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fishmanpa #170292 09-01-2013 06:40 PM
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 421
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 421
Likes: 1
As I've been researching and studying health anxiety issues, I've joined a site much like OCF that specifically deals with anxiety issues. I've been in contact with some of the admins and exchanged information, asked questions and read quite a bit.

Truly, it's mind boggling when you read some of the posts. I came across this video on YouTube and it just so happens it's one of the members of the site previously mentioned.

Take 15 minutes and watch. It gives you an intimate insight to what health anxiety is like. It truly seems quite mad but keep in mind, it's very real to the individual suffering through this malady. With all due respect to anyone suffering from HA, I don't mean any disrespect at all. I just find it interesting.

Having been married to a woman who suffered from severe depression disorder which manifested itself into hoarding and been a relationship with a woman who suffered from bi-polar disorder, I have an intimate understanding of mental dysfunction.

I suffered from some minor depression after my bypass surgery and was on drug therapy along with psychotherapy for several months.

As a survivor of H&N cancer I know full well the statistical facts of my survival. Fortunately, I'm at total peace with things. I have a certain amount of "scanxiety" as we all do, but compared to true HA, I'm totally fine and function at above normal capacity for what I've been through.

Take a moment and watch... I found it absolutely fascinating...

Breakdown

"T"


57
Cardiac bypass 11/07
Cardiac stents 10/2012
Dx'd 11/30/2012 Tx N2b MO Stage IV HPV+
Palatine Tonsillectomy/Biopsies 12-21-12
Selective Neck Dissection/Lingual Tonsillectomy/biopsies TORS 2/7/13
Emergency Surgery/Bleeding 2/18/13
3/13/2013 30rads/6chemo
Finished Tx 4/24/13
NED Since
fishmanpa #170320 09-02-2013 11:34 AM
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 346
Likes: 3
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Platinum Member (300+ posts)

Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 346
Likes: 3
I have a severe panic disorder that has taken years to get under control. My primary symptoms were shaking, chills, and throwing up. I am betting the throwing up contributed damage to my tongue, making it more susceptible to the cancer when it struck.

My anxieties are not health anxieties, though health issues do not help! My symptoms have switched more to migraines and nausea now, neither of which are helpful in my current surgery recovery.

I had graduated from therapy, but one of my first steps after diagnosis was to call my therapist up for an appointment. I figured preemptive sanity checks would be a good thing. I would advise that for anyone who struggles with anxiety and depression.

Also explain your condition to ALL your doctors. I spiked a small fever in the hospital, but I explained that it was due to the panic attacks I had that night. The puking and the shivers required me to really bundle up, so I could stop shaking. So I overheated. Not sure the nurses were convinced, but my surgeon understood, and helped me to go home sooner where I could cope better with the anxiety.

Just a bit of how it looks from this side. I could write more but I have a lovely migraine kicking me in the head at the moment.

Kristen


Surgery 5/31/13
Tongue lesion, right side
SCC, HPV+, poorly differentiated
T1N0 based on biopsy and scan
Selective neck dissection 8/27/13, clear nodes
12/2/13 follow-up with concerns
12/3/13 biopsy, surgery, cancer returned
1/8/14 Port installed
PEG installed
Chemo and rads
2/14/14 halfway through carboplatin/taxotere and rads
March '14, Tx done, port out w/ complications, PEG out in June
2017: probable trigeminal neuralgia
Fall 2017: HBOT
Jan 18: oral surgery
fishmanpa #171799 09-30-2013 11:52 AM
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 144
Senior Member (100+ posts)
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Senior Member (100+ posts)

Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 144
well as a person living with several mental issues hypochondria being one of them. It is a coping style. low self esteem begs for attention, validation. The most important thing is that it is not as cut and dry as one knowingly or not lies to themselves . When confronted with hard evidence that I do not have what I think or want to think I have. I have to back off of that obsession because it has been proven invalid to me and to further claim illness in the face of undeniable evidence to the contrary. does not feed the "Woe is me" Because for me it has to be a possibility. Now you may think that this guy must be in heaven. Quite the contrary. Back in 1989 when I first found out that someone I had slept with was sick. I did not want to be found positive for at the time a fatal illness. But when I found out that I was HIV positive. I was well I do have this why not take the attention that I surely would reap. I remember playing Blue Oyster Cults "Don't fear the reaper" in a small gay bar that maybe half of the patrons being in the same boat as me there was a morbid sense of belonging that I embraced. Because it was that or just wait to die. At this point people were selling their life insurance for $o.50 on the dollar and didn't really care about anything after making sure that their funeral costs were covered. So much money was spent on once in a lifetime trips around the world while they were still well enough to enjoy it. And I went on a lot of those trips on someone elsees dime. And in those moments all was well in the state of denile. then more people started to get sick. They party was ending for so many at the same time. Celebrations of life were a weekly thing. Those of us who were living off of Bactrim and AZT were the lucky ones. I had lost my first love to AIDS. And then some one came up with a pill that stopped the virus from replicating itself. And all of a sudden people wished that they hadn't blown their life savings on lavish trips and fancy cars. Had no idea what they were gonna do with their new lease on life. But how off track did I get? When I found a lump in my throat I had made great progress in my mental state of being. And I did not jump to the cancer conclusion. I thought it was HIV related. And so did my Doctor. A clogged saliva gland was what my Doc. suggested. after all I had have issues with my lymph nodes before. So my progress in not being such a hypo. set me back more than three months.(at least) in that time I watched it grow bigger and bigger until I finally I decided to buy into my works insurance. And met my new doctor and he immediately thought that we needed to find out what it was. So my progress set me back at least four months. It came back as SCC. stage IV, instead of perhaps stage 2-3 if I had hypoed over it. Ironic!


. Radio/Erbitex:(35/6.) .6/13 RSSC with met.to left neck.9/11/13 MND with left tonsil removal.9/18/13 margins failed, .Dx Terminal. 10/22/13 Dx.StageIII Lymphedema. Carboplatin/Taxol, cancer progression,WECF
3/14/2014 given 2 weeks, 3 maybe. All the veins in my head are slowly leakinging due to Ehlers Danlos syndrome. lucky thing is that my spinal fluid leaking out my nose is slowing the build up of pressure in my huge, huge head. you would not believe.
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