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#187963 01-27-2015 06:58 PM
Joined: Dec 2014
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Posts: 13
One of the most inspirational things on this horrific journey my husband has had to endure is the ways in which friends, neighbors and strangers have cared for us.

Please share the special ways in which someone has touched you? I'll start.....

Cleaning closets and selling things because we need to sell the house. frown Posting things online to sell. A buyer didn't come when she said she did, and when I emailed her, her reason was "Sorry! Chemo brain!" I emailed back that I certainly get it, hubby has chemo brain too. She showed up to pick up the item and handed me a gift certificate for a free housecleaning. Someone had given it to her, and she already has a cleaner, so she passed it along. With listing the house staring me right in the face, it couldn't have been more welcome. Needless to say, I let her have my sale goods for free! The kindness of strangers.....

While my kids may roll their eyes every time I put a lasagna on the table, I am especially thankful for all the meals that saved me shopping and cooking. One friend's delivery always includes paper plates, bottled water, napkins, etc. so I don't have to do a THING! And WINE (for me)....

At a recent doctor's visit, the doctor was complimenting my husband on how well he is doing. He pulled a gold coin out of his pocket that I'd seen on his dresser but didn't know the story which he told to the doctor. Our neighbor is a high ranking special ops guy in the armed forces and these coins are awarded to those who have endured "above and beyond". My neighbor gave it to my husband and unbeknownst to me, he's had it in his pocket for every treatment. When I told my neighbor, this big lunk of a badass cried.

A rotating cast of characters drives my husband to his daily radiation treatments. Saves me the time off work, and on my one day off of work, gives me the chance to blitz the "sick room" with a frenzied cleaning. As horrible as my husband feels, I know the daily contact with non-family members forces him to shower, dress, be civil, and hear news of the "outside world" and stay connected. On the surface, he really doesn't "like" it, but in the long run, it's good for him and I'm grateful to this army of drivers.

OK - Your turn! Tell us a story that touched you!


Wife to patient with poorly differentiated, non-keratinized, squamous cell carcinoma in one tonsil. Stage 4. T2N2 with metastisation to three lymph nodes of the left neck.
Dx Nov '14
Tonsillectomy and neck dissection Nov '14
Chemo (cisplatin) & radiation started 12/10/14
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 87
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Wow, I have plenty to be thankful for. The amount of people that offered help to me right after the surgery, was overwhelming. There was more help if I needed it during radiation treatments but I didn't really need anything by then. Although I really enjoyed visiting my sister on her workdays - we'd go for coffee quite often. It's something I don't get a chance to do because she works in a different part of the city than I do, and we live more than an hour apart, so it was really nice to see more of her.

My sister & brother-in-law stayed at my place for a few days while I was in the hospital, and gave my apartment a thorough cleaning, going so far as to scrub the bathtub & wall tiles, steam cleaning carpet, making the kitchen spotless, etc.

One friend drove me to my 5:45 am surgery and picked me up from the hospital when they released me, even though it would have only been a $10 cab ride.

And of course my entire dragonboat team took some photos while they were all together at a fitness boot camp session, holding inspirational or funny captions up on pieces of paper. They printed the photos & brought them to me while I was still in the hospital, in a mini photo album.

One of the paddlers on my team used to be a chef, so he made four different types of homemade soup, portioned them out into empty 500 mL yogurt containers and brought them over, along with a schwack of cut-up fresh vegetables that I could put through my juicer. Very welcome when I just got out of the hospital and was just starting to be able to handle solid (but soft) foods.

Also the the endless line of visitors, mountain of text messages, emails, phone calls once people figured out I could actually speak, etc.


Dx 2014Jan29 (42 yr old otherwise fit nonsmoker)
SCC tongue stage III T3N0M0
subtotal glossectomy, partial neck dissection, RFFF, trach, NG tube 2014Feb25 16 days in hospital
RAD 25 zaps 2014May5-2014Jun9
Back to work, paddling & hiking shortly afterwards
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 945
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Very important to me was one very dear friend forcing me to meet her out for lunch near the end of my husband's treatment. It was at The Cheesecake Factory. It was kind of surreal being in a nice place instead of Cancer World. Funny how a much a little thing like lunch can mean.
Maria


CG to husband - SCC Tonsil T1N2M0 HPV+ Never Smoker
First symptoms 7/2010, DX 12/2010
TX 40 IRMT (1.8 gy) + 10 Cetuximab
PET Scans 6/2011 + 3/2012 clear, 5 year physical exam clear; chest CT's clear of cancer. On thyroid pills. Life is good.
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 644
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"OCF Down Under, Kiwi"
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I think about this a lot. I'm not a greatly social person but each time I've had cancer the right number of people have turned up to help out ... mainly just friendship and someone to talk to. Another biggie was the 6 weeks of transport to radiation treatments. I was nervous about relying on the wonderful volunteer drivers and had a number of offers for lifts but it often meant people taking time off work. In the end I had the vol drivers for almost half the time, a friend stayed for a week and my eldest son worked from home at my place for a week. That working from home if you're in an IT based job has been very useful for me because during my two surgeries and their aftermath I had my youngest son who lives in the UK stay with me for 6 weeks and work from home. He worked very hard but was always there to drive me wherever I needed to go and make me mango lassis, something I craved while in hospital.
My most recent cancer treatment was my first without a spouse/partner for support. It's very hard going through it all alone with no-one constantly at hand to bounce ideas off if you've got a concern, drive you to the hospital or make you a cup of tea. But I got through it, thanks to support and now want to give back. I won't apply to be a volunteer driver though because I fear driving in the city!


1996, ovarian cancer surgery + cisplatin and taxol.
September, 2007, SCC of left lateral tongue. Excision.
October, 2009 recurrence in scar tissue, T1NOMO. Free flap surgery from left wrist - neck dissection. 63 year old New Zealander. No chemo, no RT.
February, 2014. New primary in left buccal mucosa. Marginal mandibulectomy, neck dissection, right arm free forearm flap. T1N0M0 but third occurrence and some areas of concern: RT started 8 April and finished 19 May.
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 2,671
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Before I found OCF - there were several times where others lifted me up during some of our darkest days after my son's diagnosis of OC. For me, some of the smallest things happened in the Radiation Waiting area and meant so much more to me than I'm sure anyone realized. There was the Cookie Lady who brought cookies every day. And took the time to talk to everyone. There was the Hug Lady that came by to give anyone a hug that needed it. I was too shy to go get me a hug but I still was comforted knowing she cared about us. And one day someone brought a beautiful Collie dog who sat a few feet away from me, waiting for anyone who might want to pet her. When she caught my eye and I smiled, she came slowly over to me and sat next to me so I could pet her. I've never been "dog" person, but that day, that beautiful Collie gave me a few seconds of peace and comfort. Best of all though, was the young man my son had been talking to in the Rad room waiting area. After my son's name was called and he left for his TX, the young man and I continued to talk a little, and then it was his turn to go get "zapped" but as he got up and passed my chair, he bent over and said to me, "go to Oral Cancer Foundation dot org - they will help". So I did, and they did!


Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)



Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 13
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Wow, these stories are great! I just love how good and kind people can be in so many ways!

The most useful food delivery? HAM!! So far, I've been gifted two hams, and I love it! You can serve it hot or cold, for breakfast, lunch or dinner, and it lasts forever in the fridge!


Wife to patient with poorly differentiated, non-keratinized, squamous cell carcinoma in one tonsil. Stage 4. T2N2 with metastisation to three lymph nodes of the left neck.
Dx Nov '14
Tonsillectomy and neck dissection Nov '14
Chemo (cisplatin) & radiation started 12/10/14
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 29
Contributing Member (25+ posts)
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Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 29
Aw, your stories warm my heart!!!

I exercise with a church group. On Fridays we pray and then go to coffee. They get an update from me, and I get prayers and good vibes from them.
I got two Starbucks gift cards for Christmas from two of the ladies in the group.

One of my friends took me to lunch for my birthday. I really appreciated that she took time of her busy schedule to be with me.

I'm very very grateful for my best friends. They have been and continue to be there for me, and their love pours onto my husband.

Both my husband and I are still fairly active in our different ways, and for that I'm thankful!!!!

Thanks for allowing me to count my blessings,
Patty




Patty / husband Dx with Stage 1 SCC
November '12, BOT ulcer
June '13, first biopsy-negative.
October '13, second biopsy-positive
November '13, second opinion at CCC, T1
December '13, partial glossectomy.
September '14, biopsy on lymph nodes, 1 tested positive.
October '14, right side neck dissection. 14 nods out, with only one affected.
November '14, T1N1M0 radiation in the recommended by oncologist
December '14, radiation treatment


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