Hang in there. I know the waiting is very hard. Soon you'll be on the other side of this and on the road to recovery.

Hi Bean,

Sweetie, breathe deeply then exhale a few times. Concentrate on capturing a sense of calm and peace for yourself. When I went through the waiting process, I mentally escaped to my 'happy place'...it can be anywhere you feel safe and worryfree. It helped me keep my sanity until we got the final scan results. I had an extended stay in my happy place--we had to wait from March until August.

Waiting is scary, frustrating, and causes crippling anxiety. But, if there is no way to change the time frame of when you can be seen by your ENT, then please try to relax and focus on something else. Acceptance can be a wonderful gift to give yourself. It is easier said than done, I know. But, use this time productively. If you get a cancer diagnosis, you will be launched into a whirlwind of activity and will be glad you took care a few things before your attention is diverted elsewhere.

If it isn't something that needs treatment, then you would have wasted a lot of time, energy, and potentially ruined your health worrying for nothing.

Don't let cancer take anything more away from you until your doctors say it's time to give it something. You may never have to give cancer anything. That would make me a very happy person. Too many of my friends and family--at home and on the OCF forum--have had to sacrifice dearly because of oral cancer. Sometimes the sacrifices were life-saving...other times, it was not. Live your life and enjoy it--even while waiting for answers. Don't let cancer rob you of one minute of living. If not for yourself, please do it in memory of others who lost the fight after sacrificing so much.

Hi, Bean -

The day I got my cancer diagnosis, I got a call from a friend who had terminal cancer. He said, "Marlene. You're not going to die today. You're not going to die tomorrow. You know what I'm doing? I'm sitting on my porch with my wife and enjoying a glass of wine." Kinda put my diagnosis in perspective, & it was the best phone call I could have received.

I know that fear can drive you crazy. Slow down that monkey brain, if you can. Deal with what you know today. Today you know you don't have cancer. Today you are not a burden on your family. Today you are not in a nursing home. Today you are not in hospice. Chances are, you won't be in a nursing home tomorrow, either.

If your dysplasia has developed into cancer, you don't know what, if any treatment you may need. Surgery may be all you need, but you've put yourself on that radiation table and have given yourself an experience you say you or your family couldn't live with. That's Fear talking, again.

I know it's difficult to tame fear because it wants to control you. Fear is a bully. Many years ago a relative's soon-to-be-ex husband broke into my house & trashed it. She didn't want me to call the police because she feared he would do something worse. I was afraid of the guy, but it was fear that caused me to call the police so I could get some protection. You have good reason to be fearful - especially during this time of uncertainty - but use your fear productively: let it take you to the doctor.

Re dysplasia. I was first diagnosed with severe dysplasia - the cells *had* gone to the dark side. My surgery cleared up mysteries in my diagnosis, and I didn't need radiation or chemotherapy. I hope your outcome will be as positive.

Until you have some answers, please come here to vent. There are so many wonderful people on this forum who have seen, heard and experienced just about everything about Oral Cancer; & we've all experienced fear. We're here to help you fight it.

Peace,
Marlene

I know it's scary but freaking yourself out will be of no help! try to focus in other things! Wait to see what your ENT thinks then take it on step at a time.

You are all that is keeping Me sane, I am fearing and welcoming this visit with the ENT on Thursday, I am a praying Woman but because I never quit smoking after the last Biopsy I am too ashamed to ask for His help and protection once again:( I am not sure what I will do after His diagnosis but You all have been Heaven sent throughout this time and I so want to be strong and helpful to Others that may be facing this when I wished NO ONE ever has to,,,,with <3 Bean

Hugs hun... We'll add you to our prayers. And god forgives he loves you as he made you - I'm sure there are far worse people out there who pray to him, so pray as much as you want! If you do get a c diagnosis, the best way to deal with it is one thing at a time! Take care and good luck!

Hi Bean!
We are all broken vessels. God gets that. He will pick us up as many times as we fall. Please be as gentle with yourself as God would be.

I will keep you in my prayers for you to be completely healthy...and for you to have the willpower to stay away from tobacco!

Love,
Sandy
xoxoxox

Bean,

I asked my doctor how soon I should quit smoking after he had delivered the news about my biopsy being positive. He said a few days were not going to make a great deal of difference after 30 years of smoking but he wanted me to have quit at least one week before treatment began.

This gave me a few weeks to wind my smoking down to a few cigs a day and to get a few self-help books. I also went on the patches and then kept some nicotine mints around for those sudden urges.

I had fully and finally quit a week before I went into treatment. Take some time and work your way into quitting the cigs. Make a plan, look for any support you can get and then just follow through. There are some great support groups on the net so you might want to try that.

The key here is to give yourself time to implement a plan and then get to the point where you are a nonsmoker. It does not have to happen overnight but it will need to happen fairly soon (it took me three weeks).

Best of luck, I know you can do this.

I am going to the ENT Tomorrow and it is about 45 minites away for the second opinion,,,,I have a couple Loved ones that offered to go with Me but I said No, I will do this alone,,,Should I be concerned as I have to drive back home by Myself?

Bean,

I was alone when I was first given my news and I don't recommend it. Take someone, strength in numbers.

Keep your chin up,

Eric