I am a 71 year old male who will be taking care of a 70 year old male who is being operated on 9/2/2014. I live in MA and will be going to Santa Monica CA where he lives. I plan to stay out in CA for a week or more after he is out.

I am looking for any advice about what to expect and things to be careful of during his immediate recovery period (~2 weeks) from other care givers who have gone through this.

thanks

Welocme to OCF. sorry about your friend. It appears he is looking at a long major surgery. There are a number of regulars here who I am sure will pop in to offer specifics on this sort of treatment.

I went chemo and radiation path but he may NEED the most help once he is on his own once leaving the hospital. Since you have a pretty short visit, this is when it seems your help may be more valuable to him. Naturally, being around during the hospital stay is comforting but he will receive great care.

Others can give more input specific to oral surgery and the most critical time for some added help and support. Don

John, welcome to OCF! Being a caregiver is a tough job. Your friend will have a major surgery which could take a while to recover from.

After surgery, keep the patient comfortable and as pain free as possible. Many prescription pain meds come in liquid form, which could burn the mouth but is easier to swallow. They may have major issues with eating and drinking. Discuss this in detail with their physician. If they are unable to speak or be understood then they should have someone with them to advocate for them while they are hospitalized. A dry erase board could be a big help.

Ask about physical therapy, speech therapy and how your friend will get their nutrition.

Best wishes to your friend!

hi Don

thanks for the advice about the time he will need me most.

I am just looking at flights and am going to go out toward the end of his hospitalization so I can maximize the time I can spend out there after he gets out of the hospital. I am not retired, but teach, and luckily have a lot of flexibility in my schedule this term. I am trying to arrange things so that I can stay as long as two weeks post release, and it may be possible to stay longer. I am looking around for support groups for oral cancer, and see one at UCLA, which is not far from where he lives.

sounds like a really challenging time for him. I am worried most about his reaction to all this, physiologically. It scares me to see what is in front of him, and I am not the one who has to go through it.

thanks again for the quick reply

John

hi Christine

thanks so much for your quick response, a dry erase board sounds like a great idea, I am going to go out and find one later on today.

I must say this is a really impressive forum system you have here.

I am a prostate cancer survivor, now 13 years out of a radical, and before and after was on a prostate list serve, which was a great help for me going through that.

But your setup is light years ahead of what they had. Guess 13 years is an eternity in internet time, Things have really evolved in that time in terms of these kinds of forums.

thanks again for the quick response, it helps enormously, both my friend and I

best

John

I'm not going to be much help at this stage since I didn't have to have any surgery but there are plenty here that had similar surgery and I do hope they comment on your planned length of stay because I don't think a week or so will even be close to what he will need.

You are right about this site, it's a Godsend.