My mom is 70 yrs. old and had a partial glossectomy(tumor plus about 1/6 of tongue)and modified radical neck dissection(7 out of 29 lymph nodes positive plus extranodal cancer) three weeks ago tomorrow.We are seeing the radiation oncologist tomorrow.We are terrified about the radiation due to all the horror stories we have read about radiation side effects.She is doing well post-op.Her nasalgastric feeding tube is out and she is eating soft food.she is thinking
about not taking radiation.Help!I am so grateful
to have found this web site!Thanks in advance.

My mother was 78 when she had radiation and chemo for oral cancer. It was no picnic for her and I'm sure her age played a part. She had some really bad days, some days she would have just have given in if she hadn't had her children pushing her. She survived the radiation and later she had extensive surgery to remove more than 1/2 her tongue, jaw and floor of mouth, because the cancer recurred. She is now 80 has been cancer free for over a year and is living on her own and doing quite well. She even drives herself places. Not like she used to, but that is part of being 80 also. She is still as sharp as ever and her sense of humor has stayed with her throughout. There are many side effects from her ordeal,like slurred speech and eating difficulties, but she is glad she fought the disease and is still kicking. Like I said it was very tough for her, but she's still here and all in all doing very nicely. I wish you and your mother the very best of luck and she can pull it off with a lot of support from her family.

VB - bravo to your mom!! What a positive and inspiring story - especially for someone to be in that age group and can prove that a person can be a survivor - no matter how old you are and what your situation is. Best of luck for continued health and success to your mom - and to CathyG - this post by VB should give your mom a boost. The side effects of radiation vary from person to person, but she CAN get through this! Wishing her all the best.

While radiation treatments and their side effects are no walk in the park, I wouldn't hesitate to do it all over again. After all, without them I wouldn't be here today. And in the overall scheme of things, that year of discomfort, pain, depression etc. has helped me to grow as a person. Perhaps there is some truth in the saying that adversity builds character. It certainly has changed my outlook on life. The consequences of declining treatment are not to be taken lightly, and the resulting manner of leaving this mortal world via cancer certainly is more painful and scary than radiation

Hi CathyG,

I would personally not use the word horrible to describe the radiation treatments. Granted some people experience worse than typical side effects, but even with that, the opportunity to win the battle over this disease is enhanced significantly by having the treatments. Your mother, if in good health otherwise, has a resonable chance of 10 to 15 additional years maybe more. That is a pretty big chunk of a lifetime still left.

Where I would use the word horrible is when describing the cancer left to run it's course.

Take care

Thank you so much everyone for the great input.We just came back from the seeing the radiation oncologist and my mom has decided to go through with the radiation.That is a really good point you make Mark about radiation side effects vs. the agony of cancer spreading without it.What a comfort to have this forum to discuss fears,questions and to hear from those who have been through it.Brian Hill-you are a gift from God!

Hi Cathy:

Just want to welcome you and your mom to the OCF Board. Luckily, you came to the right place to get sage advice from radiation veterans.You'll probably have tons of questions as you go along so feel free to send them our way.

By far, the hardest part is being present while someone you love struggles to eat, get comfy,breathe, sleep, and function in general.There are many moments when running as fast as possible and as far away from the radiation department as possible seems a much saner choice than wading through the hell that is radiation. However, many here subscribe to the motto-"when in hell keep on going" and have made it through and your mom can too.Try really hard (and I didn't believe it right away when I was told by the folks here) to keep in mind that radiation is short term awful for a long term greater good.

Best to you and your mom & keep us posted,

Kim

Thank you for the compliment, though I can assure you that not everyone would agree with you. My mother told me once that I should never consider entering the diplomatic corps, and reading some of my posts here certainly prove her right. With a tendency, (particularly after surviving cancer) to not waste my time on frivolous things, or suffer fools for any extended period of time, I tend to be blunt and to the point. I hope that honest answers, and candid opinions based in experience benefit others. Sometime I succeed, sometimes not. Perhaps the best thing that I have done is having contributed a place, where many compassionate and knowledgeable people can share their strengths and insights with those that are following down the same path. These are the people that deserve the real credit, not me. There are a couple of quotes that gave me the impetus to start OCF.

"Never doubt that a small, group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has".

And,

[quote]Originally posted by Brian Hill:
"Never doubt that a small, group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has".
Margaret Mead

“I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people who are convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference after another." Ellen Goodman

Many times that difference is just in the life of one other person. The people on this board, those that return to help again and again, exemplify the essence of those two quotes. They are what make it all work. Brian Hill[/quote]