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#164475 05-02-2013 02:23 PM
Joined: Jun 2007
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Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services
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It is with a very heavy heart that I bring this sad news to my fellow OCF members. One of our long time active members passed away suddenly on Monday. This man was admired for his integrity and was well respected in everything he took part in. He didnt do anything half way. Over the years, he spent countless hours volunteering and helping others here on the forum. He assisted me with projects and was always willing to lend a hand to help spread oral cancer awareness.

Words seem inadequate to express the sorrow felt by the loss of Tom Baker, known to most forum members as Charm2017. I am certain Charm will remain in our hearts forever, never to be forgotten just like his posts will live on.

While no death is easy, this one especially broke my heart as Charm is a dear friend of mine. I had the pleasure of meeting Tom at the first San Antonio OCF walk. After the walk Tom and his lovely wife Bev showed me the Alamo and the riverwalk. We had a wonderful dinner along the river talking and laughing for hours. Last September we all got together again at the NJ OCF walk. I will always cherish these wonderful memories of a great man.

The world will not be the same without Tom Baker. Our dear friend is no longer in any discomfort or pain now, rest in peace Charm.



Christine
SCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44
2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07
-65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr
Clear PET 1/08
4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I
surg 4/16/08 clr marg
215 HBO dives
3/09 teeth out, trismus
7/2/09 recur, Stg IV
8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy
3wks medicly inducd coma
2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit
PICC line IV antibx 8 mo
10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg
OC 3x in 3 years
very happy to be alive smile
ChristineB #164476 05-02-2013 02:27 PM
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 10,507
Likes: 6
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The obituary will be in the Washington Post either Friday or Saturday. Charm has already been cremated. A funeral mass will be on Monday, May 6 at 10:00 a.m. at St. Agnes Church, 1914 North Randolph Street, Arlington, VA.

The family wishes asked for donations to the Tom Baker Memorial Fund in lieu of flowers. The memorial page is in the process of being made and will be available very soon.


Christine
SCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44
2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07
-65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr
Clear PET 1/08
4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I
surg 4/16/08 clr marg
215 HBO dives
3/09 teeth out, trismus
7/2/09 recur, Stg IV
8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy
3wks medicly inducd coma
2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit
PICC line IV antibx 8 mo
10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg
OC 3x in 3 years
very happy to be alive smile
ChristineB #164477 05-02-2013 02:57 PM
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 701
Likes: 1
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 701
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I am shocked and so saddened by this news. What a wonderful man Charm was! I always looked forward to his posts and many times communicated with him by PM. He told it like it was. I loved that about him. He never sugar-coated anything. He inspired me to think about things differently. God, I will miss him so much. My heart breaks for Bev and his son. And for you, too, Christine, as I know you had a special relationship with Charm and Bev. Thank you for sharing this with us. I am stunned.


Anita (68)
CG to husband, Clark, 79,
DX SCC 11/07, T4N0Mx, PEG 1/08, RAD, post rad infection 3/08,
HBOT 40 dives, ORN, Surg 11/09 mandibulectomy w/fibular graft.
Plastic Surg 4/10, 12/10, 3/11, 10/11, 4/12, 10/12. All PETS clear,
PEG out 1/11. 6/11 non union jaw fracture
Fractured jaw w/surgery 7/14
Aspiration pneumonia 7/21, 10/22
PEG 7/21
Botox injections
ChristineB #164478 05-02-2013 03:52 PM
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,267
Likes: 1
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
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I'm very saddened by this loss. During my short membership, Charm and I had a few debates, I guess the way he and I are, but we always assumed our support for one another, and never held grudges. I was always worried about Charm, especially during his hospitalizations, and when not hearing from him, and looked forward to his return with his posts, debates, and on point research. I only hope to emulate him in life, but there is only one Charm! Rest in peace, my friend.


10/09 T1N2bM0 Tonsil
11/09 Taxo Cisp 5-FU, 6 Months Hosp
01/11 35 IMRT 70Gy 7 Wks
06/11 30 HBO
08/11 RND PNI
06/12 SND PNI LVI
08/12 RND Pec Flap IORT 12 Gy
10/12 25 IMRT 50Gy 6 Wks Taxo Erbitux
10/13 SND
10/13 TBO/Angiograph
10/13 RND Carotid Remove IORT 10Gy PNI
12/13 25 Protons 50Gy 6 Wks Carbo
11/14 All Teeth Extract 30 HBO
03/15 Sequestromy Buccal Flap ORN
09/16 Mandibulectomy Fib Flap Sternotomy
04/17 Regraft hypergranulation Donor Site
06/17 Heart Attack Stent
02/19 Finally Cancer Free Took 10 yrs






ChristineB #164479 05-02-2013 05:50 PM
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,606
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What sad and tragic news. When we lose a member of this family I think it takes a piece of our hearts along with them. Yes, Charm was certainly a unique and very special person indeed. He had a way to make everyone's life just a bit brighter no matter what he was facing personally. We are all enriched from having crossed paths with this wonderful man. May you rest in peace Tom.


SCC Stage IV, BOT, T2N2bM0
Cisplatin/5FU x 3, 40 days radiation
Diagnosis 07/21/03 tx completed 10/08/03
Post Radiation Lower Motor Neuron Syndrome 3/08.
Cervical Spinal Stenosis 01/11
Cervical Myelitis 09/12
Thoracic Paraplegia 10/12
Dysautonomia 11/12
Hospice care 09/12-01/13.
COPD 01/14
Intermittent CHF 6/15
Feeding tube NPO 03/16
VFI 12/2016
ORN 12/2017
Cardiac Event 06/2018
Bilateral VFI 01/2021
Thoracotomy Bilobectomy 01/2022
Bilateral VFI 05/2022
Total Laryngectomy 01/2023
ChristineB #164480 05-02-2013 06:15 PM
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 805
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"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 805
I am saddened beyond belief. Thank you Christine, for letting us know. Please give our love to Bev.
Kathy and Kevin

Last edited by KP5; 05-02-2013 06:23 PM.

Kathy wife/caregiver to:
Kevin age:53
Dx 7/15/11
HPV16+ SCC Stage IV BOT/R
Non smoker, casual drinker
7/27/11 Cistplatin, taxotere,5FU 2/3week sessions, followed by IMRT 125cgy x 60 (2x daily) w/Erbitux weekly. Last rad 10/26/11. Last Erbitux 10/27/11
PEG placed 9/1/11 Removed 11/8/11
Clear PET 10/12 and 10/13 and ct in 6/14
ChristineB #164481 05-02-2013 06:19 PM
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 151
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Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 151
I will miss his fighting spirit. He was an inspiration to so many as he battled the third time. My prayers are with his family.


Husband diagnosed Oct '11 Cancer of the vocal cord Nov '11 removed right vocal cord. Neck Dissection, cancer in one node, .2, very small & contained) Jan '12 Radiation and Cisplatin, 6 doses. June '12 & Dec '12 clear Pet scan. April '13 Celebrating 1 year cancer free since treatment ended.
ChristineB #164482 05-02-2013 06:38 PM
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 720
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"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
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Oh, no. I am so sorry to hear this. I always enjoyed his incisive posts (and always got a laugh out of his frequent edits to "tone it down" -- indicative of his great passion to help others afflicted with OC). I can only imagine what it must have been like to go up against him in court or across a conference table! My condolences to his family.

Back in June 2010, Charm posted on these pages an essay that he had submitted to the Washington Post's Health section -- and that the paper had published -- about his "new normal" when it came to his enjoyment of food despite having a PEG. He noted in his comments that "I'd give the direct link but that would reveal my 'secret identity'" -- since apart from a very few initial posts, where he signed off as Tom, he was known to us only by his OCF name. In his honor, I'm posting that direct link to his Post essay here.


Leslie

April 2006: Husband dx by dentist with leukoplakia on tongue. Oral surgeon's biopsy 4/28/06: Moderate dysplasia; pathology report warned of possible "skip effect." ENT's excisional biopsy (got it all) 5/31/06: SCC in situ/small bit superficially invasive. Early detection saves lives.
ChristineB #164483 05-02-2013 08:14 PM
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,606
Likes: 2
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
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Christine, I forgot to thank you for the news and to tell you I am so sorry for your pain.

Ed


SCC Stage IV, BOT, T2N2bM0
Cisplatin/5FU x 3, 40 days radiation
Diagnosis 07/21/03 tx completed 10/08/03
Post Radiation Lower Motor Neuron Syndrome 3/08.
Cervical Spinal Stenosis 01/11
Cervical Myelitis 09/12
Thoracic Paraplegia 10/12
Dysautonomia 11/12
Hospice care 09/12-01/13.
COPD 01/14
Intermittent CHF 6/15
Feeding tube NPO 03/16
VFI 12/2016
ORN 12/2017
Cardiac Event 06/2018
Bilateral VFI 01/2021
Thoracotomy Bilobectomy 01/2022
Bilateral VFI 05/2022
Total Laryngectomy 01/2023
ChristineB #164484 05-02-2013 09:18 PM
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,357
Likes: 5
"OCF Canuck"
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I am beyond sad at Tom's passing. I will need some time to process this. He was a friend and many times, a saviour for my soul. Words cannot express how much I will miss him.

Donna


Donna,69, SCC L Tongue T2N1MO Stg IV 4/04 w/partial gloss;32 radtx; T2N2M0 Stg IV; R tongue-2nd partial gloss w/graft 10/07; 30 radtx/2 cispl 2/08. 3rd Oral Cancer surgery 1/22 - Stage 1. 2022 surgery eliminated swallowing and bottom left jaw. Now a “Tubie for Life”.no food envy - Thank God! Surviving isn't easy!!!! .Proudly Canadian - YES, UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE IS WONDERFUL! (Not perfect but definitely WONDERFUL)
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