Welcome to OCF, Carol! You have found the very best source for info and support. We will help you both get thru the treatments and recovery phases.
My suggestion would be to go to a major comprehensive cancer center (CCC) for the very least a second opinion. Maybe that would help to ease your mind. Here is a link that will give you a list of cancer centers. Find the very best medical care you can and go with it.
For right now your husband should focus on eating all their favorite foods. His sense of taste and ability to swallow may make eating difficult for a while so eat now. Dont worry about gaining weight, eat everything and have dessert too. Most patients undergo substantial weight loss during their treatments so bulking up is a good plan.
You will have many appointments prior to any treatments. If having radiation treatments, the following is very important. Make sure to have a full blood workup done including testosterone and thyroid levels. Get a thorough dental check up and take care of any questionable teeth, get flouride trays made.
Anyone you talk to about your husbands condition who offers their assistance, tell them when the time comes you will let them know how they can help. Make sure you make a list of everyone with their contact info. This could come in handy down the road.
I suggest you read posts on the forum and educate yourself about whats to come. Towards the center of the top of the page, look for and click on the tiny flashing envelope thats next to the My Stuff tab. This will take you to your private messages (PM). Take some time to review the link in the PM Ive sent you. It gives lots of tips on how to navigate the forum and instructions on how to add a signature. The signature is a very important step, it helps us to help you so please complete it asap.
As a caregiver you have your hands full. Make sure to take some time to be good to yourself. We are here to support not just your husband but you too. We understand just how hard it is for both of you. Stick with us and we will help you both thru everything.
NCI Cancer Centers