Hi again. We do care and rant all you want. On a practical note you need help. I'm not being facetious either. There have to be some agencies in your area that offer a break and home health care. Here we have the CCAC. They come to your home (for free) and do all the things a nurse is supposed to - change bags give meds help with wound care etc... (also assess the patients) hopefully there is something similar available to you. I know your son is touchy right now that could be fear, or simply stress, but regardless its bad for both of you (Linda and you) to have to deal with it. I suggest doing some of it yourself. The shift work sounds like a great idea. that way you all get a rest.
Also when approaching your son take him somewhere else - out for a milk shake or something - and have a man to man with him. being away from the situation will help keep your wife from fretting, and maybe make the situation a little more distant.

hugs.

This has gone way beyond a nightmare. Michael is killing me. The stress level that he generates and his constant negativity is very unhealthy. I can only imagine what he's doing to Linda, but if I say anything to him or about him, Linda takes his side and gets mad at me, even though I know that he is stressing her out horribly. Last night we were having a hard time changing the ostomy bag and as Michael got angrier he was yelling at Linda to stop moving around. I mean really nasty yelling. He claims to be a Christian and reads the Bible every night but when things get to that point he starts cursing God and calling Him an "a-hole" for putting us all through this. I tried to get him out of the room last night so I could just take over and do it and he stormed out and Linda immediately got mad at me and demanded that Michael come back in. Maybe I'm wrong and I'm the one being an a-hole. I don't think so but then do a-holes know that they are? Btw, Michael is an adult, he's not a kid though you would never know it. I'm not religious, I don't really believe in any Supreme Being, but I have actually thought about going to see a priest. I have no idea how that would help but I guess it couldn't hurt. While this is a great forum and I love the people here, having this as the ONLY place where I can really say this stuff, well, it's good but I would like to talk face to face with someone. I can't talk to my family as they already6 don't like Michael and never have. I am totally lost here, I have no idea how to deal with this. Thank you all for being here for me.

How did the calls to the support groups go? Are you able to find a local support group for patients and families struggling through treatments?

Sounds like they may to go with you but at least you can get some support and guidance from others. Best to you, don

Linda's doctor can write an order for home health care agency nursing to assess and instruct in ostomy care AND home health care agency Medical Social Worker to assess patient's needs. Locate a Medicare certified "Home Health Care" agency through Linda's hospital or doctor, and the agency can assist in getting the order written correctly so insurance will pay for these medical needs. While you may feel that you do not need an RN, I believe the insurance guidelines require that before an MSW is sent in to a home, a nursing assessment must be done. I have been out of the field for a few years so you will want to speak directly with an administrator with the home health care agency to get the current guidelines.

I am so sorry for your family's distress, but I believe there is help available for you. Make the calls.