Thanks again everyone, your words help.

Im going to make an honest effort to find someone to talk to counselor wise. My friends are doing a good job of keeping me doing stuff and staying interested in school, but at night and the morning Im having trouble. Things are going better in the gym though, strength is returning and such. I dont feel defeated or like giving up the fight by any means, its just the dam un-motivated crap. Im going to take this summer off from school and hopefully that will help straighten me out some. My Mom has been right by my side through all of this , Im wondering if she should go with me to counseling or should she go on her own ?
I hated seeing her suffer through all this stuff with me, plus she takes care of my grandma who is slowly succumbing to dementia. I feel really bad that I cant make her life easier right now, she does so much and I really want to make things easier for her.

thanks again for your time,
-Jody

Jody - I am just sooo glad you found this place! So many thoughtful and practical suggestions above. My son went through some terrible depression and he had stuff to be depressed about even before his diagnoses of oral cancer. You mentioned your Mom and whether she should go with you to counseling. Perhaps you could discuss this with the therapist / counselor. There may be some times when you want to discuss things only with the counselor. I drove my son to all his appointments because with the meds he was on and the way he felt while going through radiation, driving was out of the question. I waited while he had his sessions with the therapist and after one session, he told me what the therapist said when my son had confided to him how badly he felt to be depending on his Mom so much for his care. Well, the therapist set him straight on that by comparing how he felt about his little 5-year-old daughter and asking him if he wouldn't do the same thing for her. I can tell you as a Mom, that being able to care for my son through all of his treatment is what helped me through the experience because it gave me something to do so that I could hold myself together and help my son fight the horrible thing that had attacked my son! I don't know how I could have survived myself if my son had someone else as his caregiver, having to sit back and worry and stress over everything. What you need to do is concentrate on YOU, right now and on the positive steps you are taking, like your decision to find a counselor you can talk to. It really does help to give you perspective on any situation. Psychology hasn't been around that long and only relatively recently has it been accepted in the medical field but it's like that with anything fairly new. Depending on how your Mom feels, she might benefit from talking to someone, as well. When my son, Paul had just started Rad Tx is when we first found out about this OCF forum and what help me so much was coming here every day and several times a day. So tell your Mom she would be most welcome to come here and see how other caregivers have been able to cope with this difficult journey.

Jody, so glad to hear you will seek out some one to talk to. I think its an important part of the recovery process. If your mom would go she probably would have her own private things she needs to address. Might be good to see seperate people.

Best wishes!