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#148224 - 04/13/12 10:46 PM Re: Memories... [Re: Sandy177]
Shelley K Offline
Platinum Member (300+ posts)

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 307
Loc: North Hills, CA
Christine,

I LOVE the name of your new address! I admire you so much. You have shown (and still showing)so much strength and grace through what was probably the toughest time in your life. You are an inspiration to us caregivers. And what Sandy said is right...we are one big family here! You can't leave!!

Love,

Shelley
_________________________
Caregiver to husband Ron. Throat Cancer. Finished 35 radiation treatments on 11/21/04. 8/2/11 small lesion on lower gum, laser Procedure to remove. 3/6/12 Doc. removed another lesion on outside of his neck. Did a skin graft from his chest to replace the skin on his neck. Went to Heaven on 6/24/12.

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#148234 - 04/14/12 12:50 AM Re: Memories... [Re: Sandy177]
KP5 Offline
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 795
Loc: NY
LOVE it!!! Hope it is something that can work out. How far would it be from work? The new job?
_________________________
Kathy wife/caregiver to:
Kevin age:53
Dx 7/15/11
HPV16+ SCC Stage IV BOT/R
Non smoker, casual drinker
7/27/11 Cistplatin, taxotere,5FU 2/3week sessions, followed by IMRT 125cgy x 60 (2x daily) w/Erbitux weekly. Last rad 10/26/11. Last Erbitux 10/27/11
PEG placed 9/1/11 Removed 11/8/11
Clear PET 10/2012

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#148239 - 04/14/12 02:10 AM Re: Memories... [Re: KP5]
CMMoore Offline
Gold Member (200+ posts)

Registered: 07/01/09
Posts: 280
Loc: MO, USA
Aww... y'all are makin' me tear up! Thanks smile

Kathy it's about thirty miles from the office. About 1/2 a mile from a dear friend and soon to be again co-worker, so we may carpool if I can get her to sleep in past 5 am! She's always been an early riser and early to work.

There are a few level areas where a future dream house could be built on the property. Lots of peace and quiet, and an eastern view over the mountain tops for the sunrise.
The existing house is quite liveable in the mean time.
With Matt, I'd have already made an offer, but I find myself hesitating.

Tonight there are thunderstorms blazing through and I am off to early sleep. Visiting step daughter & granddaughter tomorrow, will need all the strength I can gather.



_________________________
CG to my husband, Matt. Dx June 2009 Stage IV Oropharengeal SCC right tonsil primary with distant metastases. Rad to neck- Surgeries to lungs- Every avail chemo - ran out of options Jan 2012, called for hospice help Feb 2012, at rest March 19, 2012.

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#148284 - 04/14/12 10:49 PM Re: Memories... [Re: CMMoore]
CMMoore Offline
Gold Member (200+ posts)

Registered: 07/01/09
Posts: 280
Loc: MO, USA
Too depressed to get out of the house today. Second guessing everything. Taking a big time out.
_________________________
CG to my husband, Matt. Dx June 2009 Stage IV Oropharengeal SCC right tonsil primary with distant metastases. Rad to neck- Surgeries to lungs- Every avail chemo - ran out of options Jan 2012, called for hospice help Feb 2012, at rest March 19, 2012.

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#148288 - 04/15/12 01:06 AM Re: Memories... [Re: CMMoore]
KP5 Offline
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 795
Loc: NY
So sorry Christine. I guess there will be days like this. I'm sure it's ok to give yourself a day off.
The land sounds just wonderful. Go with your heart. If you think Matt would have loved it, then go for it. Make a special place on the property that is your place to sit and talk to him! By the creek maybe?
No granddaughter visit today, but maybe tomorrow? Call some of those crazy girlfriends!! Wish I was closer!
Love ya'!
_________________________
Kathy wife/caregiver to:
Kevin age:53
Dx 7/15/11
HPV16+ SCC Stage IV BOT/R
Non smoker, casual drinker
7/27/11 Cistplatin, taxotere,5FU 2/3week sessions, followed by IMRT 125cgy x 60 (2x daily) w/Erbitux weekly. Last rad 10/26/11. Last Erbitux 10/27/11
PEG placed 9/1/11 Removed 11/8/11
Clear PET 10/2012

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#148296 - 04/15/12 01:46 AM Re: Memories... [Re: KP5]
Anne-Marie Offline
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)

Registered: 11/03/06
Posts: 2568
Loc: TN
_________________________
Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)




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#148338 - 04/16/12 12:26 AM Re: Memories... [Re: Anne-Marie]
CMMoore Offline
Gold Member (200+ posts)

Registered: 07/01/09
Posts: 280
Loc: MO, USA
Anne-Marie I have a list of scripture I wrote down in the days following Matt's death that I refer to often. It's great comfort when I remember to do it!

I did go visit my step daughter and grand daughter today. It was SO nice to spend time with them. I feel much better today.
The mood swings sure come on swiftly when grief strikes. I never know what will set it off. I journal daily, sometimes it seems hourly and that helps me a lot.

Several days have felt so incredibly long. I will feel like a week has passed and it's only been two days.

Work will be good for me. Definitely.

_________________________
CG to my husband, Matt. Dx June 2009 Stage IV Oropharengeal SCC right tonsil primary with distant metastases. Rad to neck- Surgeries to lungs- Every avail chemo - ran out of options Jan 2012, called for hospice help Feb 2012, at rest March 19, 2012.

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#148413 - 04/17/12 01:28 PM Re: Memories... [Re: CMMoore]
SUEZ Offline
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)

Registered: 07/21/10
Posts: 531
Loc: AURORA, OH
Christine
I wish I could buy that much beautiful property and live up my a river/creek and listen to the water running and watch wildlife hell I'd probably run some kind of dog shelter for Pitbulls!
_________________________
CG to Ron
Out of Pain 4/3/13
4/12-lung and under chin growth no treatment
1/13/12 lung biopsy
6/11 recur 6/30 resection #2 Clear margins
Clear 12/10
Surg 5/13/10 neck dis/nodes part gloss/flap R thigh all teeth out
RAD 30 8/10
DX 4/2/10 "Oral Cavity" T3NOMO
12/28/07 Non Hodg Lymph remission 7/08

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#148437 - 04/18/12 12:27 AM Re: Memories... [Re: SUEZ]
CMMoore Offline
Gold Member (200+ posts)

Registered: 07/01/09
Posts: 280
Loc: MO, USA
wish it had a creek! LOL
_________________________
CG to my husband, Matt. Dx June 2009 Stage IV Oropharengeal SCC right tonsil primary with distant metastases. Rad to neck- Surgeries to lungs- Every avail chemo - ran out of options Jan 2012, called for hospice help Feb 2012, at rest March 19, 2012.

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#148487 - 04/19/12 01:35 AM Re: Memories... [Re: CMMoore]
Sandy177 Offline
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)

Registered: 01/17/11
Posts: 571
Loc: California
One journey ended and another one began. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other...even when you don't want to put either one of 'em on the floor in the morning! Believe me, time will pass and you will heal. Be gentle with yourself. And, know that you are loved.

Sandy
xoxox
_________________________
Ex-spouse MISDIAGNOSED with SCC-HN IVa 12/10. Tonsils out 1/11. 4 teeth out 2/11. TX Erbitux x2, IMRT x2 2/11. 2nd opinion-benign BCC-NOT CANCER 3/11. TX stopped 3/11. New doctors 4/11. ENT agrees with 2nd opinion 5/11. ENT scoped him-all clear 7/11. Ordered MRI anyway. MRI 8/22/11 Result-all clear.

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