The victim comment really gets to me. I know your heart Malka, so I know you didn't mean anything offensively however your words are sticking with me and I have to say something.

I am no victim. A victim allows themselves to be victimized and that's not how I roll. I was attacked, ambushed by an enemy and brought to the brink of death. I chose to fight back, to walk through hell to continue being a husband and a father. I lossed my face, my physique, my voice and my career...but I beat this shit and I did it with the most important thing in my life still in tact, my family. Is that a victim? No that's a warrior.

I never even considered the term victim until I saw this post. Never even crossed my mind that I was a victim. Sh*t happens and you deal with it. Life is a collection of good and bad things that happen to us. I was down in the mouth for a while but never a victim.

Kelly

Carol is not a victim. She is a warrior, a fighter, not to be taken down by something she can't see, feel or touch. Cancer is not a religious sacrifice, no one is conned, cajoled, and neither an accident, result of war or of the "system". These are all done by "man" - the human race. One of the online dictionaries says as part of its definition of victim "one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions <a victim of cancer> <a victim of the auto crash> <a murder victim>". I disagree. Cancer can not be put into the same category as the accident or murder because the acts were caused by another human. Not the car, not the gun. No one said Gee I haven't had cancer before, I wonder what it's like.!!! Carol is a "victim" of the "system" because she has cancer. Just my 2 cents.

While I agree wholeheartedly with EricS and its as though he read my mind & heart and wrote it out, I also want to say something to Malka: these posts are supportive of your status as inspiration not accusations that you see yourself as a victim.
I know it's ironic for me to worry about hurting people's feelings with posts since I often do it, (but hey I've been cranky lately as my last two MRI's were cancelled due to snow and now tomorrow's is still on, but it looks like a tough commute back from it with more snow on the way and I'm sick of shoveling)but feelings can and do run very high on the issue of victim vs patient vs warrior.
so thanks for that post Malka as it has elicited very comforting posts of solidarity in my self view also. (plus it let me belatedly point out to Suzanne that she is an inspiration.)
Charm

Oh Charm...stop..I'm blushing...lol

I sure hope you can get the MRI and get home safe and sound!!

Good luck, Charm, and careful on those roads.

Don't say victim. say I am going survive a hand I was dealt. Something like getting dealt 2 Aces of Spades in a hot poker game. You have to redeal the cards and go for the pot.

EzJim

Well back in my hippie days, I always did go for the pot
Although in keeping with this recent subject of Victim:
I do feel victimized by the radiologist community. As I wrote a note to the MRI reviewer yesterday, it refreshed my memory how cavalier and frustrating radiologists are in tossing out phrases like : "Metastasis cannot be ruled out" or "Enhancement may reflect a tumor" - both actual quotes from prior MRIs at Georgetown Hospital Lombardi Cancer Center ( a CCC). It is so alarming to read that and hard to fathom how my radiation oconologist and my tumor board and my ENT can all affirmatively state to me that they see no indication of a tumor after they review the exact same MRI.
This time I reviewed the three places that had given me MRI's (Georgetown, Washington Radiology & Diagnostic Health) and went back to Diagnostic Health based on their much more extensive written report and past accuracy. Voting with my wallet.
Now the waiting begins - I see my ENT a week from tomorrow.
And don't you just hate that period of uncertainty ?
Charm

My comments made were not against Malka and her beliefs and/or thought processes. "Victim" is just another word that gets under the skin depending on the circumstances, ie oral cancer, as this is what this site is about...along with politics, money, religion. And a quad zillion other words and topics people may or may not agree with. The word "victim" caught me way off guard. Nothing even remotely I would consider Carol. I may be going on the defensive but I have utmost respect for everyone that has to fight. Playing defense has won games after all....

Linda

Linda

Did not mean to imply you did direct those comments at Malka. Lately some posters here have been so sensitive about imagined slights that I wanted to make clear what you just said.
charm