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Joined: Mar 2008
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Eric, Kathy, & Ingrid

I've had my moments. I developed a niche at different jobs doing the same thing: showing unreasonable people what unreasonable really was and then just short of mutual annihilation; crafting a reasonable solution. Very stressful and it earned me derogatory nicknames like: Mad Dog. My wife worried at first when I had to retire after the cancer that I wouldn't get my MDR (minimum daily requirement) of Conflict that I had become accustomed/addicted to, but the insurance companies, hospitals, doctors, medical supply houses, not only met my MDR but often exceeded it. and then there's there all the issues in this thread.
charm


65 yr Old Frack
Stage IV BOT T3N2M0 HPV 16+
2007:72GY IMRT(40) 8 ERBITUX No PEG
2008:CANCER BACK Salvage Surgery
25GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin
Apaghia /G button
2012: CANCER BACK -left tonsilar fossa
40GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin

Passed away 4-29-13
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 3,082
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
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Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)

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Posts: 3,082
John

Your coworkers sound like real gems. When you finish your radiation TX, you get the option to take that mask home with you. I'd recommend bringing it into your office and hanging it on the wall. You can tell them it's to remember all those nice relaxing naps you had on a nice slab of lead with the mask strapped to your face while getting zapped. Except it sounds like they'd be so clueless as to believe it.
Sorry to hear about your troubles. If you haven't already done so, read some of these back posts to see just how predictable and routine are these "slings & arrows" of outrageous coworkers - the common bad fortune of oral cancer patients.
Charm


65 yr Old Frack
Stage IV BOT T3N2M0 HPV 16+
2007:72GY IMRT(40) 8 ERBITUX No PEG
2008:CANCER BACK Salvage Surgery
25GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin
Apaghia /G button
2012: CANCER BACK -left tonsilar fossa
40GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin

Passed away 4-29-13
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 2,671
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
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Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)

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1) Re "Moot" and the first definition from Charm's quoted link: <<1. Originally in Law, of a case, issue, etc.: proposed for discussion at a moot (MOOT n.1 4). Later also gen.: open to argument, debatable; uncertain, doubtful; unable to be firmly resolved. Freq. in moot case, [moot] point.>> I find that this first definition is in conflict with itself i.e. "open to argument" and "unable to be firmly resolved". If a question has been determined to be "unable to be firmly resolved", then how can it also be "open to argument"? Huh? how come? I've always used "moot" as meaning "unable to be firmly resolved". I like Moot. . I might even name my next cat "Moot".
2) Re the "Gems" we encounter and their unthinking questions, I prefer to think they mean well, but they are just uneducated when it comes to the horrors of cancer survival (not stupid, just uneducated). The only way they could be truly educated is to have survived it themselves and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Since it is unlikely they can be properly educated, then - Forgive them? for they know not what they do. A few snappy comebacks would be cool, tho'


Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)



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Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
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Posts: 3,082
[quote]If a question has been determined to be "unable to be firmly resolved", then how can it also be "open to argument"? [/quote] Ah, the innocence of those untainted by any legal training in being able to argue not only anything but both sides. In my legal & personal experience, it is exactly those questions that cannot be firmly resolved that are argued over and over again. First at the district court level, then the appeals court, then the circuit court, and finally the Supreme Court where it may appear to be firmly resolved only to be reversed decades later when politically expedient or socially anathema. You need only take a look at the current social/legal hot button of when a human life legally begins (conception?, gestation? birth? or when a "soul" has been given ?) to see how there is no intenral conflict whatsoever in the first definition. Or to use a more relevant OCF comparison: Sort of like the PEG Wars smile
Charm


65 yr Old Frack
Stage IV BOT T3N2M0 HPV 16+
2007:72GY IMRT(40) 8 ERBITUX No PEG
2008:CANCER BACK Salvage Surgery
25GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin
Apaghia /G button
2012: CANCER BACK -left tonsilar fossa
40GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin

Passed away 4-29-13
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 2,671
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
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Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 2,671
Thank you, Charm - for that clarification. It now makes sense to me and gives me a little more patience and understanding for those whose opinions or beliefs may be contrary to, or not quite in line with my own. Ah-h-h the Peg Wars. It would seem to me that there may be times when both sides could be right.


Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)



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Posts: 117
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My favorite was when my boss told all the parents of the children I worked with that I was on vacation!


Taking a break from the forum for a while. Thank you so much for your support if you've been supportive.
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Posts: 112
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Vacation? Did it really happened? Screw this guy...


December, 2011 - T1N0M0 SSC Oral Tongue sugery (Dec 07, 2011). Partial glossectomy, primary closure. Selective Neck dissection, all 57 nodes free. 29 at diagnosis, no risk factors at all. No smoking, drinking and HPV negative. Can you explain? I can't.
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We've only been at this since mid-April and I've already figured out that everyone is now going to tell me their cancer story. It usually goes like this....

"My mother/sister/neighbor had colon/breast/skin cancer and they are all right now. That was x years ago, I'm sure your husband will be just fine."

All I can do is smile and thing...what they hell does that have to do with anything.

Other thing that has happened....was at the grocery store last week in our small town, at the checkout line, had a woman tell me her breast cancer story, and how she thought about killing herself, on a day where I was having a tough time coping with my husband's illness. I put my hand up, told her I had to go, she literally chased me through the checkouts to finish telling her story....oy vey!


wife/caregiver to Vince, dx 4/12 Stage IV BOT HPV+ SCC, poorly diff.; T4N2cMo; U of C; Clinical trial, Everolimus; 6 wks ind. chemo (Cetuximab, Cisplatin & Taxol), 50 x IMRT, 75 gy chemorad w/5FU, Hydrea & Taxol; 5 years out, thankfully still NED
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Posts: 138
Oh, the "other cancer" stories. They're the worst. Even my own mother who had a lumpectomy for breast cancer followed by radiation thought she knew just what I was going through. She tells me, "Radiation is nothing. It takes longer to set you up than to do it. They just zap you for a couple seconds." They just don't have a clue.

The worst most ridiculous comparison was when a friend of mine told me he had had an 8 hour surgery for his cancer. Turns out it was skin cancer and the 8 hours were sitting in the doctor's office waiting for pathology to come back after they cut a piece of skin out and checked the margins to see if they needed to take a little more. I guess it took all day. But he wasn't even in the hospital. And he's comparing that to my cancer.

I now have colon cancer with mets to lungs and my two lung surgeries weren't even as bad as treatment for oral cancer was. Colon cancer is now what I will die of, but my sympathy lies with oral cancer patients. And my love is still with the people in this forum that helped me through that.


BOT-SCC Partial glossectomy 7/16/09.
Stage IV, Rt ND 10/2/09.
Teeth out 11/5/09.
Port/peg in, 11/20/09.
7 wks rad & chemo, end 1/22/10
lung, colon biopsies 1/9/11 - both cancer
colon resect surg 1/10/11
Folfox + Avastin - discontinued 6/11
lung surgery 3/13/12, 5/1/12
mets to liver and bones
passed away 9/4/13
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 60
"OCF Down Under"
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"OCF Down Under"
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Posts: 60
[[quote=braziliangirl82]Vacation? Did it really happened? Screw this guy...[/quote]

Well put Braziliangirl82, if English is your second language then let me tell you that you have mastered it.


CG to husband Stage IV SCC left tonsil 11/11. Mets to 7 nodes on left, 2 on right, no distant mets. PEG, 7 weeks radiation and weekly Cisplatin ended Feb 10, 2012. PET 04/12 areas consistent with inflammation, complete response in nodes. Recurrence 09/13 pulmonary lymphatics. Died 22 Oct following an allergic reaction to Erbitux.
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