Hello Kazzakirk

I am hear to give you first hand advise. My mother just passed away April 22,2015 6 days ago. My mothers cancer spread into her throat and neck. The cancer ate through her skin on her neck and created an open wound. Last week she went into severe pain that her pain meds. would not help. We went to the ER. She stayed there for a week and was hooked to a Morphine pump. The pump was automatic every 5 minutes. Every 3 hours I had to give her adivan which is a nerve med. I brought my mother home with this Morphine pump and the doctor set up hospice to come to the house. My mom was most comfortable at home.

After being home for a week the UNTHINKABLE happened. Yes the Carotid Artery blew out.
I herd my mom cough and I went to help . I noticed blood coming through her mouth as she coughed again. I knew what was happening because the doctors told me to expect this. I called 911 emergency but within a minute or two my mom was gone. I'd say in less than a minute my mom was unconscious . I don't think she realized what exactly was happening. I am at peace with that.
Yes get some dark towels and linen it helps.
Give him a cough supressent so he doesn't cough much as it could cause a blow out.
I hope I don't scare anyone. I am just trying to prepare you for the worst.

In my moms case her artery blew out and it happened so fast. Sometimes it can start to leak and you have time to react. The doctor told me to apply pressure pressure pressure as hard as I can until help arrives but it was to much to stop.
I am at peace because it did happen very fast and my mom did not suffer.


Heidi

Heidi, thank you for sharing that. You did exactly what was being asked, provided first-hand experiential knowledge as a caregiver. It takes a lot of strength to be able to succinctly and rationally portray what you lived through.

My mother had an aortic rupture as her metastatic ovarian cancer ate through the esophagus and then aorta. While it was expected, the medical team had not explained what would happen. It was quick, but the surprise element was very difficult.

While it may not be the easiest thing, gaining insight and being somewhat prepared is invaluable.

Cantbelieve, Im so very sorry reading your post!

To answer your question... Yes, this really can happen. Ive talked with several spouses who experienced this. It is a horrifying event to go thru. I wish I could write something positive about this but there is not anything good I can say. Listen to the doctors and get the dark towels and sheets.

Heidi, thank you for explaining in detail what you went thru with your mother. Thankfully it was quick. This is not always the case, it can take 10 or more minutes. At that time its like an eternity to see someone you love go thru this and also like lightening to lose your loved one.

Wishing you all the very best with this difficult path you are traveling.

(((HUGS)))

It was a dramatic experience no doubt. It takes a lot in me to even talk about it. I feel if I can help someone in the same position it makes me feel better about it. I am relieved that it did happen fast in my moms case because if it would have taken any longer I don't know if I could have handled it. Those few minutes did feel like an eternity. The emergency unit and police were at my house in about 5 minutes and took control of the situation and that also was a big help.

Cantbelieve: I agree it wouldn't be a good idea to have this happen in front of a 5 year old child. I was checking into hospice hospitals myself during the time of this happening but it happened before I found the rite place my mom would have been comfortable in.


Heidi

Heidi,

I can't image the courage it took to post such intimate details. Even though it has to be the most intense moments in your lives, it is with great thanks that you did post this event for us here.

Cancer is a brutal disease and having this insight helps us all, survivors and relatives, cope with such a day should it become part of our story.

Thank you again for your bravery.
Don

Don

Yes this cancer is very brutal. I have been crying my eyes out everyday and night since my moms passing. Its been such a battle for my poor mother and having her go the way she did really has me so upset.

When Caintbeleive posted for advice I was hesitant to respond. But I felt I just had to post what had happened. At least it may prepare others in the same situation . Some readers may feel I shouldn't have post what happened to my mom and if so I am very sorry if I offended anyone.

Please everyone Please be strong and keep your battle going. This was my mothers case and does not happen to the majority of Oral Cancer Patients. You can be a survivor.

Heidi

I'm glad you responded, Heidi, and hope it has given you a little bit of relief to talk about it. I believe it is better to know what happens instead of having it shrouded in mystery.

I hope you are getting lots of support right now. Not only do you have the grief but also the exhaustion after months of fighting for your mother. I send you supportive thoughts from all the way down here in New Zealand.

Take care of yourself.
Maureen

As a caregiver, I would like to know what may happen down the road too. So thanks for sharing Heidi, it couldn't have been easy for you.

Maureen, your post is right on and so very kind.

Heidi,

Thank you sharing your experiences - I know it wasn't easy for you.

I was the caregiver and decision maker for my mother who had Alzheimer's and a number of other health issues. Towards the end she "forgot" how to swallow, which is a problem with many oral cancer patients, and the issue of tube-feeding came up. My father went thru a similar health decline, while my mother was still in good health. Over the years I had some honest conversations with my parents on end-of-life issues and I understood their position (they both had living wills stating their wishes). I worked with the hospice staff who were great with counseling me through this difficult process, and they were very honest with describing what my mother was going through. It was difficult to watch, but the knowledge of what was physically happening was extremely helpful. The unknown is far more frightening.

So thank you again for sharing this, and I also send you supportive thoughts and prayers. You will always miss your mother, but in time you will forget the last few months and remember all the wonderful years you had her in your life.

I have not been on this site for awhile and I hope you have not experienced this. If you do I agree with above that you should have dark towels on hand. I didn't know about this as we were not expecting Ken to bleed out. I had emailed with another wife who ended up going though this. The Dr. had also given her extra medication so if/when the time came she could administer it to her husband so he would not suffer as much. I would definitely suggest not having your daughter see this if it were to happen. I do have PTSD whenever I see blood - hard for me to watch shows like Grey's Anatomy any more. If I can be of any other help please feel free to PM me.