until its the right time for your next dose. That can feel like its forever when you are hurting. If you have another medicine as an option you can switch off and on so your pain is always managed. If you havent talked to your doc about this, make sure you do before your surgery.

Theres a couple other things you may want to get set up before your surgery. Talk to your doc about if you will be able to speak during your hospital stay. If so, ask for a possey muir valve trach. This is a much easier type of trach to operate. It allows for hands free talking. It may be several days before you can talk. An ipad with an app called Speak It is a huge help too. You might want to play around with this now so you are familiar with using it before you need to depend on it. Its also a good idea to have someone stay with you as much as possible while you are in the hospital. This person can run interference with the hospital staff. You may be sleeping alot the first few days but hospital staff will still be in and out of your room 24/7. Unfortunately not all staff stop to read the signs they put on the patient room doors about patients who could fall or arent able to talk, special diet, etc. I used to get 3 trays a day of meals even though I told them every time I couldnt eat, they never changed it and still brought food. Such a waste!

Best wishes with your upcoming tumor board meeting. Are you going to it?

I agree with what Christine said!

I had a Segmental mandibularectemy with a fibula free flap last September on a Friday morning, and briefly recall being in recovery after surgery trying to answer some nursing questions, but had a trache, and couldn't. I thought they would have erasure boards as I asked prior to surgery. I may have scribbled some words on paper, shook my head to questions like a charades game. The next thing I was in the "Step Down Unit", but it was Sunday, so I was out of it since that Friday or whenever since I don't recall much.

Communicating was difficult! I was not given any erasure boards until I asked, which may later be moved out of reach or misplaced for you to use. I had iSpeak on my iPhone, but my vision was basically too gone from medications to operate it. Maybe that Monday my surgeon said, I believe, when the swelling went down, the hands free speaking valve would be placed, and was. It may have been done after the nasal tube was removed too. That made communicating so much better!

I was in the hospital Step Down Unit, my doctors didn't like to put you in ICU, for 6 days, and was alone that whole time. No so called family, friends were with me, visited or were there after surgery, so it can be done, but more attention is always given to those patients that have family with them, who can help communicate, in my opinion

Before discharge, the speaking valve was removed, so had to resort back to pressing my throat with a folded gauze pad, and went to a nursing rehab center for the next two months. I have other prior heath issues from the prior cancer, plus some of my ribs, chest vein, and artery were removed for this surgery, so I would have needed too much care than my 80 year old mother who lives alone with me could provide. This time, I hired my mothers aide to stay with me for a few hours each day, cash, after her day hours at my home. Best thing I did! Communication was still difficult since it took the stoma, which was about the size of a quarter, a month to finally close due to prior radiation. Rehab or nursing home is another story....

Good luck with everything

Let your mom do what she wants! It's not as if she will be able to concentrate on anything else while this surgery and initial recovery is happening anyways - it's just as scary for her as it is for you. Being there will let her be in on the status updates that much quicker. Make sure she knows it's ok with you if she goes away for a rest whenever she needs it and feels comfortable enough to do so.

I only had about an 8 hour surgery, but I certainly wasn't able to communicate for a long while after I woke up. I was groggy, disoriented and frankly not sure how much I could move around without yanking something important out, because I was connected to so much stuff (trach had an oxygen tube connected to it, I had a feeding tube down my nose, an IV, a monitor clipped to a finger or toe, a catheter, a huge amount of gauze and wrapping over my wrist, and a stupid cardboard French fry container looking thing taped over my thigh where they took the skin to replace the forearm flap skin).

It would be nice to have your mom there once you're out of surgery and in a recovery area or step-down unit to bring you a dry-erase board with marker and a rag to erase, or something else to help communicate your needs. I recommend this item over an iPad because of theft concerns, and over a pen & paper because I found the nurses just took my pen with them after borrowing it, leaving me with nothing to write with until my sister brought me the dry erase board. If theft isn't a concern at your hospital, the iPad is probably a better option.

I agree with Vanpaddler that it may be important to your Mom to be by your side. If not, she will probably end up worrying by herself at home. However, I would suggest letting her know you will be attached to drips and machines and stuff so she doesn't get a shock when you come out of the OR.

I didn't know I could attend! How do I invite myself? Do you think my presents could be a positive or negative influence on the outcome?

I have 3 different sized white boards, a box for the markers and dry eraser, the big one will be a reminder to me to do my exercises and to place pillows under my arms to prevent post op lymphadema issues. (I saw this on OCF under a thread called I wish I knew). The med sized white board is thin and easier to hold with one hand. The tiny board is for my visitors to play with or color.

When my grandmother was in the hospital with a broken hip I placed a journal next to her bed and every time we took turns to sit with her we would jot down our thoughts abs experiences while we were there at the hospital and note any type of issues that came up related to healthcare. Often times we would also recall memories with her and we journaled our stories. The simplest idea became a beautiful book with so many memories and information related to her care.

My Mom is a young 73 yo women and has the energy of a 25 year old. I actually have a 2 year old brother! That's right folks I know it's hard to believe but my Mom adopted him.

I just know she is going to wear herself out waiting until I wake up. I've also imagined that I wake up and the nurse tells me it's 2030. 😳 Then I'd look around the room 👀 For my son the comedian who has been insrment helping to keep my spirits up!!

What else do I need to do with surgery a week away? Do we need to buy tube feeding nutrition?