I feel so sad and guilty for my little brother. He's our little baby he's only 22 years old. I am 26 years old if anyone was wondering. I feel guilty that I ate food in front of him today. He can barley eat and when he did eat I asked "is everything ok how do you feel" and he got upset "I can barley eat and when I do eat it hurts." I feel so bad and I don't know what to do.

There's nothing wrong with the feelings you are experiencing. This is a horrific disease as a patient, loved one or caregiver. You show how much you love your brother by your words. I'm sorry you are seeing him suffer from the brutality of the treatment.

What you are doing is supporting your younger brother. Just being there and listening to him helps. Being a caregiver is not easy, you often will feel helpless and like you arent doing enough. Your brother is lucky to have you in his corner.

I'm sorry for you and everyone facing and dealing with this disease and its aftermath.

When my husband could not eat or had difficulty eating, I went through a spell - I would eat very little for days (due to guilt & zero appetite), then I would overeat for a day, and back and forth like this. Finally, I realized this would not make my husband happy and probably make me sick. I started walking regularly and that helped me. I was still very sad and anxious, but not so crazy.

My husband finished treatment about 5 weeks ago. I felt terribly guilty eating at first and found myself hiding in other rooms to eat when he couldn't see me. Sometimes I'd skip meals so that I wouldn't have to eat in front of him. In the long run I realized this wasn't going to work, and that he would not want me to get run down or sick because he was sick and could not eat. It's horrible having to see those we love suffer. It's also hard when they get upset and express their pain. However, it's good that he is expressing his pain, and just know that all you have to do is let him know you hear him and how much you care about him. He may find it hard to see you eat at times, but he also cares about you and wants you to be well in the long run. Most importantly, know that this will all pass. Take good care of yourself. He is lucky to have such an empathic and caring sister!

My husband is unable to swallow (not even his own saliva) because of the scarring in the esophagus. While I don't feel guilty about eating because like Randi, I know that I have to eat and keep myself in good health so that I can be the caregiver that John needs. I do, however, try not to cook food that used to be his favourites (like homemade bread, lobsters, food with lots of garlic, etc) and if I need a treat, like chocolates, I eat it in the kitchen while he is watching TV in the sitting room. From time to time, I will let him know that I am having steak (another one of his favourites)and it makes him happy to know that I am not depriving myself. So, it really is a matter of striking a balance.

Whatever works, DO it! I used to eat chocolate in the bathroom when my kids were little.

My husband has been on a peg for 2 yrs now. At first I would cook when he wasn't home or in the garage or outside. Overtime he got used to eat and he claims that it doesn't bother him anymore. You can always offer a little taste for his tongue if it bothers him when you cook. It will shake out over time and don't be afraid to talk about with him.