Hi Tom

sounds as if you are doing a great job and i am so pleased Pam is holding her own.
Rob stunned me by going into manic "must do mode" virtually from the minute he was told he was terminal.Of course his time scale was very short ,but he guessed what was coming and had been thinking about things for a while before he knew for definate that he wasn't going to make it.Just two hours after we got back from the hospital he bought a VERY expensive bottle of brandy,got two glasses sat me down and then just said "this is what i want you to do"It was quite scary really.Within 72 hours i had sold all his tools,his van,given notice to the landlord ,arranged for a solicitor to come to the flat to make his will,started clearing cupboards,packing every thing up arranged a visiting roster for people to come and say goodbye and he even wanted me to clear out his clothes which i absolutely refused to do.It seems as if the compulsion to leave everything "in order"is quite normal and i suppose all those nagging jobs she wants doing are her way of tidying her life and making sure she is leaving everything the way she wants it with no loose ends.Like david says i would go with the flow and even if it goes against the grain as she gets weaker you should get plenty of good one on one time for just you two.

Wow, it couldn't have been said better...thanks Liz; Now I get it; Jim is doing the same thing I guess - tidying up. You are awesome!
Hugs - Paula