My fiance has been chewing for 24 years now (he is 40) and I am very concerned about it. I don't know if this is the right website to be on exactly, but I am trying to find out info on the probability of him developing cancer.

There is a reason I am concerned: my husband was a smoker and died of lung cancer 15 years ago at the age of 32 (I was 24). He smoked since he was 12.

We had a baby boy together who was 7 months old when he was diagnosed. My husband passed away 5 months after being diagnosed. It was devastating--how the cancer metastasized, the care giving, the passing. I don't want to go thru this tragedy again. It was just too painful to watch. So, I would like to TRY to educate my fiance.

I know with my husband that he did not think there was a real risk to smoking until it was too late, and with my fiance, he doesn't think there is any real risk with chewing 1 can a day (2 cans for at least 5 years before he met me). Any advice is appreciated!

Hi Robsgirl. I am very sorry to hear you lost your husband to lung cancer! Im sure it must be very hard for you to watch your fiance using tobacco after what your went thru with your husband.

This forum was created for oral cancer patients and caregivers. But its also about information so in a round about way you have somehow come to the right place as I have some info to help you. While I do not know specifically the statistics of what the odds would be for him to get cancer or some other deadly disease, I do know there are many chemicals in tobacco. Every single cigarette or pinch that is used causes damage. I have worked with TRUTH.com and also the CDC on their anti smoking campaigns. I also do volunteer work with the state of PA with several of their anti smoking divisions. I will pass along a couple websites which can help. Im sure you know you cant make him quit, he has to want to do it or he wont be successful. After he has been without tobacco for 3 days then it becomes more of a mind over matter kind of thing and if he stays very busy he can change old habits and make new ones which do not include using tobacco.

http://www.tobaccofreene.com/

http://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/campaign/tips/stories/
Im Christine, check out my bio. Maybe by seeing what tobacco did to me and the other people in these ads it will help him to realize he does NOT want to live like we do.

http://www.determinedtoquit.com/supportandresources/quitsmokingresources/

Dear Robsgirl - In addition to the great info and advice from Christine above, if you go to the main page of the Oral Cancer Foundation (see above upper left) there will be at the upper right corner a search box - just insert: chewing tobacco - you will see lots of info and some individual stories relating to smokeless tobacco. I'm so glad you found this site. I cannot even begin to imagine how devastating it must have been for you to lose your husband to this awful disease and with such a young child to care for at the time. I do hope your fianc� can find a way or a reason to quit chewing.

Dear Robsgirl,

I am so sorry to hear of your tragic past. I hope that your child has learned of the dangers of tobacco products. Hopefully, with your education and encouragement, your fiance can put down the chew. That's what prevented me from ever picking up tobacco products...fear of consequences. Like any drug, putting it down and keeping it down can be a lifelong battle. We all have our weaknesses, and may still abuse things even though we cognitively know that they are not good for us. Perhaps suggesting a 12-step program of recovery may help. Nicotine Anonymous Perhaps you could show your support by accompanying him to a meeting.

I grew up in a household where my mother smoked around us all of the time. Now, I suffer from bouts of asthmatic bronchitis whenever I get a common cold. I so badly wanted her to stop and still do. I rarely let my children go over to her house, because although she doesn't smoke indoors when they are there, she smokes in the house when she is alone. There is such a thing as "third hand smoke" and the toxins are still dangerous when they are stuck to clothing, hair, skin, and inside the house (dust, fabrics, etc.). This being known now, there may be the potential that he is exposing you to toxins indirectly without even realizing it.

I wish you the best of luck so that you may enjoy a long, healthy, tobacco-free life with your fiance and child. One should never have to endure what you and your child have. Please come here any time for support and information.

Take care,
Kerri