Hi. I am mrsM and my Mother-in-law has Tongue Cancer (on the left side of her tongue) and it has caused her tongue to bleed and swell at times during her treatment. She is quite secretive to her cancer (not even admitting/telling her son/I for nearly 4 years). I am seeking information to help her or get some advice.

She is in her mid 70s, 85 lbs or so (always been somewhat petite). She was a drinker of a south american tea drink (mate) for 55+ years (which we think caused the tongue cancer but not confirmed, just speculation although its on the cancer institute's website that it has a carcinogenic in the tea - nice huh?). She's always been in shape and healthy, doing most things naturally (no drugs).

I was wondering is there anyone out there with tongue cancer that had a positive result with a natural remedy and what was it? She did do chemo/radiation (not sure if it was real chemo) and advil for treatment along with rinsing salt in the mouth and somehow 3+ years ago went into remission.

Approx 5-7 months ago the tongue cancer came back and I think its bad. I saw it and it's partially white/red on the left side of her tongue from back to front. It looks painful and the smell is horrible because she can't really eat much. Recently the loss of blood from her tongue left her with 4 pints of blood in her body, which nearly killed her. A blood transfusion saved her life, although her legs are so swollen from fluid retention. We are waiting on tests and have pretty much found out it has spread to her lymph nodes.

Any advice or your story would greatly help. She has continued to not want any type of pain medication in her system and she is obviously suffering badly. Her face has become disfigured with the tongue cancer causing it to look really different. Her body is frail and boney and her spirits seem to be okay. Her mind seems to have been altered and the memory is fading. Thank you for the vent. It's really sad to see her suffering. Thanks!

Sadly by your description it sounds like she may be to advanced to be helped other than pain meds to keep her somewhat comfortable until she passes. IMO she needs to be in the hands of Hospice. Does she have a Health Care POA and/or an Advanced Health Care Directive?

Thanks for the info David. I too think she needs Hospice or Dibility Hospice, however she's a stubborn woman not accepting the end is near, which is another sad thing alone. I have to ask her daughter if she has a POA or AHCD signed as it's important while her mind is still in tact.

She can only communicate with us via a writing pad and that is hard to read. She can walk around and just looks weak and fragile.

We are in California and I was wondering if anyone knows of any assistance besides IHSS (in home support services), and hospice that is available for low income.

MrsM, welcome to OCF. Im sorry that you are going thru this with your mother in law. Her being secretive about her health is definetly not helping her situation. It makes it so much harder to help her. Not sure if you can answer these questions, but it would help us to help you....

How do you know by looking in your mother in law's mouth that she has cancer?
Why do you think that there has been a spread to her lymph nodes?
Has she been hospitalized?
What are the tests that you are waiting for results on?
Has she had a biopsy?
Does she have a feeding tube?
Is she being treated at a cancer center?
Do you know for certain if she has had radiation already?

Radiation treatments are difficult to get thru. She would have needed someone to help her. After my second week of radiation, I no longer drove. Most of us have required strong pain medications.

Nobody has been cured of oral cancer by any natural remedies. The only known cures are radiation with or without chemo and/or surgery. Swollen legs are not a side effect of oral cancer.

If she has not yet gone to a cancer center please take her to one. Give her the best shot at curing this and get her there right away. I hope she will let you help her. Now is not the time to be stubborn.



I just saw David responded to your post. I am hoping that there is still a chance. Im sorry if it is too advanced and she needs hospice. I still would suggest that she is seen at a cancer center for an evaluation.

Sorry but I dont know what is available in CA. Maybe asking at the place she has gone for treatment already.

Thanks Christine for your reply!

I too agree not being honest about the illness is not helping her - believe me! I will answer your questions above best as possible.


How do you know by looking in your mother in law's mouth that she has cancer?
I saw her end of October and she can't really open her mouth too much because her tongue is so swollen and the smell is bad. She couldn't eat much at that point and I saw the side of her tongue was white with red. She was showing me when we got interupted, which shocked me. She had a biopsy in June (I think that was the month) and results were pending end of June. She finally told us her tongue cancer came back. She told us in August and stopped treatment in Sept/Oct from what SIL said. She confirmed her Mom had tongue cancer.

Why do you think that there has been a spread to her lymph nodes?
Her daughter said she thought it spread. The MIL/SIL NEVER claim anything like that, they don't even like to mention the word CANCER, afraid it might make them worse - negative thinking to them, even though your inquiring. I just hope SIL is wrong.

Has she been hospitalized?
She was just hospitalized because she almost bled to death. She lost about 8/9 pints of blood, leaving her with 4 pints (you have 12-13 pints). She had a transfusion with 4 bags of blood over 8 hours and it may have saved her life. Proabably from loss of blood she became swollen so badly. Still in the hospital 4/5 days later.

What are the tests that you are waiting for results on?
She is having some labs and probably a scan to see if the cancer spread, not sure how long it takes in a hospital setting. Not sure on all of her testing as she is so secretive about anything these days. I am sure the fear is setting in, although she let me tell the nurse not to let a PA in her room because she wasn't comfy, so she trusted me. She knows I will protect her.

Has she had a biopsy?
I am guess since my SIL said it was cancer of her tongue, and she didn't know the stage or grade of it or maybe she didn't want to say, not sure, some people tune that stuff out when they hear cancer. She had surgery to remove the tumor on her tongue 4 say years ago (give or take) and no chemo was needed. She was in remission until a few months ago. This is her 2nd round of treatment, well she quit it 2 months or so ago since it was more than she can handle. I would suspect cancer in this case if left untreated could spead quickly, not sure.

Does she have a feeding tube? No
Is she being treated at a cancer center?
They just found one for her however she was put in the hospital on Christmas due to the blood loss. I am not sure on options at this point. I hope this is not the end for her and hope for an option. I told my SIL let's take her to the cancer center together I can help her and she never got back to me, so stubborn I tell you!

Do you know for certain if she has had radiation already?
Yes she had it and it nearly killed her. She did it a dozen times of so at a holistic place along wtith some other treatment (hydrotherapy possibly). She would have treatment and then come home and be sick and sleep for a few days. She said she only felt better on the 3/4th day after treatment and told her MD she didn't want it anymore, it was too much for her to handle.

I am a cancer advocate and a strong voice to get her help. Her son *my spouse* will not ask questions about it (because he doesn't want to make Mom mad) and his sister is nearly the same way - quiet and MIL can't hardly speak, she writes everything down. It just makes me mad she is stubborn over any kind of treatment at this point, so maybe she knows something more than we do. I inquire because I care too damn much. I do appreciate your input too!

My Dad died in 94 of liver cancer and MIL has that same look as my father, sick, pale and skinny (def not feeling strong) and weak. I just hope in the time she may have left she doesn't suffer because it's horrible. I speak up for anyone who needs the help, voice or friend, that's just in my blood.

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer the questions. You sure have your work cut out for you! Sounds like for every attempt you make to try to get her help it gets met with opposition. Thats really so sad. I am so sorry for what you are going thru with your MIL.

From what you wrote about her radiation treatments, it does not sound like the same radiation treatments most oral cancer patients have gone thru. Most of us were treated every day Mon-Fri. We did not get the luxury of sleeping for a few days after a treatment. This might have been one of your MILs natural remedies???? I dont know anything about hydrotherapy.

I really hope that your MIL will allow you to take her to a cancer center to be evaluated. She will have to tell them her history so they can help her. Im afraid if she doesnt get seen soon that it may become too late for her to get help.

Oral cancer doesnt respond to chemo alone. Chemo is only given by itself for pallitive care. Most people who have chemo are given it along with radiation, it helps the radiation kill the cancer.

I hope that somehow you will be able to talk some sense into your MIL. Try to help her to understand that you will be her voice. She needs help and by refusing it, things will only get worse. When untreated this is a very painful and difficult path to take. Please do your best to get her to a cancer center and thats all you can do.

Best wishes!

There is a "natural remedy" for oral cancer - death.

Only legitimate, scientifically proven medical treatment, has been proven to be efficacious for the treatment and/or mitigation of cancer (in all of its forms). From your explanation provided to Christine, it sounds like she has not had a valid treatment plan or failed to complete one.

Incidentally we have had patients here , in their 80's "handle" the treatment, which is very brutal at any age.

Hospice care is free in most areas of California and is also covered by Medicare/Medical - call your local hospital social services for referals or Google hospice care in your area. Having personal experience with hospice twice I cannot sing their praises loudly enough. They manage the pain, monitor the patient, train the caregivers, provide aids, bathing, respite care, etc. and provide for the highest quality of life possible for end stage patients

MrsM, not really anything I can add to all this great advice. But I wanted you to know that my thoughts are with you and your mother-in-law, as I'm sure are those of everyone here.
david2

Thank you Christine, Gary and David for your input and kind words.

I did finally get some answers last night about the situation. Apparently she couldn't handle the radiation (not chemo - but might be same thing, not sure) so she only did one then went back 2-3 weeks later (which doesn't do anything). This was two+ months ago. MILs beliefs are a bit wacked (in my opinion and probably every cancer patient too) and this so-called natural remedy is her killing herself in my eyes. She gave up because she thinks radiation damages herself and for some it does speed up cancer (or its just too fast to slow down).

This is a person who was always thought our big screen TV would cause radiation to our children and always wanted the TV off when she was here (note she never got her way) so I never thought to myself she would do modern day radiation. I even told my SIL and MIL 3-4 months ago about a radiation pill and ask the MD about and thats when they said, no medication etc and I said your foolish.

At this time I did find out she is stage 4, and there are no options for her. My SIL informed me once I asked how did they determine it (labs, scans what?) and she said I don't know (again here with go with vague information). I told her if they did no tests then I would get a 2nd opinion because maybe there is hope, just maybe.

She must have dibility hospice and we have to get her signed up for In Home Support Services. The great part is that all of this (including posssibly placing her in a home) is covered by Medi-Care, which shocks me. Her kids hate to put her in a home and for now we will get Hospice involved since they think months and who really knows.

It just saddens me for my spouse, this is his Mother and hard to say goodbye. Life is so precious and fragile and I wish she wasn't so damn stubborn and go with modern medicine. Well thanks for listening and I really honestly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart!