Hey me too! I have a kick butt smoothie every morning. fruit puree, protein powder (non animal non milk based), chocolate and plain (unsweetened) almond milk, fresh fruit, and a bit of flax oil and cottage cheese... awesomeness (cheesecake in a cup!)

I was also going to second Eric's comment. If you ever want to get off a peg, (and there's no physical reason preventing it) - then start to eat and push yourself. Otherwise as he said... if you don't use it you lose it. if you don't try to maintain your swallowing reflex you will lose it eventually and then even if you want to give up the PEG, you may not be able to. We can make suggestions- but only you can do what has to be done. hugs and take care.

I am sorry if I sounded desperate in my 3 posts, but I am. I am so sick of being sick. I would give anything to go to Capital Grille and eat a steak!

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for responding. I appreciate it.

Thank you Eric. Sorry to sound so desperate, but I am. I just want to be "normal" again. Even though that is not possible - still going every Friday for my Taxol treatment....Medical marijuana is not legal in CT. Shame.

A former wrestler - how exciting! I live in Stamford, CT where WWE is based. I see the guys all the time at the mall, etc.

Thank you again for your understanding and response. I truly appreciate it.

Christine,

I too have a tooth issue. All of my teeth on the lower left side of my mouth were removed. Before radiation and chemo I was able to eat soft food, or my husband put food in the blender for me.

All I want is to have my teeth replaced. My surgeon won't let me get implants since my jaw was rebuilt. I am looking to have dentures but have to wait until chemo is done.

Are you looking to have your teeth replaced or is that not an option??

Thank you for your response. I look forward to keeping in touch with you.

And don't measure success by how much you ENJOY the act of eating. For now eating is like exercise. You may not like it but it is good for you.

My husband finished radiation and chemo 3 weeks ago. He shed tears in my presence only a few times during this ordeal. One of those times was when he was staring at a meal that he would normally have loved. But he didn't want it. But he HAD to have something. He WANTED to WANT it so bad. All of us, including the caregivers, can relate to your struggle.

Maybe the theme for not rushing things on this board should be "baby bites" instead of baby steps. Be patient and be proud.

There are so many things I have lost, quality things, due to cancer TX, but depression is so easy to slip into, I feel like a drunkard, one lapse into depression is too much, I would be lost again.
I have only one choice, to live.
The best I can, I look around, and note so many other people who are so much worse off than I am, and no matter how they are handling their conditions, they give me Reason to do better for myself, my wife, those who love and/or care about me.
To some, I am an inspiration, and it's therfore my duty, to do as well as I can, and as I go about that lifestyle, I realize I am no longer depressed, I begin to feel better about the quality of my life.
The more I give to others, the Richer my life.

The "baby bites" mentioned above is a really good thing to keep in mind and the same principle can be applied to depression. When you first notice it, try to give it a time limit - say one minute or less and then switch to something more positive no matter how small the positive is and take "baby bites". As a CG to my son, I knew I could not expect him to right away come out of his depression - it takes very small, gradual steps. When I noticed his "down" mood I would ask him on a scale of 1-10 how low he felt and if he said "3" I would ask if he could just work on bringing himself up to a 4 or 5. There is also what I call the "Little Engine that Could" principle. (Children's story about a little train engine that must go up a hill and he keeps saying "I think I can, I think I can" and he finally succeeds in getting over the hill!) If you can at least fake it, and pretend you are slowly coming out of the depression ("I think I can, I think I can"), then, soon - you begin to believe it! It IS possible to climb out of the dark hole of depression and get over the hill. My son did! (me, too) Believe it!

Gail,
People made some great points here. Most of us have been in the "eating is an exercise" mode at some point. We eat because we know we should, it will make us feel better. I sure do not remember much that actually tasted good to me during treatment, like you would at a restaurant. I loved soups, that might be possible if they weren't hot.

And the big goal is getting well. The intermediate goal is feeling some better. The first goal or goals is/are, perhaps, eating a few bites, getting a little exercise, watching a TV program that makes us laugh, talking to family, whatever else you can think of.

I know this is easy to say, hard to do. But actually most of us on this site have had our struggles, some less, some more, in this area.
Sorry you are having such a hard time.
Best,
Anne