New consultant: found swollen lymph node 1 cm - might be a muscle or a tethering but he has ordered FNA with ultrasound. Have no idea when that appointment will be. After that my already sore tongue started to hurt like hell. Nerves, I thought: that mind-body connection. Went to GP: an ulcer under tongue near join with flap. Could be a normal apthous ulcer or "sinister". A double-banger and only a month or so after my last punch biopsy.

The ulcer improved after a day or so with Orabase but is still there. I can't see it because my tongue is such a mess and so stiff that I can't manoeuvre myself in the mirror. I'll give it about five more days ...I'm taking painkillers all the time because if I have pain I worry and because I'm at such a busy time of the year with family staying and the school year drawing to a close: exams and reports.

As chance would have it I was booked into the Auckland Hospital ENT for them to do a review of my case on December 14. By then the FNA and ulcer situation might have come to good or bad fruition. So that day is my D-Day.

A long time to wait.

That sucks... I know the feeling... Long time -!more stress, and the small things derail you. I had one of those days last week. It's when rationality hits irrationality and everything kinda just falls a apart. I'm six mos out from radiation, and the latest ct noted 2 nodes on my non operative, but also radiated side! They are noted but considered normal (within the size parameters! 8mm & 6mm) but it still makes me a nervous wreck and skeevy - ugh! Why report the if they are normal? They aren't clustered there are In two different areas, but still! I'm not supposed to know the report results just yet I'm getting them officially tomorrow! Hopefully my dr. Doesn't look at the results and say ... Normal! Because I know the full detail of the report. I think I would prefer an FNA. Just to be in the safe side. I could very well be fighting something, but I want to know for sure. I trust my drs. But frankly my health is my health and no one will look after it the way I will... So believe me I know the tension you are feeling. Will keep my fingers crossed and toes, and say prayers for you that your ulcer clears before then, and that your node is just misbehaving. take care and hugs... This disease is scary stuff. And it blind sides you ocassionally !

Thanks Cheryl. Nervous wreck is an apt term for how I feel about almost back to back biopsies. Doctors have to be vigilant but I wish there was a way of getting instant results. I was reading an article last night about a doctor who contracted cancer and was astounded about the "toxic uncertainty" of the wait for results. He thought the stress was bad for patients.
But from one nervous wreck to the other, here's hoping:)

I am sorry that you are again going through such uncertainty Maureen.
I hope it is just an ulcer that goes away soon but having pain is certainly a worry! Like you I got the all clear after a biopsy in March, visit with oral surgeon in August and last 6 month (5 minute)check at cancer clinic September. A referral to another surgeon for some laser �tidying up� between tongue and flap (day surgery under general) has now led to another biopsy at same time in January. Quote �I see a white spot at the back that I will biopsy at the same time�.
Like you I am hoping it has gone by then and was nothing but unlike you I have no symptoms. Then again I didn�t have any 5 years ago either!
Easier said than done but try not to stress too much. I know you have a lot going and now even more with Christmas coming up. When it all gets too much take yourself away for a break in the beautiful places you have close by and take pics
Gabriele xx

Gabe!!! Here's to hoping you both are clear!! Hugs and love to you both... Aren't we all in a pickle!

Girls, girls, girls. Like I've always said, I am the queen of wimps every time I have a PET scan, CT scan, biopsy, or just anything where I have to wait for the results, so I very much sympathize with you. I will be thinking of you and pray you all have good results. I'd say, "Try not to worry," but you would all laugh at me (because I'm such a wimp). Hope to hear good news soon.
julieann

Sending hugs and wishing peace to all of you!

I highly recommend finding a "happy place" and going there when waiting gets tough. It worked for me for the 5 months of waiting between when treatment was suspended and getting the final scan.

Waiting will drive you nuts. But, try not to let it steal any more of your life than OC has already taken. Don't let the monster win.

Love to all,
Sandy
xoxox

As Tom Petty says in a song, "The waiting is the hardest part...". That's all I can hear in my head every time I experience waiting for test results. I'm sorry that you have to wait so long. The anixety is the worst for me, because I am anxious at baseline. The other day, by SO's office called to move my appointment to a different time. I saw his number on the caller ID and my heart sank/blood ran cold...so that's how bad I am! I just hope you can have some peace and relaxation during your wait. Here's to wishing and hoping for an all-clear and that this is only a nuisance.

With great care,
Kerri

Thanks everyone and Gabe, I have lots of whiteness too. The tidying up sounds good but biopsies are such fateful little monsters. I don't know if it's wimpishness or a vivid imagination that makes us fret before anything bad has actually happened! Maybe it's the lack of control: someone else has our future in a test tube ...
I've just told my school that I won't be back next year. Living with this uncertainty plus an unwell husband plus the stresses of teaching at 65 ... Time I retired anyway. Proud I taught for a whole year with half a tongue.
And yes, I'm certainly going to escape somewhere this week for some personal thinking time. I have to prepare for the worst and think of a whole lot of points of clarification if this is yet another false alarm.

Hugs - we'll wait with you!!! Vent at will! good luck!