My husband will have his last rad tx tomorrow, if he actually makes it in these last 2 days. He has become depressed and convinced he is going to die in the next 2 years. He refuses to see his medical doctor (who he loves) or take any antidepressants (in all fairness, he has had serious significant reactions to medications in the past, so he is hesitant to try anything new). We discussed depression early on as his med onc mentioned that this not uncommon late in treatment. In anyone's experience, does this tend to be temporary? Do you think it is more serious? How hard should I push?
Treatment side effects are worsening by the day, with skin burns and pain. He is still eating some- not using the PEG.
He's had his ups and downs, but I'm not sure where to go with this.

Im sorry to read about the struggles your husband is going thru. This is very common with OC patients. Some have a difficult time moving past the horrors of being diagnosed and treatments. Its common for patients to have PTSD as well as depression.

For the burns, several times a day, pat on a thick cream like aquaphor and let it soak in. There are many over the counter creams as well as prescription ones that will do the job. Never apply before going to treatment but immediately afterwards, pat it on. If the burns start to ooze, place a piece of gauze on top to help keep the lotion where it belongs and it off his clothing.

The final week of treatments and first 2-3 weeks afterwards are the hardest ones. Radiation continues to work even though treatments have ended. The patient often feels abandoned after all the routines of going to rads and seeing medical professionals suddenly stop.

The mental aspect of OC is the hardest pat of it. Everyone is different and will handle things in their own way. Being told you have a potentially deadly disease can hit you like a ton of bricks. Its not something that can be ignored. Being forced to face our own mortality is a life changing experience. Many find help with speaking to a special therapist who sees cancer patients. Others will take anxiety meds, some short term while others need it longer. Some patients seem like they can handle everything while inside they really are falling apart. My mindset is to do whatever works to help someone get past probably the worst months of their lives.

Next comes the recovery phase. Many patients struggle with this as well as they can not get well fast enough. Its terribly frustrating having ups and downs with some setbacks here and there. After OC treatments, it takes a full 2 years to be completely recovered. This cant be rushed but with proper intake it can be easier. At the very least, the recovering OC patient should continue to take in a minimum of 2500 calories and 48-64 oz of water every single day. If they can do more like 3000 or 3500 calories thats not too much and can only help them get well faster. Adding high protein whey powder to their diet can help speed their healing. Most patients dont understand that their body has been broken so far down it needs extra fuel to rebuild itself and this cant happen overnight or even in 2 or 3 months. This phase can be very upsetting to patients and many struggle trying to regain their former lives. Thats another reason continued counseling and anxiety meds helps many OC patients, caregivers too.

Maybe talking with another survivor would help? In my experience, being around others like yourself is like reconnecting with extended family members. Thats the feeling even if meeting someone for the very first time. We are connected thru the horrors of diagnosis and treatment for a terrible disease. We all understand each other as we have walked similar paths and can easily relate. Send me a PM if your husband needs someone to talk to and I will give you my number. Over the years Ive talked to hundreds of OC patients and caregivers. I think it would help your husband to know he isnt alone in what he is going thru.

Best wishes!

Depnpd, Christine has covered just about everything I wanted to say. The mental aspect is very, very hard. I had my biggest crisis after a second very small top up surgery where I felt I was going to spend my next year or so in and out of hospital (which I hate) and I told my son and friends I wanted to die if that was the case. They quickly disabused me of this idea but it was how I felt at the time. I got over it because of a very kind and wise nurse that evening and a dose of Oxynorm which can have a magical effect on me.(I know this sounds strange!) After surgery and during and after RT, I saw cancer therapists/psychologists and took part in a Cancer Society "Moving Forward" programme in which 8 patients got to talk about their worries and strategies to help each week for 6 weeks.

I've been on antidepressants for some time. Once again, they help me enormously.

The skin on the neck heals very quickly after treatment ends. Two or thee weeks after treatment he will start to feel better all over but depression can take longer. There ARE ways to deal with it so plead with him to ask for help at the oncology center or or to see his medical doctor. Depression can be worse than pain and there's no need for anyone to suffer it so acutely when there are meds and counselling techniques to improve the situation.

HI,

It is very reasonable for the patient to be bummed out at this stage. It hurts so bad all the time you just get worn out. I think all you can expect is to just suffer through the recovery phase so physically he is not in pain and getting his weight back and such.
At that point try to get him more help for his mental issues.

I think right now you have your hands full just getting through all the physical issues.

Good luck

Sorry to hear this, the treatment for this disease is not easy physically or mentally. At some points post treatment I would have given a leg to wake up felling normal for just one day. The bad news is he still has a couple weeks, actually the worse of it all in front of him. The good news is that although it feels like forever away this will pass and he will heal and feel good again. Just takes time.

From reading your post I sense that it's the enormity of all this combined with his bad reactions to past treatment that is overwhelming your husband. Viewed from that perspective, it could bring down even the strongest people.

Early on, in my cancer, and before the worst side effects started one of the forum members told me that on some days we just have to focus our energy on getting through today. If the pain or side effects get really bad, we concentrate on getting through this one hour. That hour passes, we got through it, so give yourself a thumbs up and keep moving forward.

I think maybe your husband has stopped moving forward; he has stalled out mentally and can't see that he is still making progress.

Maybe that's where you can help him the most, by changing his mental picture from a long term view back to a short term view. When he gets through today successfully, use that tomorrow to remind him of his success and that he is in reality returning to health, albeit very slowly.

So much of this physical battle is mentally realizing nothing happens quickly, including recovery. I am one year post treatment and while most of the side effects are gone, some (like food tasting bad) still persist. Sometimes that bothers me because I really like food. BUT then the realization comes that because food doesn't taste very good, that I eat less, so the weight I lost in treatment is easier to keep off; and that's a trade-off I can live with.

Has your husband lost weight in treatment? Does he look better because of it? Maybe that's a silver lining to this dark cloud he is standing under. Be very careful with this weight loss idea because weight loss during treatment is highly frowned on by both forum members and the doctors and nurses.

Good luck, let us know how it turns out.

Tony

Thank you all so much. Will take things 1 day (or 1 hour) at a time. Your suggestions will help me to help him to get through the next two weeks- and beyond. Hopefully he will agree to seek treatment for the depression, as I'm sure this will linger.
Tony, Unfortunately Jim was not a big guy and the weight loss has been terrible for him. On the upside- he is looking forward to eating everything sight once he is able, without regard for fat, calories, cholesterol, etc.
With appreciation,
Debbie

Deb -
Whenever there is a change, whether it�s a good one or a bad one, depression is very common. End of Rad Tx brings that �What now?� feeling because of the change from the routine of going to rad tx every day. It happens not only to patients but to their caregivers, too. When my son finished Tx, we were glad it was over, but I soon got that uneasy feeling of not having the comfort of the routine, missing the daily visits and knowing my son was being cared for by people we trusted. Depression is temporary but consideration definitely should be given to any anxiety meds that the doctor might recommend. As mentioned, the worst time is 2 or 3 weeks after Tx ends, so there is definitely a �light at the end of the tunnel� where your husband can look forward to much better days. My son was on anti-depressants, too, and as given different ones at different times until he found what worked best for his situation. Sometimes meds themselves can cause depression. So if one doesn�t work, it�s time to check with the doctor and read the prescription bottles for any warnings.

Even the smallest sign of improvement should be celebrated and focus should be on all the things that could go Right instead of the �what ifs� or what could go wrong because those may never happen. Taste comes back slowly but each new thing that my son discovered that he could taste brought joy and celebration � like when he was able to swallow two skinny noodles with his chicken broth! I heaped heavy praise on him! And the day that he could taste the sweetness of a Gourmet jelly bean, his five year-old daughter and I did the happy dance in the kitchen! What helped me a lot was looking at someone�s posts who was 3 or 4 months ahead of my son in his progress, and doing well so we would know what we could expect. Things DO get better, so hang in there, both of you!