Hello everyone,
I am scheduled for surgery on Friday morning. I've been on a roller coaster ride here the past couple of days. I seem to go from OK lets get this over with and get on with my life to just jumping in the car and driving as far and as fast as I can just to escape. I'm also not sure whether I want someone at the hospital with me the morning of the surgery. I guess I'm scared of the uncertain. Not knowing what I will wake up to after the surgery is a bit unnerving.
David

DavidD, What kind of surgery are you having? Radical neck dissection? Modified radical? Or is it more extensive than that? I could only tell you that both my husband and I felt the same kind of anxiety that you are feeling, just before he had his modified radical surgery. I think I was more of a wreck for a good 2 weeks or so before that! But anyways - he got through it OK and since the doc also performed an Esophageal dilation - after a day or 2 in the hospital - he was eating solids and swallowing better too. The swelling really didn't start to kick in until a few weeks afterwards, and this is the main problem we're dealing with now. As apprehensive as you may feel now - push your worries aside, and I know if it was me - I would just want to get this over with - knowing it has to be done, and hopefully from there - start moving forward with the healing process. Good luck. I'll be thinking of you come Friday and sending warm thoughts and best wishes your way.

Hi David,
I know that jump in the car feeling very well!

I'm sure everybody is different but I had about 14 family members with me right up to when they wheeled me to surgery, and about 10 more when I got out. I think that the hospital was beginning to worry because there were so many people in the room. To me it felt great having them around that kind of support was very uplifting.

As to your cancer, if it is at the stage you mention in your profile they have caught it nicely early. That is a BIG plus for you. Try not to worry about the unknown. The mind is the hardest thing to deal with when these things happen. Let us know what they have told you.

This will be my 2nd surgery on my tongue. The first time was 8 years ago with part of the tongue being removed and no reconstruction. This time they say it will be removal of more tongue and most definitely reconstruction. I had the neck dissection 7 years ago with one node positive and the large muscle in the neck being removed as well. This was followed by 6 weeks of radiation. After radiation I became very sick with viral spinal meningitis,(was almost a goner that time). The radiation also caused necrosis of the lower jaw which was then replaced 2 years ago. I also lost all my teeth top and bottom. And yes I was using a fluoride treatment during the radiation but it did not help.
I do not think I am afraid of losing more of my tongue as much as I am of the chance that they will find more nodes or more muscle or something else affected/invaded by this pain in the ass disease. Sorry, but that is how I have to look at it sometimes. I have been grateful for every day that I opened my eyes and did not see my name listed in the Obit's over the past 8 years. However, I am very frustrated with what seems to be a lack of strides in finding better and more effective treatments for cancer. I should stop now because I am starting to rant, something I do when I am nervous.

Hi David,
This IS the place to rant! It helps me to know that others out there share the same fears. I have been feeling a little down the past few days over my slow progress and your story lifted me up and gave me something to have gratitude for. I will pray that your name continues to stay out of the obits.

Gary, SCC, Stage III, Right Tonsil, 34 days post treatment

DavidD, You sure have been through a lot already - and considering what you and many other people here have been through - you have every right to say what you want and let it all out! I agree with you that it's aggravating and disappointing that there isn't more being done in research to treat oral cancers. It seems to me that there are many other cancers that are brought into the limelight, and the general public is kept apprised of new developments in treatment - which is all well and good - but oral cancer is still an "unknown" to many people, and even sadder is the fact that there are people who ARE aware of this kind of cancer - yet choose to continue with certain dangerous lifestyles, increasing their risk of developing this disease. I realize not everyone who has a form of oral cancer was a smoker or a drinker - some folks never touched a cig in their lives - but it ticks me off to no end, to know some people have that "It could never happen to me" attitude. Yes, my husband was a heavy smoker - but he quit in 1997, and we were both a bit misguided in our thinking that once you quit, any damage done can be reverted. Anyways - I know I'm getting off on a tangent - sorry about that! But I also sense you are a fighter - and you will come through this surgery with that same determined spirit you had when you first started your battle 8 years ago, or so. My thoughts are with you and good luck on the surgery and the recovery ahead.