My husband has stage 4 throat and neck cancer HPV. He has finished his chemo and radiation 8 weeks ago. He will not try to eat at all. The docs all say he can but he won't. When does the feeding tube stop? Why won't he at least try a little bit. I am so exhausted and frustrated. I'm sure he is also.

Has he said anything about not being able to get anything down? You can start by giving him two of three teaspoons of coffee/tea. Then see how it goes. Sometimes after a couple of days, what he has drunk may come back up -- that would be a sign he cannot yet swallow. It could be a matter of confidence or it could be the scarring in the throat as a result of the radiation is now making swallowing difficult. It could also be the area in the throat is still swollen from the radiation e.g. the epiglottis). Sometimes doctors will say "The best way to improve your swallowing is by swallowing everyday." But this is not necessarily true. Your husband may need a barium swallowing test which will show on x Ray what happens when he attempts to swallow. That's the only way to know for sure.

Whatever the case may be, make sure he does his swallowing exercises every day. Mother will keep his swallowing muscles in shape.

Welcome to OCF! You will find lots of info and support to help you with your husbands recovery.

At only 8 weeks post rads your husband has only just started to recover. A complete recovery takes up to 2 full years after going thru rads and chemo. Im sure he must have lost his sense of taste and anything he would try tastes absolutely awful. During the first few months post rads the sense of taste slowly returns. But what you think something should taste like it doesnt, even water can taste horrible. You husband probably has an extremely sore throat and some mouth sores still from the rads and chemo. These can take a very long time to heal.

At about 2 months post rads he is probably well past the thick mucous and now in the "dry mouth" phase where he should be taking tiny sips of water all thru out the day and night. His tongue will stick to the roof of his mouth and his throat and mouth will get so dry he isnt able to talk or swallow.

A patient who uses a feeding tube and does not continue to swallow every single day of their treatment will have swallowing difficulties, making it very dangerous to attempt. The muscles used to swallow quickly forget how to function when not used, even for only a short period of time. This could be another reason why your husband isnt trying to eat and drink. Ask the doc about a barium swallow test and if he can see a speech pathologist to help him relearn how to eat.

The feeding tube for most patients is just a temporary tool used to get thru some of the most difficult days of the patients life. It takes going without using the feeding tube for at minimum one month without weight loss before a good doctor will remove it. During recovery your husband needs higher calories to help rebuild his body. The minimum of 2500 calories is necessary for at least the first year after finishing rads. Water intake daily should be between 48 and 64 oz. I know it sounds like alot but after what his body has been thru it needs extra fuel to bounce back. A diet with higher protein during the recovery phase can help to speed the healing. Many here have found success with smoothies and shakes with some high protein whey powder added. Check with the doc or nutritionist before making any major dietary changes.

The worst of this is behind you both. Take a deep breath and please remember recover is a very long process that cant be rushed. Rads w/ chemo (or even without it) can really do a number on OC patients. After what he has been thru Im sure he cant get better fast enough.

As a caregiver, I know this has been difficult for you as well. Being a caregiver is a tireless, thankless job full of stress and way too much on your shoulders. Try to take some breaks and make time to do something you enjoy at least once a week. Go out to lunch with some friends, see a movie, get a pedicure or manicure or even just go for a nice long walk or scenic car ride by yourself. Everything will get better, it just takes time. For most of us... WAAAYYYY to much time!

Good luck


PS... Sorry, I actually got typing and forgot to address your concern before I ended the reply. I would guess most patients after going thru rads and chemo will continue to use and need their feeding tube thru at least the first 6 months. I think I was able to finally get mine removed at about 10 months post rads. Just remember everyone is different, some will be ok 4 months post rads while others take over a year before they are eating well enough to be free of the tube.

Thankyou so much for all your input Christine and Gloria. I had no idea it would take so long to recover. He is suppose to go back to work in a month but I don't think that's going to happen. Cancer was not in our plan. This is a real problem not only for his health but also for our financial stability. I will have to figure it all out. Thank you again though.

Im sorry if I brought any anxiety on by explaining everything in so much detail. All too often patients are not told they can have an extended recovery period and arent prepared. Im sure this is weighing heavily on your husbands mind as well putting even more unneeded stress on the fragile patient. Its sad but risk depression runs high in OC patients, many (and their caregivers too) need anxiety meds to get past the treatments and recovery.

I just thought of another thing to check on, your husbands thyroid levels. Many of us will need a tiny pill for the rest of our lives to help balance our thyroids after rads. Its really not a big deal but it can make you feel pretty crappy. Men can also have their testosterone levels messed with so that should be checked too after rads. For my thyroid it didnt show up until about 4 years after my rads ended so keep your eyes open for your husband to be extra tired. After chemo and rads it takes months, maybe in some years to resume back to their normal levels.

I understand how financial strain can hurt cancer patients. In another month your husband could be so much better. Remember its still early in his recovery. Focus on whats within your control... his intake. By making certain your husband is getting at least 2500 calories and 48-64 oz of water daily will greatly help the recovery process. Adding high protein whey powder to his feedings will boost the daily protein intake to help with healing.

Here is a list of places you may receive some financial help. Not all of these places operate all over the country but it doesnt hurt to check each one out. I always say ... "you dont get if you dont ask." Hopefully you will have some success with the list.

OCF main pages... Financial Assistance


Heres another list that might be helpful to your husband. The foods are milder and easier to swallow for patients extra sensitive tastes and sore mouths. I also used to drink a couple of these milkshakes a day getting way over 5000 calories daily. During the recovery phase patients have trouble gaining weight even with that high of an intake. So dont fret if your husband takes in 3000 or 4000 calories daily, he needs it.


Easy to Eat Food List

(All measurements are estimates)

Giant High Calorie Choc-Peanut Butter Milkshake (1200++ calories per shake)

3 or 4 cups chocolate ice cream (regular/full fat type)
2 tablespoons peanut butter (smooth type)
2 tablespoons chocolate syrup
1 or 2 cups whole milk (can substitute half and half to add even more calories)
1 scoop carnation instant breakfast
1 scoop high protein whey powder (check with doc if this is ok)

Blend this extra long to make it very smooth and creamy so it goes down easier. If the shake is too thick, add more milk to thin it down to what works best for you.

Hope this helps!!! Please stick with us and stop by often, we will help you both get past this bump. Good luck!!!

Hi Kristerell,
I did start eating about 3-4 weeks after treatment. I had actually stopped swallowing and drinking water which is bad. It was so incredibly hard to begin swallowing water again and even harder to eat. I cant explain how hard it was. I didnt want it, it tasted horrible, my mouth was so dry, it was scary to swallow things. I started out with 3 bites per meal and then had my tube feeding. Gradually progressed. I really really wanted to go to work so that was motivation. See if your husband will agree to just 3 bites per meal. I had an awesome speech therapist. Maybe he could see one to help with the anxiety and give him some tips to safely start with. Best wishes.

Thanks to all the above posters for this now one-month-old thread; hopefully things are better. I am now 6 weeks post-chemo/rad for a T4N2bM0 HPV+ cancer at the tongue base. I had psyched myself up for the treatment and "a few weeks of worsening" afterwards, but as of today still really sore to swallow and swallowing isn't perfect, things get "stuck" still. The day-to-day ups and downs of symptoms mask overall gradual progress, so discouragement can become a huge issue. Thanks to all of you sharing your stories, I can buckle down and get through this.
My rad oncologist has been frank about everything, even to the point of telling me "this treatment is the worst thing we do to people"; despite that, and this forum's info, I cannot say I was "ready" for these side effects, nor could I have been.

If still having difficulties, point out to your husband how much courage he has already displayed, and tell him he'll need just a little bit more.

"If you are going through Hell, keep going; it's no place to stop"

The above (and variations) has been, probably incorrectly, attributed to Winston Churchill. But it's true.