Just adding my hello and welcome. Sounds like you are getting things organised and are already gettin some good advise. good for you.

Thank you everyone for the great welcome and advice! while i really don't want to be here I think having this support is going to be so critical.

Christine, I have 3 girls who are 8,14 and 16 and then a 12 yr old stepson as well. None of my family lives here so that is really hard for me, even this early on and I know im going to miss them even more as this goes on. 2 of my sisters are trying to make arrangements to come and see me, probably after cmas. My husbands family- i have his sister her husband but that's it. I am lucky I some really good friends who I know will be here for whatever I need from them.

I know it's not something to look forward to but if you can get most of it taken care of before christmas it's in your best interest as everything slows to a slow crawl then for three weeks. hugs and take care.

True,
Cheryl. I was diagnosed on dec 22 and didn't start tx til march.

Wow that's a long wait and if a friend hadn't helped me it would have been the same for me!!

Hi Shannon,
So sorry you are here, but like everyone has said, it really is a great support system. There are so many people here that almost every situation is covered!!
We have 3 children ages 14,12 and 10. One thing that I did was take my kids to the clinics for a tour. The Drs, etc were wonderful. They gave the kids information based on their ages to help them understand and also let them ask any questions. Our middle son had many and it was so great to have someone else explain things to him. My husband and I were still kind of in the "deer in the headlights" phase so it was hard to answer their questions. It also helped because when we said "we're going to chemo", they knew where we were. They could picture it. Same when we started radiation. When my husband talked about his mask, they could picture it. That and the table, etc. Really helped give the kids some peace.
Another thing my sister set up was a website with lotsahelpinghands.com. It is a way for friends and neighbors to sign up and bring meals in as often as possible. It was a God send for us as there were days we would be out all day and when we got home we had 3 hungry kids and mom. (My 86 year old mom lives with us too.) The meals being broughtin, can't even explain the weight that took off my shoulders. Well, you're a mom, so, you know. You will be so tired Shannon. This sign up for dinners will bless you.
Be sure to keep in touch on here.
Blessings and peace to you,
Kathy

I would suggest to get yourself 7 helpers and give every one of them a day to be helping you with your children. Then sign up about 5 more as alternates or helpers to help out with other tasks. Nobody gets thru this easily without help. You may even lose your ability to drive and speak. I lost my voice for about 2 or 3 weeks. I stopped driving about week 2 of radiation. Thats just me, not everyone stops driving. I wasnt in any condition being on some heavy meds to drive the 45 minutes each way to treatment. It hit me so hard that towards the end, I stayed in bed for about 20 to 22 hours a day. I was hospitalized for malnutrition and dehydration. Of course these things do not happen to everyone. I am not trying to scare you but I want you to see how debilitating oral cancer treatments can be. Its always better to over prepare than to be caught unprepared. Some patients sail right thru while others struggle, I was one who struggled. Please make sure you are taking very good care of yourself now. Push to eat a healthy diet with lots of calories. You need to be strong going into this so your body can withstand whatever treatment your doctors give you.

Best wishes!

Shannon - I'm just so glad you are getting such great support and suggestions! Another thing you might think about is making a spreadsheet with names of doctors you come in contact with and also office personnel with their names and phone numbers for you or for anyone else who is offering to help with daily trips/activities etc. And include medications, what they are for and what the schedule is for taking them. Include a section for comments/reminders. Being prepared like you are doing is also a good way to avoid some of the stress and to be on top of things. Make sure you keep in touch and let us know what's happening.

Shannon, I want to add my welcome. What you've been diagnosed with sucks, to be blunt. But we've all been down the road one way or another and we are 100% here for you and ready to help in any way we can.

Please keep us posted on everything that happens, and ask any and all questions. There are no such thing as stupid ones! (I should know, I was pretty stupid about all of it when I started out; whether I'm any smarter today is still open to debate)

Courage!