He initally lost over 2 pints of blood in a short period of time.The most part of the last 5 days were spent in ICU because of a 30 point blood pressure drop when he stands up and this significant internal bleeding. We had to wait for thigh high compression stockings on the Friday night release date. The thirty point drop can kill you within a few minutes.
http://www.pennmedicine.org/encyclopedia/em_DisplayArticle.aspx?gcid=000167&ptid=1

I am done with this. I can't help anyone that won't help him selves.

I took the compression stockings, lying on the floors for hours and wrote a note that said'

He doesn't listen to anything, follow diretions, or seem to realize the danger that he is inl

I am done.

Stacey, I am so sorry about this turn of events. Do you have access to counseling for yourself at the hospital or in your community?

Im so very sorry to hear your husband is still giving you problems with listening to his doctors. Its really a shame he is so stubborn. There must be some reason he has in his mind for doing things his own way. I wish he would open up and share this with you so you could understand it better.

You have done the very best you can do with him. At some point the patient is responsible for their own decisions even when they are harmful. Im so very sorry that you have been put thru so much!

Counseling is something your husband could benefit from. He seems to be denying he has anything wrong. Im concerned he is depressed and just doesnt care what happens with anything anymore. I guess he doesnt stop to realize how much this impacts you as well. If he doesnt get counseling then maybe it would help you so you dont internalize all of this. Its beyond your control and Im sure it is not an easy life you are living right now. Please dont ever forget we have both the patients best interests in mind but also yours. You are not alone, we are here to help you as much as we possibly can.

Good luck!!!

Gloria and Christine,

Thanks to you both so much. (I need to learn how to edit my posts to correct the spelling and make it clear).

I want to see a counselor (he has already refused...weeks ago). We will learn what the RO says tomorrow. He will agree to tests but NO WAY to dietician, counseling and he visibly tunes out most of the Doctors advice and you can see when he tunes them out.

I had to talk to his 80 year old parents when he had a 'tear' and lost over 4 cups of blood internally. There was projectile blood hurling that he had to be wiped off of one wall. That could cause death in minutes and then another problem of the pulse rate 140 ro 190 and BP dropping 30 points when he stands, That is a 2nd urgent life threatening situation in 4 days..

Yes, he whines endlessly about eating 2000 vs 2500 calories. He doesn'r want/won't drink one to two drinks of 'extra' water per day. He won't wear the thigh high stockings. EXCUSES.

I am worried about his survival. I just think he has zoned everyone out, not listening, and he is going to go it alone.

I am so sad but I can't change this. I had hoped his family and kids would but they can;t help either.

I will keep trying but I feel defealted already. He has made up his mind and he is not listening to the doctors or me. The 'blacking out feeling and light headedness."

Thanks to each of you.

Stacey - I know this must be so difficult for you. I hope you are doing whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. You can do just so much for another person - supply them with loving care, information, suggestions, etc. but ultimately it is your husband's decision as to what he does with his life. Some things that come to mind: If he is depressed, could meds be causing this? and is there some sort of "happy pill" that might help him to feel better about eating and taking in water? What he's doing or not doing now looks to me like slow suicide. If it's a matter of his wanting to be in control and not follow his doctors' orders, then as I see it, he has two choices: If he wants to live, then he needs to put on his big boy pants and start doing what is medically and physically necessary to save his own life. If he wants to die, then he needs to make his final arrangements, like who gets what of his stuff and make sure his insurance is paid up so that you don't have the burden of deciding everything when the time comes. You mentioned seeing the RO today - so if your husband is not listening to you, maybe one of the tough talking doctors can explain what his choices are in a direct and forceful manner. Hope things go well for both of you today!

Anne Marie made some good suggestions! Good luck with the appointment. I hope you are allowed to go and have the opportunity to speak up. The doc will need to know whats been going on with the hospitalizations.

Good luck!!!

Hi Stacey. I'm sorry your husband is being such a PIA! It's so incredibly hard loving someone so much and watching them self destruct. I don't understand how none of his doctors suggested a feeding tube. My husband reluctantly got one but "knew" he wouldn't need it. LOL - I don't think he would have survived without one. It is just another "tool" to get patients through treatment. Unfortunately you have found this out to late. Hydration and nutrition are so important during and after treatments. I know you are at your wits end. Do you think you could talk to the doctors about having a PEG tube put in? John had his removed 3 months after treatments ended. The radiation continues to build once treatments stop so it takes a while to feel better. It took John months and months to be able to eat "normally" again.

I would put some phone calls into his doctors and let them all know what is going on and his current state of mind. Hang in there! We are here for you! Remember to take care of yourself.

Stacey, do get some counselling for yourself. You are going through a very stressful time, what with the diagnosis, the treatment and all the problems you are having with getting him to listen to you. You are in a very difficult situation and I think a chance to talk to a professional where you can verbalize your feelings will help you to cope better. You need to live and be at peace with yourself with whatever decisions you are going to make. Please come back and update us. We are all here to support you.