Hello everyone,

Just needing a place to think out loud.

I hit the five year-all clear mark back in April. Just two months later, I was surprised to have a recurrence at the primary site. For the first time in six years, I realized that living with cancer is no different than living with any other ongoing lifelong disease. I realize that sounds negative--I don't mean to be negative. I just want to be realistic about the situation. I finished radiation, chemo, surgery and moved on with my life. Went for my follow-ups, reported any concerns I had.

I am thankful to have been cancer-free for five years. but at the same time, it is naive and a bit irresponsible on my part to think that I will ever be truly cancer-free. This is tough!

Thanks---I just needed to get that out!

Wow!!! Sound like it's very slow growing! I know it sucks - you think because they tell you after 5 years its unheard of - in terms of a recurrence - so you relax! Then ugh! Sorry to hear it came back - there is a new prtein therapy available but I'm not sure what the timeline is on it.. Hugs to you and good luck!

Angela, I know the shock you are going thru. I am a 3 time survivor of OC. I want you to know that there is hope you can get thru this and go on to lead a productive life. Sure I have some limitations, but they are manageable. Do you have a treatment plan yet? Please keep posting so we can help support you thru this battle.

Angela

It's not fair, is it? Why did our cancer come back while others are "cured"? We had the same treatments, suffered as much or more, yet we have to have our hopes and dreams dashed one more time. I found this write up at the American Cancer Society to be helpful reading. When your cancer comes back These were the two sections that comforted me the most when my cancer came back:
[quote]Could I have done something to prevent the recurrence?

Although eating right, exercising, and seeing your doctor for follow-up visits are important, please understand that there probably was nothing you could do to keep your cancer from coming back. Many patients blame themselves for missing a doctor visit, not eating right, or putting off a CT scan for a family vacation. But even if you do everything just right, the cancer might still come back.

Sometimes people think taking certain vitamins, herbs, or other dietary supplements will give them an extra edge in preventing recurrence. But the available research does not support this belief. In fact, some research has shown that supplements containing high levels of single nutrients (more than the Dietary Reference Intakes and the tolerable upper intake limits) may have unexpected harmful effects on cancer survivors.

It would be very satisfying to have something we could use to keep cancer from coming back after treatment. We want a real weapon to fight back with -� something that will give us insurance against the cancer coming back. Both doctors and patients wish that there were such a magic potion or formula. But at this time there is nothing you could have done to make sure the cancer would not come back. Even with our current understanding of the process of cancer development and growth, this disease is mostly a mystery and not within human control.
[/quote]

[quote]What about the �why� questions?
�So many people live the rest of their lives without their cancer coming back! Why me?�

For some people, looking for an answer to the �why� question can cause many sleepless nights and incredible soul searching. Others find that it doesn�t really matter why something has happened � how to best deal with it is more important. Many people think that if they knew why something has happened � and then they can do or stop doing something � somehow the situation will change. While this notion is not usually rational, it helps to understand the way people think. We all look for reasons for what happens in our lives. It is hard to accept that cancer can be a random event and that there may be no answer to why a person develops cancer. Many things can influence the development of cancer � these can be genetic, environmental, or related to something a person did. Most people never know why they have cancer, so trying to find the answer to this question only leads to frustration, sadness, or anger. This is the kind of question that doesn�t help right now. Rather than look for an answer, most people would rather spend their time and energy trying to get better and enjoying time with loved ones.

The bottom line in answering the �why� question is that knowing the answer to the question will not change what happens next. Worrying about �why� can drain people of energy which is better used in coping with the illness. Consider getting some counseling if you find yourself unable to move beyond this question.
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Keep the Faith
Charm

I am so sorry to hear that you have a recurrence Angela.
Your post hit home with me as I am coming up to my 5 years in 2 months.
Best wishes for your upcoming surgery. Please keep us updated.
As Christine says there are people here who have had 2 or 3 recurrences.
Charm...thank you for your input as I certainly found it helpful to read.
Gabriele

Thank you Charm for your post. It definitely helped me. Thanx again.

Minh

Angela, share as much as you need to get that out and deal with it. We are here to support my dear.

Charm, great info thanks for sharing that my friend.

Here's to coping

Eric

Angela,
What a wonderful name. I am so sorry to hear about your recurrence. This is the place to be for support and encouragement. Vent all you need to. All of us have needed to vent a time or to. We are here for you.

Wow, Angela. What an eye opener. I guess we really never know if we are "cured," but, like Christine, you can do it. It is horrible that you have to, but you can. I will think of you and add you to my prayer list every night. Keep us posted on how you are doing. Hopefully, this will be the last recurrance you ever have. There are less people on the Forum that have recurrances than don't, so lets pray this will be the case with you after this one.
julieann

Hi Angela, you should consider yourself lucky to have been disease-free for more than 5 years. With Cancer, unfortunately the probablity of recurrence is higher than any other disease and that is why you need regular follow-ups (apart of statistical reason).

What I have realized that it may be easier to live assuming (I would not use the word Fear here) that you may have recurrence rather than being caught off-guard with too many question!

My father had a recurrence in 2 years and when his doctor told him that they would have to treat him, he said "I got a lease of 2 years and would be more than happy if I could get more"

Anyways, recurrence is treatable and certainly yes in your case. Take good care and plan for the future course of treatment.