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I don't want to step on SueMarie's post about the horrific gaffe ( his wife lauded for "refusing to let him die). Her feelings and Liz's are very justified.
My wife and I were surprised that Roger's wife, Chaz, dines alone at this huge dinner table while Roger sits in a chair upstairs all by himself with his gravity bag and IV pole. She said she feels it would bother him, but that's not what the quote he gave in Esquire that I excerpted would lead you to believe.
We both noted that when Oprah gushed that Roger was "cancer-free", he DID NOT give the famous "Two Thumbs Up" but instead crossed the fingers on both his hands instead. That seemed very realistic.
Charm


65 yr Old Frack
Stage IV BOT T3N2M0 HPV 16+
2007:72GY IMRT(40) 8 ERBITUX No PEG
2008:CANCER BACK Salvage Surgery
25GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin
Apaghia /G button
2012: CANCER BACK -left tonsilar fossa
40GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin

Passed away 4-29-13
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It wasn't everything that we could have wished for. But there were some positives.

1. Most people have never even heard of "our" kind of cancer, Ebert being on Oprah raises awareness manyfold.

2. I am proud that Ebert who has hidden from public view, is way out there in it now. The Esquire pictures and story, the Oprah show, help our cause.

3. In case no one noticed that Apple laptop, is not customized, and every Apple computer has the ability in may different types of voices to speak what is typed. This technology enables, for very low cost, those without a voice to have one. I get this question at the foundation monthly. Commercial text to speech machines costs tens of thousands.

4. You have to remember that this episode of her show was slated for OSCAR talk and predictions, not health issues. Given the nature of the designed programing, I think it was great that she made time in a show dedicated in its entirety to another subject, to have a segment on Ebert's battle.

5. I too didn't really care for the would not let him die comments. But in some way it was a tribute to all that caregivers deal with, and how they fight for us. They are unsung heros in their own right. I know that in my own case about 2/3rd's the way through treatment when the morphine, pain, and depression was the worst, I was clinically suicidal. I really did not wish to go on. Ingrid fought for me, and fought with me to "pony up" fight to continue on. There was no OCF message board to turn to for that kind of keep fighting dialog... it was all her. Had I my own way, I would have put an end to it. Clearly in retrospect that is evidence of several things. One would be that I do not have the inner strengths that many here exhibit. Another is that Ingrid fought with my doctors, for pain relief for me, for psychiatric help, and more when I just didn't give a crap about it and wanted quit and have my life to wind down. So in some respects this could be construed into the words, "she wouldn't let me die" that we heard on TV today. I know that I would have died if it were not for Ingrid's contribution to my fight. I would have taken my own life.

Those of you that have read my thousands of posts here likely find this odd given the tone of my many posts. Depression and pain combined with opiates is an odd mixture of bedfellows. How does a guy that fought for his own life and others in a foreign war, who was no John Wayne by any long shot, who while afraid daily, and daily saw the true ugliness of war, fought on hoping just to get through the next day, encounter a disease state in which he wants to just give up? Over there, I was less alone. I was part of a small group of guys all in the same boat, pulling together and watching each other's ass. As the "doc" they counted on me every day. When I magic markered on my helmet " Bust'in mine to save yours...." It was a statement of bonding in an intimate way with those other brothers in arms. Cancer can be a lonely enemy and fight. Pain can wear the strongest person down, everyone has a threshold. In my cancer experience, for the first time in my life, I knew where that line in the sand was. And I was ready to let it happen, until someone else stepped in and loaned me their strength. Someone else wouldn't let me die. My wife.

So I am a little more forgiving of the way things were stated on TV today, IF they were meant in the same context as my own experience was.

Gwyenth's mom, Blythe Danner has allowed me to draft a letter to be sent from her to Roger. It will praise him for going public and asking him to do a TV PSA for our disease. In the past he has not replied to my contacts to reach out to him, but I am hoping that a letter from Blythe, now timed with his desire to go public, will be received positively and further our cause of public awareness and early detection by getting him to work with us to help others.



Brian, stage 4 oral cancer survivor. OCF Founder and Director. The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.
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"OCF across the pond"
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Brian
you know that i had the same problems with Robin as you describe,except that he would have killed himself from the minute he was diagnosed given half a chance,so from that point of view yes i suppose i did refuse to allow him to die.I have to agree though that publicity of any description can only help our cause and thats what is important.I just get really mad at these emotive statements that celebraties seem to find essential when talking about things like cancer.I know that i am going to sound really ignorant here but could someone tell me who this man is?


Liz in the UK

Husband Robin aged 44 years Dx 8th Dec 2006 poorly differentiated SCC tongue with met to neck T1N2cM0 Surgery and Radiation.Finished TX April 2007
Recurrence June/07 died July 29th/07.

Never take your eye off the ball, it may just smack you in the mouth.
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Liz

Ebert is a famous American film critic. I started this thread with a link to the Esquire article without noticing that it had been an OCF news feed story. You can click on those links to read all about Ebert. I don't think BBC ever carried his commentaries. He acquired a pop culture sensibility with his now dead (from brain cancer) partner and their trademarked:
"Two thumbs up" reviews (when they both liked a movie)

The Esquire spread and Oprah appearance are all part of his attempted comeback to prior prominence as his star has definitely faded. As Brian implied, prior to this, Ebert has not been much of Cancer awareness advocate (he has repeatedly ignored OCF overtures) or if he was, it was done so quietly I never heard a peep. Not to be too cynical, but he appears to be playing the Cancer card now. (not that there's anything wrong with that)
Charm

Last edited by Charm2017; 03-03-2010 07:34 AM. Reason: typos

65 yr Old Frack
Stage IV BOT T3N2M0 HPV 16+
2007:72GY IMRT(40) 8 ERBITUX No PEG
2008:CANCER BACK Salvage Surgery
25GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin
Apaghia /G button
2012: CANCER BACK -left tonsilar fossa
40GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin

Passed away 4-29-13
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