Hi all, I was treated and cured of squamous (spelling) carcinoma (again spelling - haven't looked at diagnosis for a long time) to larynx, stage 2 in 2010. I went to Moffit Cancer Center, Tampa, Fl ( Dr Andy Trotti) for treatment. Since that time, I have more doctors keeping check on me than I did when I was being treated. I'm not complaining that I was cured. That was a good thing. When I went in for treatment, my health was excellent (except for that one final detail) and my immune system was right on. All bodily organs were excellent. Since that time, slowly but surely, I have to see a medical oncologist for kidney and liver (mostly kidney) damage. Nothing serious yet, but docs need to keep an eye on it. That was the chemo damage. As you probably know if you're head and neck patient, radiation kills your thyroid function. I am still working to get the proper meds to control that. I was a small to medium person - I have gained 45 lbs. I do not eat a lot. Along with that, pulmonary problems developed. My lung capacity is 37%. Yes I can still function and I'm not on oxygen. But exercise is tough and I need to do that.
Anyway, the reason I'm writing this is because this past week, I had to take my 92 old father to a medical oncologist because of a possibility of a problem. (Because of his age, we will just keep an eye out) Anyway, my father mentioned my experience with cancer. Doc told me that head neck cancers are the best for cure but the worst for continued survival. Meaning that the cure rate is great, even saving the voice box. However, the heavy meds they have to use to cure us - will likely cause many different health issues the rest of your life. Radiation never leaves your body and can keep coming out in different ways (over and over) just like the energizer bunny. No one is the same, so they can't tell you what issues you will have. My husband says they did tell me this going in - but I sure don't remember that conversation. Has anyone else got any stories and how they are dealing with it. My problem is that I want to be like I was before the cancer. Thanks for listening to my little "rant."
Sandy

Sandy, life after cancer is a whole different world. I refuse to spend my life looking backwards. It would only lead me down a path to become miserable. Eventually I surely would turn into a raving lunatic thinking about what I used to look like and my former life! I choose to look forward and live in the here and now without regrets. Nobody can ever go back and change the past anyway, so why continue to be concerned about what already happened? Guess Im just more a "glass half full" type person.

Thanks for sharing your history. Maybe focusing on the good things in your life would help you to look forward. The "new normal" isnt always easy but its a heck of alot better than the alternative.

Sandy, read what Christine says. I promise her life, my life and yours will never be the same. Read my signature. I only listed the terminal diagnoses, except for LIFE. That is the one I'm hoping will take me out in the end.

That which was, will never be again, applies to all of us. The quicker we move forward, the more we will enjoy life. There are maybe a million possibilities for all of us, yet only a handful of realities will happen. Wait for them but don't stew on something that can't happen. Borrowing joy from today can't be repaid tomorrow.

Life, I've learned is never the same for caregivers, either. There is always that "waiting for the other shoe to drop". The main reason I keep coming back here is because I have learned and continue to learn so much from people like Christine and Uptown and so many others I've come to know on this forum. It takes practice to push away from too much looking back, but it is doable. Taking care of whatever can be done is a good thing but stewing over what cannot be done only robs you of all the good that can come to you and the joys you can experience from being with the people you love. As a parent, I can understand your 92 year old father's concern about your health issues. Perhaps you could help each other to think about the joys you have shared and those still to come?

Thanks for your replies. I did not mean to give the impression that I continually look back at "what was" (OK, maybe sometimes - like when I posted the above "rant.")). But I am doing my best to look ahead at all the good things around me (and there are a lot). I think the main frustration that I have is trying to exercise and losing the weight. Not just from a vanity point. I am not used to the extra weight and it is very uncomfortable. Also causes me to lose my breath. And I am working on those issues. These boards were also so helpful to me when I was going through treatment - especially David CPA. (Thanks David - sorry I haven't kept in touch). I will do better.
To sum it up, all of you are correct in looking for the good things in life, and they are many. And I do that most of the time. If I can be of any help to any newcomers, I would be glad to listen. Thanks,
Sandy

Hi Sandy, it's been a while but I'm glad you are still here posting. You know I take the approach "the hell with this cancer" and I have this permanent chip on my shoulder to prove that cancer will not be my excuse for anything. This works for me. Sure I don't feel as good as I did pre cancer but hey I'm 8 years older and at 66 I can't tell if my new life problems are cancer treatment related or just older age related.

Hi David, Good to hear from you. Most of the time I am ok, but occasionally go through the above rant. And you're right, I started this when I was 63 (ahem - excellent shape ie good immune system and very healthy and good weight) and now at 67. I have to work a lot harder to be what I was. And you're right ("the hell with cancer") at least I am still walking and talking and eating and drinking and around family and friends. Yah for that!!!! By the way, someone told me that Dr Trotti had retired. Right after my treatment, he did get sick and was out for a long time. I spoke to Karen several times, but she never said why. If anyone knows, you do.

They are keeping it close to the vest. Many speculations but I can't get anyone to confirm. He was waaaayyyy to young and talented to hang it up.

Hi Sandy, I'm 67 as well and an 11 year survivor. Side effects from radiation therapy did me in (mainly starting at the 10 year mark). This year I had a Pontines stroke because of Baroreflex failure and unregulated blood pressure. I had also been battling aspiration pneumonia for 1 1/2 years so, consequently, was given a PEG because I can no longer eat or drink by mouth. Last week I had the PEG replaced with a Mic-Key button type feeding port and when this one wears out, I am switching to the AMT Mini-One. I am blending 1-2 meals a day and formula for the rest. There are many OC survivors on the adult G tube Facebook site. I have fully recovered from the stroke and gotten quite used to the Mic-Key. I'm still playing gigs with the band and living life. I remain cancer free and life is good. You have to play the cards you're dealt.

Sandy23, are you doing anything to improve your lung capacity? That's a big deal for long term lung and cardio issues. Mine was the same as yours and I managed to get it all the way back to 85% which is phenomenal for 58 years old.