Markus, I think you are absolutely right. People who have not been around cancer do not know what to say. I was one of those people just a little over a year ago. I always thought that cancer was a family thing and stepped back out of consideration. Now that I’ve been through this and am doing well I make it a point to try to help whenever I can. Those friends who sat with me during chemo and drove me to radiation will be forever remembered.

I recently sent emails through my wife to convince one of her co-workers whose husband was diagnosed with melanoma to go to CTRC here in San Antonio for a second opinion. I even got a business card for the physician on one of my visits there and had my wife give it to her. Made me feel pretty good about sticking my nose in someone’s business I’ve never met

When a stranger gives you advice on what to eat so you will never have cancer again;

When a stranger tells you that if you had eaten certain foods or drank certain juices this never would have happened.

When a stranger gives you a web site that will sell you a cure you simply swallow so you don't have to go thru radiation.

classic David...I had to tell my mom to stop buying miracle foods from crack jobs because I wasn't going to try any of them

My personal favorie is when you make your copay, you get a receipt and they send you to collections 2 years later...yes you read that right...2 years later. I don't even see that doctor anymore.

Eat Blueberries

What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger

the pain is in your head (yes, for us it actually is but not the way they mean!!)

you don't smoke, do you? you shouldn't have cancer.

And of course..like everyone says that infamous "How aaaarrrreeeee you? with the look on their face like they are already at your funeral. I like to call it the "coffin look" So I always "I;m fine, thank you. How are you?" Then this one girl I work with will say "no, how aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeee you" like I can't be fine so she better ask me again...lol

Good idea here Charm..it's funny that we all get the same crap

Since I'm active duty military and returned to duty after treatment, but was restricted from deploying to Iraq, Afghanistan etc... A leader in my unit uttered the comment that it must be nice not to deploy. I agreed and said if I had known this I would have got cancer sooner.

There have been many that I usually ignore, but this one stuck a nerve.

Cool Thread
Tim

I am not amused when people say that "you have such a great attitude about it" or "you are so strong". WRONG ON BOTH COUNTS!

There is no reply to those comments. I often feel weak and scared (as my OCF family knows and has experienced themselves). Where do they get this stuff?

Donna

WOW- great responses. It is reassuring that others (beside a cantankerous coot like myself) bristle at these inane remarks. I had not thought to include the actions of the medical profession which can be just as annoying but were posted here.

Even though I am religious, or perhaps because I am, another one that gets to me is: "Oh, God never gives us more than we can bear", as though my cancer was some Divine stress test. I do confess that references to Job are easier to take.

Let's keep them coming folks.

Personally Im not a fan of posts that are negative and prefer to see things in the most positive way possible. We all have those moments, I dont want to dwell on them. I hope I am able to sustain this way of thinking after this 3rd round.

I just gotta share this one.....

At work there is a very chubby woman who is so lazy and has s very cocky attitude. She barely does her job but is the first one to comment abot others. Anyway, she walked up to me a few days ago while I was eating my mashed potatoes and beans for lunch and asked me how I was. She usually is nosey and rudse to me. The only reason she came over to me as I sat alone trying to be invisible was to see what I was eating.

How I hate office politics and avoid it at all costs. She said that it certainly looks like Im eating alot lately. I looked at her and said I can eat 4000 or 5000 calories per day and wont gain any weight. She looked at me and said ....WOW are you lucky!!!!! I told her I am not lucky at all, Im just fortunate to be alive and if she is able to eat real food then she is the lucky one.

What an idiot, here I am with no teeth and can barely eat a thing and Im the lucky one. Little did she know, I also have cancer again.

That enough of my grouching today. Now its time to make the most of the hand I was dealt. Im going to work, since I really am lucky to have a good job and right now Im able to do my job.

Talk about coincidences! Just the other day I was in the gym locker room and this really fat guy asks me " what's that string hanging out of your stomach?" When I explained it was a feeding tube and how I had shrunk from 177 of muscle to 126 pounds, he remarks: "Gee, maybe I should get cancer and get one of those"
I had to laugh and wasn't even upset it was actually struck me as so funny.
I don't think this thread is negative, instead it is a positive outlet for the frustration we all feel. After all the forum is entitled: COPING/ANGER & FEAR , neither of which feelings is considered "positive". Thanks for sharing that anyway Christine with the rest of us "lucky" ones.
Charm

I am chucking at Christines and Charms answer LOL Good thinking to both. My pet peave is I keep hearing " You sure don't look sick Jim" It's too bad I can't take them thru a day of my life and make them look like health too. Damn it takes a lot of pain and exercise to look half way decent. Yep,, But you don't look sick and you are about crawling on your hands and knees . LOL GRRRRRRRR POW right in the Kisser people. Some I do laugh at tho.