Hi everyone I'm new to this site, and well here it is August 22, 2012 I was diagnosed with SCC of the Tongue. I would never forget this day as to me this day my world came crashing down at the speeed of lighting..I couldn't believe this was happening I'm 30 years old with two children that need me! since then I had a partial glossectomy and a neck dissection 25 lymphs all clear, at first I was told it was T1 but when I had surgery I was told it was more of a T2 because the tumor was about 3 1/2 centimeters. I am now scheduled to have radiation therapy 5 days a week for 5 minutes for 6 weeks this is due to the fact that my margins where close and there was some nerve invasion. I am torn apart all I do is think of my children and how long I would be on this earth to care for them and see them grow. What terrifies me the most is the thought of recurrence, there is no history of any type of cancer in my family, I smoked for four years maybe about a pack a week and I'm not much of a drinker also HPV-, how did this happen...my guess is as good as yours. As you can see my thoughts are all over the place, all I do is think about this all day is like it has taken over my life, my mind. I'm a very strong warrior this I am aware of, but this CANCER has made me fearful more than for myself for my children. My radiologist says I'll be fine and will be able to see my children grow into men and women, my family and friends are very supportive but nothing takes away this fear and this hopeless feeling.

Sweetz,

I too was diagnosed in August. I am 39, and this was a complete shock. They took 50% of my tongue (the tumor was over 4 cm), and lymph nodes from all zones, which made me T4. I will be starting rad and chemo shortly.

Trust your doctors. Mine said I would be fine, and I firmly believe that. He said I would be talking shortly after surgery and I am.

You are not hopeless. You fight with everything you have for yourself and for your kids, and you will see the benefit. My friends and family are astonished at the speed of my surgery recovery, and I attribute that to my motivation to get better, and a good attitude. It's ok to feel scared and angry, but don't let that interfere with your treatment and recuperation.

As I have told my friends and family, this is a bump in the road, and it just takes some time to get over the hump.

We can do it together!

Tina 77
Thanx for reaching out, my recovery has been very good as well I can talk and be understood well and I have yet to have any speech therapy. I know I need to be super strong for my children, and although I give it my all every day I still manage to have my weak moments as well EVERY DAY. I find myself crying on my drive to work, during showers, you name a moment and most likely I'm crying..I trust my doctors, and I'm always reminded of how lucky I am on every visit to have found my cancer at a early stage and to have such good prognosis...so I ask myself why do I still have this incredible fear, I've always been able to tackle situations head on with my battle gear ready, but this THING just has my emotion and thoughts all over the place.

This is a bumb in the road...let's "get 'r done" Tina

Just know that all the emotions you are feeling are normal and keep venting on here. We really DO understand what you are going through. Sometimes you can get something to calm you a bit from your doc. I needed that and I was the caregiver!! It is VERY overwhelming.
Hang in there and let Tina be your role model!! She rocks!!
Kathy

Sweetz, if you're anything like me, you're a self professed control freak. I have always been super independant, and have an iron will. People have always described me as "strong", and while I am, I am subject to the same fears and insecurities as everyone else, I simply choose not to show them. To be told that you have a disease which you have no control over is so hard to accept, it's almost impossible to not feel overwhelmed.

I too have cried in the shower (so no-one could see), but then I get out, shake myself off, and take a deep breath. I try to focus on today, because who knows what tomorrow can bring. The only thing here I can control is how I react right now, and I choose that reaction. It may be a limited view, but it helps me get through each day, with a semblance of control. It's the whole "can't see the forest for the trees" philosophy...one tree today, and the next tree tomorrow.

I'm here if you need to talk, about anything, even if it's just to be pissed off!

Thanx Tina and Kathy,
Tina yes, I too am a control freak..lol not having control is what freaks me out the most, the all too familiar words that play out in my head day in and day out from my radiologist "your chances for recurrence are overall low, however there is no such thing as zero" those words scare me the most! it's crazy to me how I've made it through so much in life, but these few stupid words are bringing me practically to my knees. But just a week away from Radiation therapy it's time to shake it off and put on my bring it on jersey and helmet and do a little tackling!!

I must say expressing some of this feelings of anger and fear has really been helpful! I think this beast has to be battled from the inside out, as it affects our emotional being a bit harder than it does our physical being.

Sweetz - You've come to the right place and I'm so glad you are here! There's a wealth of all the latest information and wonderful people who've been where you are now. Your radiologist is right you WILL be fine! You have a lot going for you. You caught this at an early stage and are already beginning the fight. Your children are a really big reason to keep going. Rather than think of all the negative "what ifs" try to keep thinking of all the reasons that things will go right! It does help if you have someone also pretty close in treatment as yours to keep up with and Tina seems to be one who is so she's a good one to partner up with! Do talk to your doctor about your feelings to see if he can prescribe something to help you feel better so that you can be a happier Mom for your children. Come here often - and let us know what is happening with you.

Anne-Marie,
Sounds like a plan. I think having a partner, someone that knows exactly what I'm going through and feeling will really help alot. I will keep everyone posted on what's happening.

Can't wait to fly through therapy and keep this invader away for good!

I am here to partner up, or whatever you need.

Remember, nothing is a guarantee...better odds of plane crash, etc., worse odds to win the lottery but people still buy tickets!