you are doing terrific. Do take his advice. I know a few people who've been radiated 4 or 5 times. So it is possible depending on location and amount you've already received. As for the new cancer idea... not necessarily. As cancer moves it can change - my tongue was well differentiated, my nodes were well to moderate. Hugs and best of luck, and the drive definitely sucks!!! ;(

And, here's an update, almost 2 months out of surgery. Talk about hitting a plateau.

Still having quite a bit of saliva, but now the new thing is thiker phlegm, kind of starts back of the throat,. buids unti I sort of combination cough a d hack it up. Thick dark brown goopy suff, sometimes fleks of blood. Couple nights ago actually a good sized blood clot. Dont' think it's coming from my lungs, not that deep of a cough. Isn't constant, comes and goes but when it starts I cough something up about every half hour. Very annoying. Got part of my throat huring a bit too. Jus5t saw the ENT at the beginning of the month, he looked inside the mouth and didn't see anything. See him agaian beginning of next months, will ask him to do the scope down the nose to check the back of the throat. How long does this saliva/mucous stage last anyway? Getting tired of this real quick makies sleeping difficult,

Stitches have healed up well finally, luckily the scar on my chin isn't real noticable, wear a goatee and you really can't see it. Of course I have to hit the beard with a little "Just for Men" to darken thte grey., My hair is stil mostly brown with just a little grey,, but my beard is total white. A llot of the swelling has gone down, but still swollen under right side of jaw, but that's starting to go down.

Saw radiation oncologist, his feeling is since I've already had radiation twice, the risk of additional radiation at this time was greater than the reward, did not reccomend radiation.

And off for the swallow study tomorrow, hopefully all goes well with that. a bit nervous, as my wife is not taking this good at all, and if I don't pass the swallow test she'll go ballistic.

And that's another problem,. my wife has been totally non-participating in my care since i got home. Basicaly feels like her life is ruined. Sort of acting like she'd rather either she went away until I was "healed up" or I went away, so she doesn't have to deal whith the sight and sound of my being sick. So, lets just say no support from her., other than pressure to "get better" Leads to depression on my part, not a good thing. And if I say anything about being depressed... well that starts a whole nother round of trouble.

So, lets just say I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Is the phlegm the result of saliva not moving down into the esophagus? When John was not swallowing, that was a major problem. The saliva would collect at the bottom of the throat, thicken and he would have to cough it up.
Good luck on the swallowing test!

I'm sorry you don't have the support you should have. I can't imagine - my husband was supportive to the best of his ability - but I'm very independent - if I needed something he was there, but I didn't ask a lot other than to take care of the house to some degree (we were doing a major reno in the middle of my treatment). I'm hoping it's denial not insensitivity that's causing her behavior. Maybe realizing that this time it is more dire and there is the possibility of losing you. In order to deal with that idea some people have to distance themselves. Only you would know this for sure as you know her. I do have to say that it simply can't be good for you to feel the way you do. I would let her know how it makes you feel. Don't hide it, it only makes matters worse.

If she still doesn't get it, or is just seriously insensitive... well then I'd give her an earful - because frankly she deserves it. Plus ultimately it will make you feel a little better to get it off your chest.

Is there someone else around available to help you ?

hugs.

I agree with Cheryl. Tell her how you feel. I think she is in denial about the situation and is trying to protect herself from the whole issue. I get that. She sounds terrified about the whole process and prognosis and doesnt want to deal with it. Maybe she is scared of losing you. But , you do need to talk about this. Both of you do. I would expect a Spouse to be there and to be supportive. You need her to be your rock. Tell her that.
Thinking of you, Tammy

Bob, I have had that thick goo for 6 years now and it even chokes me when I sleep which shuts off breathing. It has been the hardest thing to manage, by far. I hack blood, sometimes by the mouthful, and have for 6 years. It worried me long ago but it's just life now.

My wife walked away from "the patient" about 5 years ago, but started withdrawing as soon as she heard the words, "No treatment, not reversable, no cure." I try to empathize but it is tough at times. Hopefully, this will be behind you soon. From our eyes, the world didn't really change. Seeing the angst and tears from those I know is a constant reminder that I have radically changed in appearance.

Hang in there, it may take some more time.

Best wishes always.

Sorry to hear that you have the phlegm/mucous problem. Something I haven't really experienced. Hope the surgeon can throw some light on it or give you some treatment when you see him.

I feel a tiny twinge of envy about the beard. My chin scar which was meant to be "barely perceptible" after a year has become a deep grove.

It's really hard without full support from a partner. I've had cancer 4 times and after the first biggie, my husband seemed to withdraw into himself. He was still there to do basic chores like drive me to treatment or make me a cup of tea, but he didn't take any interest in the medical detail and was sort of distant. I knew he wouldn't be able to cope with it.

Don't let depression get hold of you. Tell the doctor. You seem to be doing well overall.

I wish you well!!!

JetAgeHobo, do you by chance remember 10 years or so ago and I used to tell people to imagine Crystal Gayle singing "Don't it make your brown goo clear?"

The goo traps dead tissue, bacteria and fungus and carries it out. When it is brown, it is because it has sloughed mucus membrane. Once that resolves, it will turn clear and may slow down. It is the body's defense to protect the mucus membrane.

You are in recovery and on the mends. The phlegm thing will get sorted, one way or another. Please seek support from the local cancer support network. Ask your oncologist for support groups. You may have to travel a bit from where you are to SB but the it would be really worthwhile for you.

Also, do not let the depression take hold. You can get some meds and therapy for that now. The drought is a great thing as there are many nice warm and dry days. Get out and get on a walking trail or even a stroll downtown. Don't let yourself get cooped up. Your mental health need care as much as your physical health. Don

Thanks for the thoughts. Had a talk with my wife a couple nights ago, basically told her yeah, I understand how she feels about wishing things would get back to normal and such. She's also going through a bit of a cultural thing, all her friends back in China have families, a couple of houses, successful and such and again we're living a bit day to day. Don't know if any of you have caught the new TV sitcom "Fresh Off the Boat," but the wife in the sitcom could be my wife, easy. Anyway, told her yeah, it's OK to feel bad, but NOT OK to make me feel like Sh**t about it.Last night my wife seemed more apologetic, realized to not take it out on me, see how long that lasts before another meltdown. We have mutual friends at work (she was working as my assistant in the company we work at, we really are one of those unusual couples that can work closely together) she may have talked to them about it and got a verbal butt kicking from them also. Have appointments set up with nutritionist next week, later medical oncologist, the ENT at UCLA, and soon hopefully a speech pathologist.

And what didn't help matters was the swallow study on Tuesday. Not sure what I expected, maybe pass with flying colors and be told it was OK to go out and eat whatever, but that wasn't the case. Started out with a small amount of thin barium liquid, did OK. Then about a tablespoon, doc wanted me to drink all at once, did better with that, I guess good enough to graduate to a paper cup. I guess doc wanted me to be able to drink the paper cup's worth, sort of tilt up and glug, glug, glug. That wasn't going to happen for sure. Or maybe I was trying to rush it, but didn't work out. Don't think I aspirated anything, but it didn't feel right. Doc showed me the maneuver to help keep the liquid from going down the wrong pipe, not sure what it's called, it did help. Anyway, we stopped there, he's referring me to yet another ENT at UCLA, this one specializes in swallowing disorders. Ok to drink thin liquids, in the meantime see this other ENT and see what he says.

We were a bit disappointment, but I'm like this is the same as maybe having your leg amputated and getting a prosthetic leg, and having to learn to walk all over again. Basically an artificial tongue, need to learn how to eat with it all over again.

And so it goes, stamina is still not there, about 40% maybe. Frustrating, I was pretty active for my age before this, cycling maybe 70 miles a week, etc. Not been on a bike since the surgery. Have been making sure I walk at least a mile a day, unlike the rest of the country we're experiencing temps in the high 70's low 80's. Getting out side is imperative around here.

And so it goes. Doc has set my tentative back to work date mid June, I thought I could push it up to mid April. Not so sure about that now, see how it goes though.