Oh, that's great Rod has no cancer, he'll be able to go back to work soon won't he?

and.....you must be happy he is in remission, you wouldn't be having to care for him so much anymore now would you?

[quote=KenEggman]Funny. Some much of what people say is rhetorical and do not warrant an answer lest they get a truthful answer and run away crying. How are you? Do you really want to ask that question?

I have been a very sarcastic person most of my life short, usually not verbalizing all my thoughts, but later enjoying the stupidity of mankind as a reflection of WTF.

Not sure how I will respond when the questions roll in, sure do not want to offend those with good intentions. [/quote]

There were only a few times where I told the truth (the day they found my second tumor) and it wasn't that good. It was like other people were more emotional and down about it than I was. Seeing other people get all quivery didn't help me stay in a good mind-frame so now I just say "good" when they ask how I am. Hopefully they understand and just encourage instead of pitty.

... you are having such a bad day, you react badly to ANYTHING that is said.

My MD told me he had run into Alex at the shopping centre and looked really good. This was at a time when Alex only showed his face on days he wasn't nauseous or exhausted, was at least 10kgs underweight and was clearly not looking good. Did I take this as encouragement as I should have? Nah!

My immediate response (on the inside luckily) was to get defensive. My interpretation was that our MD was questioning the amount of time off I was taking since Alex was clearly doing so well.

Our poor well meaning friends and acquaintances don't have a chance as on some days we will handle and think nothing of their comments and indeed, may welcome them. On others we will go off like a firecracker at the same comment.

Yes, it is a good thing that we have more manners and ettiquette than some of our well meaning friends and relatives. One friend who I have heard her numerous times ask "what is someone's prognosis or chances" had me ready when she would eventually ask me. I just gave her a look that said it all. I don't know what it looked like but it should of shown that it was something I didn't want to discuss in a casual way with others around. Hopefully showed my fear, did she want to know that even if I could say 90% that who would want to face that their husband has a 10% chance of leaving us. Do they realize the reality of some of our answers. She later apologized and I was able to graciously tell her this is not the question we want to just casually answer.

Another time I just bit my tongue when we briefly met with a relative we barely see and he asked us "now come on, what's the deal with the cancer, did they get it all". It was like "come on, give me the facts and don't keep anything back". The sad thing was this was a Pastor who I hope doesn't deal with people like this in situations I know he encounters.

I guess even before this journey started 6 months ago I never felt I had the right to ask this of anyone. Even when my niece had leukemia I would of never dreamed of asking my brother.

Either I'm lucky, or I'm unaffected....People don't know how to act, or what to say....they mean well, and to me motive is everything.

I have plenty of fear, but am thankful it only comes up to stare me in the face once in a while.......I simply don't want the added stress of anger, nor do I have the physical resources to deal with anger......so shine all the ignorance on...we aren't going to train them, nor change them....so it's a moot endeavor.

p

As both a lawyer and College English major, I've found language to be a lot of fun. Like the word: moot
Moot's two different meanings
Another commentator summed it up this way:
[quote]The confusion over the meaning of moot point is modern. It is a misunderstanding of another sense of moot for a discussion forum in which hypothetical cases are argued by law students for practice. Since there is no practical outcome of these sessions, and the cases are invented anyway, people seem to have assumed that a moot point means one of no importance. So we�ve seen a curious shift in which the sense of �open to debate� has become �not worth debating�.[/quote]

Moot court is still part of all law schools and thanks to the magic of TV legal shows faux courtroom scenes, almost everyone uses "moot" to mean futile, of no practical consequence or already overtaken by some other action just like Phrannie's post. Although with over 264 thousand views of this thread, perhaps this endeavor is moot in the original sense after all.
Your morning dose of etymology courtesy of Charm

...I swear Charm, I read your posts and laugh to myself as we think so much alike...you must've been a hell of an attorney

;o)

Charm, Eric is right... you must have been a foreboding attorney. I would have wanted you on MY side, for sure, would not have wanted to be going up against you.

when i came back to work from my partial tongue removal surgery and lymph node disection and a co-worker looked at me and said "well at least you're cured"
when i came back to work from a radiation treatment and said how tired i was and a co-worker looked at me and said "why are you tired? don't you just have to lay down?"